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My long distance girlfriend's mother died


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So how do you handle this.

 

I met a girl while on vacation, and we spent one month together. After 2 months, she came to stay with me for 2 months.

 

2 weeks ago she went home, and unexpectedly her mother passed away. Prior to that we were planning on her coming back soon, and she always told me she missed me a lot, cant wait to come back etc. We made plans for her to come back in July or August.

 

She is an only child, and was close to her mother.

 

I feel absolutely horrible for her. There is not much I can say or do. My mother passed away as well, so I know how it feels.

 

So at this point, we haven't talked about our plans. She is a wreck.

 

At times she is insecure, and jealous. It is much cheaper for me to call her, so I usually call around 8 or 9 when I am settled at home. However yesterday I called her at 5 to see how she is doing.

 

So, she called me back at 8, and I was not home, I was at the store. She was nervous. She asked why all of a sudden did I call her so early. Did I have plans at night? She was thinking I was out to meet another woman. She always tells me that I am handsome, make good money, good in bed, like sex a lot, so she doesn't believe I will wait for her. She then told me not to call her until I am coming to visit. She said she doesn't want to be around to answer the phone while I have casual sex with other women. She can't handle a relationship by phone. But nothing could be further from the truth, as I haven't thought about sex with anyone.

 

I called her everyday since we met, and she always waited by the phone, was happy to hear from me, and always brought up how it made her happy that I put in effort to contact her.

 

I suppose I am afraid that if I do not call her anymore things might slip away. However at the same time, right now our conversations are very weak, depressing, and I cannot come see her anytime very soon.

 

We talked everyday for the past 7 months. She is emotional now, sad, confused, alone etc. So, should I continue to make the effort? Or as per her request not call until I can come visit? (Which might be 5 months)

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LikeCharlotte

This is a very hard time for her and her insecurities and vulnerabilities are going to be out of control for awhile. That is the nature of grieving. Hang in there and be supportive. If you can keep your phone with you in case she needs you. Just be there and do what she asks even if it is hard. This is a time when the strength of the relationship is going to be tested. Life is hard and if you plan to do it together you'll have to be strong. Most of all let her know you are there for her. Good luck to both of you. I hope she is feeling better soon.

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