Jump to content

First Meeting after 16 years!! Nervous!


Recommended Posts

Hello all, I've been reading on here for a little while now and this would be my first "LDR".

 

I just got out of a 10 year abusive relationship and had been talking with a childhood friend of mine for the last year. We were friends as children, kept in contact for a short while, lost contact for 16 years and just got re-connected a year ago.

 

It started out that I was with my now ex boyfriend of 10 years and he was with his now ex wife of 7 years. We both have 2 kids and when we got reconnected it was all innocent - just friendly and happy to have been reconnected.

 

Well, as things went sour for me in my relationship things also went sour for him as well (which I hadn't known at the time)... so we were "single" and our friendship blossomed into something more.

 

We started out by texting one another... which then led to "im".... now we have long talks on the phone. We had talked about how we are falling for one another and having kids one day. I am just confused... I ask him "What are we?"... he says that he doesn't know if he can call us "us" yet until we meet so that our feelings for one another can be validated. I understand that. But now it seems that the texts from him are very very few (he used to text me all day long) now it seems like hardly at all. He doesn't call me as much anymore but when we do talk, it is still very good conversation. I'm just really confused, I don't exactly know how he feels for me even though he has told me he's falling for me and likes me a lot.

 

Just last night he called me and told me that his grandmother is in the hospital and that she had a massive heart attack, she's on a respirator... I told him that i am here for him if he needs someone to talk to... well, he hasn't contacted me since last night about 9 pm. I texted him this morninng to say good morning, i texted him at lunch time to say I am thinking of him and i texted him at 5pm to ask how he's doing and I haven't heard anything from him at all! That irritates me because I want to be there for him but I feel he isn't giving me a chance to. I also understand that maybe he doesn't want to talk at a difficult time like this. It's killing me though!!! I need to at least hear "I'm ok" in order to have a decent day or to know that he's the least bit thinking of me.

 

I am going to meet him for the first time in 16 years on April 24 (thursday) at 10:45pm... I will be staying there until Monday. I guess I am nervous because I haven't seen him in so long and also because I feel like he's losing some interest in me. Have any of you been in this type of situation?? I am new to long distance relationships and let me tell you... it's hard! I need to feel him, see him hear his voice! I need to hear from him at least once a day in order to make it through the day, but it seems less and less on his part. I contact him at least once a day.... is that good or bad? Do you think he's getting sick of me contacting him? WHat exactly should I do in this situation? I know that for me, if I stop contacting him, I will feel sad and heartbroken and i'm afraid that I'll get lonely and want to move on. I really can't wait to see him... I hope that it makes our bond stronger, but then i fear that once i do leave to go back home, that he won't bother to see me because he'll either be bored of me or have lost interest.

 

Any suggestions on how i can cope and what i should do?? Thanks

Link to post
Share on other sites

First I want to say that I don't have personal experience with this but my mother has been in LDRs and I have a friend who has been in one.

 

I'm seeing a theme here in all of them.

 

Men can't seem to sustain the level of communication on a consistent basis that the women want/need. They're just not like we are.

 

I think in person they may be very attentive (I can't say for sure) but this is the way it seems to be. I've seen this over and over again on LS too.

 

Right now, he seems busy and preoccupied with his grandmother. Let him be. He may not have the energy left to talk to you about it.

 

I would just back off a bit and relax. Let him come to you when he's ready.

 

In the meantime, I think you'll get the answers you need when you meet. Just relax until then.

 

Good luck with the meeting and let us know how it goes, ok? And again, please try to relax. He's already told you how he feels so try not to doubt that now.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...