! I'm in an EXTREME rut!!!!!!!

[HurtingDeeply]

Ok Let me put it all out there on what my situation is:

 

I'm 18 (he's 21) & I've been with him for 3 years, and we live 13 hours apart from eachother. We've been through everything together and have grown and changed alot from eachother since we've been together. We're so deeply in love, and can't even explain how much it hurts for me to even be in this situation to begin with. He became my whole world; everything I breathed, thought of, longed for, and cherished with my whole heart. He was on the top of my list.

I'm in my senior year of high school & our plan has been for me to move there after I graduate high school and attend college there. Since he lives so far away we see eachother on average every 2 months to sometimes even 6 months..but on average about every 3 months. He lives with his parents, and I sleep in the guest room when I'm there; vice versa. Well we broke up like mid-2004 for a few months & got back together around September/October 2004. Around October he met this girl at a gym, and said that he knew her from Elementary school. He told me that they're going to hang out with some of his guy buddies and work out together at the gym every other night. Then, he informed me they were going to a concert together as 'buddies' and nothing more.It was a band at the time he was crazy over and I guess so was she and I was too. She used to call him and leave voice messages and they started hanging out more frequently, and he went to her job I found out later and she had also been to his house. I had no suspicions because I trusted him & really cared for him. One day, in early November or so he calls me angry saying that she cussed him out for no reason or something along those lines & he was pissed and never talking to her again. He sounded REALLY upset and I didn't know why he cared so much but I just went along with it figuring he was just sad he lost a friend. After that, I recall if I ever brought up her name or something that had to do with her or the band that they saw together he started acting funny[like sad, angry, guilty, like he was hiding something and didn't know how to act about it or wanting me to find out about] One evening, a year and 2 months later, I confronted him about why he got so upset at the sound of her name, etc. and he said he wasn't and it was all in my head. We got off of the telephone, and he called me immediately back pratically crying stating how he messed up and said that she and him 'messed around & fooled around' in his room. My heart stopped and I thought he meant a kiss or flirting; He told me they had sexual intercourse two or three times & oral sex once. He lost his virginity to her I was to find out a few months after that. For a moment, my world shattered and I was so emotional that I was numb from feeling them. I felt like such a fool for trusting him and being so blind. In June 2005, I lost my virginity to him. I honestly wanted to wait until marriage and he was aware of this but told me that I was the one for him & we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. [ He told me this origionally when he wanted to buy me a promise ring in November 2004. He then "proposed" with it a couple of months after that during New years, when the ball dropped in Time Square. I knew I loved him, and wanted to spend my life with him too so I went ahead and made love with him.

Things were getting better in June 2006, 1 year or so later after finding out the news and I was starting to nearly move on. I stayed with him because I loved him and I knew that he was sorry & I forgave him explaining that he better never do that again to me. He said he could never hurt the one person he truly loves and that's why he didn't tell me for so long. Well in mid-June, I was soaking in the bath and noticed that something wasn't right health-wise with my body. I felt these little skin lesions that I had never felt before. Once out of the bath tub, I got a mirror and flashlight and sure enough something was very wrong. I called my boyfriend and he started getting worried and we scheduled an appointment at a clinic near him so I could visit it and get diagnosed when I was to fly there a couple of weeks later. Being the curious and worried person that I am I wanted to know if there was anything wrong with me sooner than that, so to do that I needed to find info on the girl that he cheated on me with. Sure enough she had a profile at Myspace.com. I was terrified to read that she had been raped when she was in high school at a party.[she had it written on her profile because she said it made her a stronger person today. I'm glad she had it on there because it made me realize I really did need to get checked out.] I still wanted to know if I had something wrong with me, so I came up with a fake membership and posted a fake message to her saying I had been raped too and just found out I had an HPV( the STD I had symptoms of) to find out. [ I know it was wrong; but I had to know the truth.] It turned out she had it. I started crying immediately I just knew inside that I had it too.[ It's transmittable even with a condom on and 85% of sexually active people have it in the U.S., most of them without even knowing because it's so highly contagious and sometimes doesn't show an outbreak for years.]I flew down there and my boyfriend rented a condo at the beach near his city so we could relax as much as possible and have time alone.*my parents didn't know* I know-BAD, but it was an emergency..his parents didn't like us alone there either but we were both of age so they let us do as we pleased. We went to the clinic confidentially & she examined me and said I have it. My boyfriend immediately felt guilty & started getting teary-eyed. She handed us more info about it and we left. I decided to lay down and relax on the bed and my boyfriend took the garbage out and came back. He saw me laying on the bed and kneeled to my side on the ground while I was laying down, balling to the point that he couldn't breathe stating, "I'm so sorry!! I'm so sorry! Ohhh GOD..I'm so sorry.My life has been terrible, and now I gave you an STD on top of it, I'm so sorry, baby!!" I comforted him saying " I know baby, I know. Don't cry, I know." and rubbing his back. On the inside, I was hurt more than words can say and part of me was angry. But I kept telling my self that he didn't know she had an STD so it wasn't completly his fault it was just the fact that he cheated on me in the first place. Well, we kept it confidential after that from everyone, including his parents and my parents, because we didn't want them to find out about what we had done, we thought it would only make the situation 10 times worse & planned to get it treated sometime when we saw eachother next. We went to the airport, both crying harder then usual because we would know this would be worse then the usual goodbye and flying away see you in a few months kind of thing, if that's not difficult enough.

Things were getting a little bit better, then came September 2006. He told me that he had a few more things that he kept holding inside that he thought I needed to know.[i immediately went OHHH NO!! not AGAIN!!], and he told me that when he went to spring break in March 2005 with his guy buddies that he went to nightclubs, parties where people were doings tons of illegal drugs and informed me that he was really really drunk and asked a girl to make out with him but she supposedly said no and nothing happened.[*Now that I look at it; I think they may have gone way further than what he told me. I also think the only reason he told me is because that day, his friend that went with him to spring break added me on my myspace profile and asked if I'll be down there for this coming spring break at the beach, and I feel like my boyfriend thought that he would tell me, if he didn't say it first.*] He then went on to tell me he went to stripclubs with the same guy & got lots of lapdances, etc. and that he went to the same guys' college house parties to get drunk, high off of pot and once even off of cocaine.[Yep, you read it right--COCAINE!] I wanted to break it off right then and there.Butstarted falling back in love with him, wanting to move on from it, as much as I felt like I shouldn't at ALL. But I looked at it as he's a changed person now & is even considering starting church when I move down there. (unless you count he still lies because he lied to me this whole 3 years about all of that and never told me) Being the Christian girl that I am, it's very difficult for me to stay with someone that keeps doing wrong over and over and over. But there's another side to it that keeps telling me that he's changed now for the most part and he keeps saying that he'll never do it again. But that other part also says I'm young, and can do SO much better so just to break up with him..but that's the really tough part; I don't know how to break up with someone who is a big part of my world and who I had my entire future planned out with, and who I can't help falling in love with all over again at the drop of a hat. I also don't know how, once a miracle happens and I get the strength, to just break-up with him, and walk away from a part of my world not knowing what could have been, knowing I'd never see him again. Not EVER. I especially don't know how I could stand the pain of our memories and flying away for the last time on the plane and not just have a nervous break-down. How much pain can he heart hold?? I'll also have to live the daily life of something complelty different after high school, all the way up until my wedding day because I planned all of that to be with him. But what really worries me, is how can I even begin to break up with him, when I fly down there in a couple of weeks for Thanksgiving? How do I do it, and when and where? Should I do it right when I get there so the week isn't full of us kissing and acting as a couple, and it makes me look like a major hypocrite to break up with him at the end of the week? Should I wait til the end of the week, so I don't have to stay in his house the whole time while we're broken up and we have to cry while we're in the same household? How does one go about doing that in my situation? It's kind of insane when you really think about it. Or do I just stay with him, hoping he'll change and hoping we'll make it? Honestly, I'm stuck in the biggest rut of my life that I've ever been in and it determines my life & how it's going to be. Should I break up with him and find someone knew when I start college? It would be simpler if I were with someone else..Or do I just stay with him hoping I'll move on from all the crap he's put me through and trust him again?

 

I know that was like reading a long novel; but my life is at hand and I'd realllly appreciate some good advice and guidance right now. Someone's life is at risk; Mine! Please help me!Idon't know what decision to make and I definitly don't want to make the wrong one.

 

Thankyou SO much.

HurtingDeeply.

[HurtingDeeply]

Sorry I forgot to mention, on occasion he still gets wierd when he hears her name and says not to talk about it or her or to say her name. I'm not sure if it's out of guilt, or if he has feelings for her or what. If you want to know more on that part of the story, go to the cheating/flirting/jealousy forum and read the post "I think he still has feelings for the girl he cheated on me with". Another thing I find odd even after all these years, he looks at her myspace profile like once a week. He claims it's just to see what's going on on her life, but WTF, IT'S ONCE A WEEK AND WHY SHOULD HE CARE? IF HE LOVES ME WHY WOULD HE EVEN GIVE A CRAP? He should HATE her..and he is mad about the STD thing but you know what i mean. HE TOLD ME A FEW WEEKS AGO, HE WOULD QUIT BUT I DON'T TRUST THAT HE DID. HE SAID HE EXAGGEREATED WHEN HE SAID ONCE A WEEK BUT WHATEVER. That's one of the main things that this whole thing together..is that he hurt me, but what's killing me, is that this whole thing may say that I was the rebound of their little whatever you want to call it. "fling, lust, crush, sex",etc..I just hope one of those things weren't LOVE & that he lied about it. I know she didn't really care about him, i found out from reading on her profile she's only loved two of her boyfriends and his name wasn't one of them. But what in the HELL is the doing still looking at her profile and his interest in even the least bit of her life? It doesn't really make any sense to me, other then he still may have feelings for her. What do you think on this part of it?

[dropdeadlegs]

That was so hard to read and I only did because you seem so desperate. In the future, please use paragraphs and I think you will get more responses. Some people would take one look and say "too much eyestrain to even try...."

 

Breakups are painful. Especially when you have had thoughts of long term goals and happiness, which many relationships are all about. Breakups are painful even when YOU WANT OUT of the relationship.

 

It's obviously your decision to make whether you can forgive the past lies, indescretions, and drug usage. But, if I actually made sense of everything I think your main question (other than How do I live without him?) was about the actual breaking off of the relationship.

 

I like face to face breakups versus text messages, emails, phone calls or letters. Since you are in a LDR that began so young I think that changes the rules a bit. You asked about breaking up the beginning of Thanksgiving week or the end. In my opinion, I wouldn't even go there for Thanksgiving if you need to break up. It's a long way to go and a lot of expense to go through. I also wouldn't be able to wait that long, it's like four weeks away, right? You seemed concerned about acting normal for the beginning of that week if you waited until the end to break up. I would be worried about acting normal for the four weeks leading up to that day. Surely you must have contact by at least one of the previously mentioned manners on a regular basis.

 

I know you believe this guy is the love of your life, but look how damaging the relationship has been to you. You have been so forgiving and you now have an STD to show for it all. HPV probably isn't the end of the world, but it seems to be linked with a higher incidence of cervical cancer in women. I don't know all about it (try Googling HPV for far better information) but I haven't heard of it having that kind of medical consequence for men.

 

Please remember this is all just my opinion and everyone has an opinion and an a**hole. I hope you find the solutions you are searching for and good luck to you in whatever you decide. I feel certain you will find love again if you choose to leave this one. Where can I place MY bet? (Feels like a sure thing)

[HurtingDeeply]

That was so hard to read and I only did because you seem so desperate. In the future, please use paragraphs and I think you will get more responses. Some people would take one look and say "too much eyestrain to even try...."

 

Breakups are painful. Especially when you have had thoughts of long term goals and happiness, which many relationships are all about. Breakups are painful even when YOU WANT OUT of the relationship.

 

It's obviously your decision to make whether you can forgive the past lies, indescretions, and drug usage. But, if I actually made sense of everything I think your main question (other than How do I live without him?) was about the actual breaking off of the relationship.

 

I like face to face breakups versus text messages, emails, phone calls or letters. Since you are in a LDR that began so young I think that changes the rules a bit. You asked about breaking up the beginning of Thanksgiving week or the end. In my opinion, I wouldn't even go there for Thanksgiving if you need to break up. It's a long way to go and a lot of expense to go through. I also wouldn't be able to wait that long, it's like four weeks away, right? You seemed concerned about acting normal for the beginning of that week if you waited until the end to break up. I would be worried about acting normal for the four weeks leading up to that day. Surely you must have contact by at least one of the previously mentioned manners on a regular basis.

 

I know you believe this guy is the love of your life, but look how damaging the relationship has been to you. You have been so forgiving and you now have an STD to show for it all. HPV probably isn't the end of the world, but it seems to be linked with a higher incidence of cervical cancer in women. I don't know all about it (try Googling HPV for far better information) but I haven't heard of it having that kind of medical consequence for men.

 

Please remember this is all just my opinion and everyone has an opinion and an a**hole. I hope you find the solutions you are searching for and good luck to you in whatever you decide. I feel certain you will find love again if you choose to leave this one. Where can I place MY bet? (Feels like a sure thing)

 

Yea I wouldn't be going down there, but he bought the plane ticket, a whlie back and he told his parents I need to be treated for the STD. Yea he told them about after he confessed all of the other stuff because he knew that whether i chose to be with him or not, I needed to be treated for this STD. The plane ticket was nearly $400.00 anyway and they're paying for my treatment and I don't have to go through my parents to get treatment, so I basically have to go down there. If the situation were different, I would stay here. Sorry about the way I typed that out, I would have done alot better but I was more worried about getting my situation out there then the way I typed it out at the moment. Sorry though!

Thankyou for your advice & for your time I really appreciate it alot.

[justagirliegirl]

The lack of paragraphs made this very hard to read.

 

Are you two in different countries?

 

13 hour flight or by car?

 

It seems to me the things he has done to you shouldn't be forgivable. He lost his virginity to someone else an gave you an STD.

 

You are both very young and will probably changes heaps in the next few years and may not want the same things you want now.

 

It looks like he is wanting to be a typical 21 year old male partying and get laid.

 

When you get to college it will be an entirely new experience for you with many new people coming into your life.

[HurtingDeeply]

Thankyou so much for reading and replying to that. It means the world that you care. You give great advice.

 

thanks,

 

Hurtingdeeply:)

[HurtingDeeply]

The lack of paragraphs made this very hard to read.

 

Are you two in different countries?

 

13 hour flight or by car?

 

It seems to me the things he has done to you shouldn't be forgivable. He lost his virginity to someone else an gave you an STD.

 

You are both very young and will probably changes heaps in the next few years and may not want the same things you want now.

 

It looks like he is wanting to be a typical 21 year old male partying and get laid.

 

When you get to college it will be an entirely new experience for you with many new people coming into your life.

 

13 hours by car..no we both live in the U.S.

[spinningmywheels]

I'm going to be completely honest and admit that I didn't read every single paragraph of your original post, but most of them. That's a horrible situation to be in - to have been betrayed so much, and so badly, with such horrible consequences at 18 is really tough.

 

I agree with the above poster in that I don't think the things that you say have happened should be forgivable. But, as someone else already said, it is your choice to make.

 

And I totally get the whole thing of his parents paying for treatment and you not wanting to tell your own parents, I understand that can be extremely unpleasant and I certainly don't know anything about your family - but maybe you should give that more thought?

 

a) was your b/f honest with his parents about how you got the STD?

b) Regardless, shouldn't you get treatment sooner rather than later for the sake of your health? there may be clinics in your area you could go to for affordable treatment/help.

c) I know this sounds cliche, but sometimes it's very true that parents can really surprise you. Your family may be able to help you in this situation (STD and boyfriend) more than you could know/imagine. Don't underestimate them.

 

 

On the question of how do you go on without someone who has been such a big part of your life, it's one I've been thinking about too, and I've got circumstances nowhere near as bad as yours....

 

I'd say, in order to get through that transition time should you choose to dump him (which, for what it's worth, totally gets my vote) - you have to step back as much as you can and just think long and hard about who you are - bring the focus of your mind and heart back to you, not the "us" of the relationship. Rediscover yourself, so to speak. Reach out to old friends, find new interests, take care of yourself emotionally and physically.

 

You may have to cocoon yourself for a little while, in a manner of speaking. It might not hurt to consider some type of counseling, just to help you through it.

 

Come to think of it I did go through a bad, bad breakup senior year of college, a relationship that scarred me for a long time. I had an unintentional rebound relationship, went into a depression and got help - reconnected with a lot of my friends and relatives and interests.

 

It does change you, and it's certainly not easy/always pleasant - but it made me much, much stronger and healthier in the end. Isn't that better than staying with someone who lies, cheats on you, does drugs and

doesn't respect or love you enough to honor all the two of you had planned?

[HurtingDeeply]

Thankyou for your response. Yes he told his parents about his cheating with that girl the first time & giving me the STD; and then his mother got on the phone with me and talked to me about it & said she'll find treatment for me immediately and to try to keep it a secret from my parents because she doesn't want him to go to prison( i know--that's pushing it a little bit!) because he had already turned 18 before me. But she said she'll pay for it & the treatment is in two weeks. I don't have any clinics around here because I live in a very rural farm area & the nearest is 2 hours away and I don't have a vehicle without taking my parents' car and they don't let me drive that far away so for right now; it's my only hope. I just keep praying that it's only HPV and not something more serious! Something that could ruin my life or take my life away completly. It's very scary thinking this could happen just because I fell in love with a guy. Ya know what they say; Love is blind! In my case very very blind..maybe deaf too..but I was young and naive and i've definitly learned my lesson!

[Michelle74]

First I want to tell you that I am sorry that you are so young and having to experience this all in your first serious relationship... I do have bad news for you about HPV, you may get rid of the warts but you never get rid of the virus, it will stay in your system for the rest of your life. HPV is pretty serious sweetheart, you have a higher risk of developing cervix cancer and if you have a outbreak during child birth you risk passing it on to you baby. I know that this is pretty scary to find out but it is not the end of the world. But you do have the obligation to tell future partners about HPV, and use a condom when you have sex so you or your partner do not spread the virus to anyone else in the future...( thank you dropdeadlegs for having insight to give her the tools to research HPV, you rock!)

 

It does not really matter what we think you should do because when it comes down to it you are the only one who can make the choice that you feel is right. But I will tell you from experience (keep in mind I am much older than you) that once a cheater always a cheater. If he has done it once he will do it again if the situation is presented to him...As for the strip clubs, I would not let that one get to you at all. The women there are working to take a man's money, and your boyfriend and his friends were silly enough to do this...They left broke and with their friends the women left with their money and went home to their boyfriends,husbands or girlfriends....

 

From experience when a man gets "weird" at the mention of another persons name there is something that they are hiding from you...I just got out of a 3 1/2 year relationship about 2 months ago and he did the same thing to me, but me being older knew what this meant from my past experiences and delt with it the best way I could... I understand that this is your first love, but sometimes love is blind and misguided. I know that I thought that I would never find someone who could love me like my ex did but 2 months later I have met someone who is amazing and just wonderful to have in my life. I do not know where this present relationship will lead to but now I know my life did not end when my ex and I broke up.

 

You just have to really do some soul searching and realize that the easiest words to say to someone is I am sorry but it takes more strength mean it and change yourself so that you never have to say those words to that person you love again...Good luck....

[HurtingDeeply]

First I want to tell you that I am sorry that you are so young and having to experience this all in your first serious relationship... I do have bad news for you about HPV, you may get rid of the warts but you never get rid of the virus, it will stay in your system for the rest of your life. HPV is pretty serious sweetheart, you have a higher risk of developing cervix cancer and if you have a outbreak during child birth you risk passing it on to you baby. I know that this is pretty scary to find out but it is not the end of the world. But you do have the obligation to tell future partners about HPV, and use a condom when you have sex so you or your partner do not spread the virus to anyone else in the future...( thank you dropdeadlegs for having insight to give her the tools to research HPV, you rock!)

 

It does not really matter what we think you should do because when it comes down to it you are the only one who can make the choice that you feel is right. But I will tell you from experience (keep in mind I am much older than you) that once a cheater always a cheater. If he has done it once he will do it again if the situation is presented to him...As for the strip clubs, I would not let that one get to you at all. The women there are working to take a man's money, and your boyfriend and his friends were silly enough to do this...They left broke and with their friends the women left with their money and went home to their boyfriends,husbands or girlfriends....

 

From experience when a man gets "weird" at the mention of another persons name there is something that they are hiding from you...I just got out of a 3 1/2 year relationship about 2 months ago and he did the same thing to me, but me being older knew what this meant from my past experiences and delt with it the best way I could... I understand that this is your first love, but sometimes love is blind and misguided. I know that I thought that I would never find someone who could love me like my ex did but 2 months later I have met someone who is amazing and just wonderful to have in my life. I do not know where this present relationship will lead to but now I know my life did not end when my ex and I broke up.

 

You just have to really do some soul searching and realize that the easiest words to say to someone is I am sorry but it takes more strength mean it and change yourself so that you never have to say those words to that person you love again...Good luck....

 

Thankyou for your reply & your thoughts.

 

That's not news to me though, because I've already been to the gyno once & have been tested & I've been doing research on it since I first thought I had it which was near the beginning of the year. Yes, it is a terrible thing to have, but what I meant by something that could take my life away is something like HIV/AIDS; not just wart outbreaks(i have the low risk) and a pap smear every 6 months to a year. He's lied to me so much, I don't know if there were even more ppl he's been with. Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions a little, but I just like to be aware of things and be cautious. We always used condoms during vaginal sex but there was one time during oral sex when we didn't, and HIV can be transmitted that way. He sure has lost alot of weight recently..but that could be because of his new vegetarian/vegan diet that he's been on for about a year.

 

That's just a thought, I'm not trying to get anyone worried. And yes, we'll be getting tested for it when I'm down there to be 100% sure what's going on with our bodies to be healthy.

[Guest]

Hurting,

 

You really are wiser than years, unfortunately due to this BF.

 

Any woman who has given her virginity to her first love knows that ache in the heart. You will recover.

 

You seem torn about when to tell him it is over. Can you reschedule your return trip sooner? that is what I would try to do. Tell him asap & get back home to my family that loves me & never would risk my health or heart like this guy did.

 

I feel for you pain - but you know hat you have to do.

 

And kudos on keeping up on medical end of things.

[HurtingDeeply]

Hurting,

You really are wiser than years, unfortunately due to this BF.

Any woman who has given her virginity to her first love knows that ache in the heart. You will recover.

You seem torn about when to tell him it is over. Can you reschedule your return trip sooner? that is what I would try to do. Tell him asap & get back home to my family that loves me & never would risk my health or heart like this guy did.

I feel for you pain - but you know hat you have to do.

And kudos on keeping up on medical end of things.

Wow, thanks so much for your support--you're all so nice! Yea, the pain is unbearable if I think about it too much or think about the times we've had or If I wonder if he still longs after the girl he cheated on me with and I was the rebound..Ive had all sorts of thoughts.

I can't schedule it sooner it's costs over $100 to do that and I see him in a week anyway. I'm going to break up with him after I Get back..I know if I do it before, he may not pay for my treatment and his family(aunts, cousins, uncles, grandparetns..and he lives with his parents and brother! the whole crew will be there) is visiting from Dallas that week at his house too for thanksgiving and if we're broken up that would just look wierd to the family that I'm at his house but we're not together and I flew across the country ya know so..Also, we'd both be crying about eachother and going through a break-up in the same house & I'd be having to sleep in his room! So yea..it will be wierd..but it could be alot wierder if we're broken up or whatever.. I never thought my life would spiral out of control like this haha it's insane! Not to mention how awkward it will be to sit in front of his parents with them knowing I have GENITAL WARTS! They're never going to look at me the same again even though it's not my fault! How am i even going to look them in the face?! aaah!? If my life were a sitcom/drama/comedy this would make a very interesting episode let me tell ya..I can see it being played out by the cast of "friends" right now. hahaha. i guess this situation sucks so much that it's kinda funny. Anyway.

thanks for the support you guys.

[HurtingDeeply]

Ok WISH ME LUCK! Since you have read this, you know my situation. I'm going to be traveling there for Thanksgiving. I'm leaving tomorrow morning so wish me luck that everything goes well ( breaking up with him, surgery, not falling back in love with him, akwardness with his family, akwardness with his parents, hanging out with his friends, recovering from the surgery, my flights, etc.) It all starts TOMORROW.

 

I'm so nervous..and sad..and happy..and angry. I'm nervous because I want everything to go okay, sad because I'm saying goodbye to something that's been in my life for three years, happy because I won't have to deal with the problems afterwards, and angry that I'm having to deal with this situation in the first place. ESPECIALLY while traveling. I don't want to have a nervous break-down while I'm at his house in front of him or his family. I don't want to have one at the airport or on the airplane either. There's so much weight on my shoulders..Thanyou all for being here for me thus far. You're all WONDERFUL!

 

Please pray for me for everything to go okay; and keep me in your thoughts; this is going to be rough.VERY rough.

 

thanks again,

HurtingDeeply

[Island Girl]

Just try and remember that in a little while this is all going to be behind you. This is the last step.

 

I feel for you kiddo - I do. Sheesh. This guy has really been a peach.

 

But this is one very small thing. I know it doesn't feel like it but my mom has always put things in perspective for me with this one:

 

Imagine you're standing next to a HUGE tree. When you stand next to it, it is immense. So big it blocks the sky. But you take a couple steps away and it gets a little smaller. Wlak off into the distance and it gets even smaller until very quickly you can't even see it anymore.

 

That is what this is for you. It seems HUGE right now but quicker than you realize you will be putting this behind you and it will shrink into the past fairly quickly.

[HurtingDeeply]

Just try and remember that in a little while this is all going to be behind you. This is the last step.

 

I feel for you kiddo - I do. Sheesh. This guy has really been a peach.

 

But this is one very small thing. I know it doesn't feel like it but my mom has always put things in perspective for me with this one:

 

Imagine you're standing next to a HUGE tree. When you stand next to it, it is immense. So big it blocks the sky. But you take a couple steps away and it gets a little smaller. Wlak off into the distance and it gets even smaller until very quickly you can't even see it anymore.

 

That is what this is for you. It seems HUGE right now but quicker than you realize you will be putting this behind you and it will shrink into the past fairly quickly.

 

awww. Thanks that makes me feel alot better! You rock! When it gets bad, I'll just think of that! Have a good evening/night!

 

Hurtingdeeply

[Mary3]

I believe that he is still in love with that other girl.

 

He has an emotional bond with her and a reaction when her name comes into the picture.

 

She may not necessarily feel the same way about him but he is obsessing over her and visiting her MYspace page over and over...

 

 

But lets get to the root of the problem : LDR's are very hard on people. Why ? Because you are not there . He is not with you . And he is acting like a normal 21 year old thinking about sex every 20 minutes. He is expected to see you every 3 months and not think or fantasize about other girls ? Virtually impossible unless he is a Monk.

 

He did what 21 year old guys do. Some more to the extreme as not all 21 year old guys go to strip clubs or snort cocaine. But the getting the ya yas out is pretty normal.

 

He met a girl in your absense. She rocked his world Hard ! He has not forgotten about her.

 

Sorry to hear about your virus. I hope you can find treatments that will help you.

 

Your bf has alot of guilt to carry the rest of his life.

[HurtingDeeply]

hey guys I'm back I have tons to tell everyone but no time so I'll start with the most important thing..The nurse doesn't think I have HPV or ever have; but that the things that looked like it were skin tags. She said it is still a possibility but to keep a watch on it.

 

I'll explain the rest of the trip later!

 

Love

HurtingDeeply