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Dogwood_Girl

Okay I know this is a far bigger deal to me than it should be, but that's half the problem. My boyfriend's best friend is a girl he used to date. She told him to tell me that if I marry him, I need to know that I marry both of them because she came first.

 

I feel kinda crappy because she made him tell me, like it was a rule that I just had to give over to.

 

Also, I know she's a little jealous. Because this is a long distance relationship, tomorrow will be the first time I've ever met her...and I'm already feeling territorial. How do I handle it if things get catty over him?

 

How do I just let what she said before roll off my back like it doesn't matter?

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bluechocolate

Well I think your b/f was a bit of an idiot to pass that message on to you.

 

What was his response to her? It should have been, "When I get married by wife will come before all others in my life".

 

I feel kinda crappy because she made him tell me, like it was a rule that I just had to give over to.

 

Uh, no. She didn't make him do anything. It was his choice to tell you & like I said above, it was the wrong choice.

 

How do I handle it if things get catty over him?

 

Things will only get catty if you let them. Anyway, it is not up to you to handle a situation like this, it is up to him.

 

How long ago did he date her? Personally I would be wary of anyone who keeps exes around like good friends. There is just too much potential there for doubt & unnecessary drama.

 

I've had a few exes who said they wanted to be friends, my response was always, "I have enough friends, thank you."

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Dogwood_Girl

they only dated for a month and he broke it off because she was a bit too clingy and already talking about having kids and stuff...he just wasn't into her.

 

I don't know when that all happened, but I know that he's only known her about a year.

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bluechocolate

I don't know when that all happened, but I know that he's only known her about a year.

 

So relatively recently then. Sorry to say this, but I think this could be bad news. Not that he is still interested in her, but that she is probably still interested in him. This is why I think having exes as friends can be a tricky situation. She may be playing the friendship bit hoping, that if she sticks around long enough, one day she'll win first prize. Of course I could be wrong, but you should tread carefully. Obviously you can't tell him who to be friends with, only hope that he's smart enough to know the difference between a friend & a hanger-on.

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ahhh she still is his gf..... and he needs to break up with her.

 

I am sure it is a big ego boost to him and she loves making you feel like second in his life.

 

Explain it to him and if he keeps her around...... let him have her.

 

She sounds like a psycho to me.

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