Very Tempted Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 I am a divorced male in my late 40's. I have know a woman in her late 20's for the past year. I recall when I first saw her she caught my eye, but she never paid much attention to anyone. She started working in the same department where I work for the past six months, and we had a very amicable relationship, and I liked her very much as a person. She was married, with one daughter, and she seemed to speak of her husband in very kind terms. Later I found that her husband had cheated on her in the past, and she said that she would have an affair too if the opportunity arose. Since that time she has been very friendly, and invited me to go dancing with her on many occassions. She has been very persistent, and continues to tell me how nice I am. She has asked nearly everyday for the past two weeks if I have bought my dancing shoes. She has told me that she signed us up for dancing school. She even says that her husband approved of the idea because he likes me too even though I have never met him. I do believe that she is not just joking with me, but is serious. I also found out from someone that also knows this woman, that she has been having an affair with another man. The fact that she has had/having an affair with another man really lowers my impression of her, but I find myself becoming very attracted to her. Honestly I believe that if we were together alone , and she gave me the right signals that I too might become physically involved with her. I feel that it is ethically wrong to have an affair with a married person, even if that persons spouse does not treat them well. If they are unhappy with their marriage, they should commit to getting a divorce before starting another serious relationship. Further, if I were to have a long-term relationship with that person, what security would I have knowing that she fooled around on her last husband. Anyway, I think that I am becoming so tempted because I am so attracted to her, that I needed to write this down to make it clear to myself why it is a bad idea to have an affair with a married person. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Attraction isn't a message from heaven. It's not fate calling to you. It's biology. So is gas. Both are curable if you take the right measures. In your case, you can tell her to quit asking you to go dancing because you want to spend that time with your wife. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 #1 She's MARRIED #2 Can we say mid-life crisis? Your feelings and urges are perfectly normal - it's what you do with them that you have to live with -- and she has to live with -- and her husband and family have to live with -- and your family has to live with -- and your employer (or possibly former employer) will have to deal with..... Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 #1 She's MARRIED #2 Can we say mid-life crisis? Your feelings and urges are perfectly normal - it's what you do with them that you have to live with -- and she has to live with -- and her husband and family have to live with -- and your family has to live with -- and your employer (or possibly former employer) will have to deal with..... AND her other lover, the one she's already cheating with, will have to live with... Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 AND her other lover, the one she's already cheating with, will have to live with.. Now it's just sounding like a real bad soap opera. Walk away, VT. You don't want to be the kind of loon you see on those shows. It's a bad idea on SO many levels... Link to post Share on other sites
konfuzd Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Getting attached to a woman who's a known cheater is only setting yourself up for heartache. Link to post Share on other sites
john2776 Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Don't go there!! You have already stated all the reasons yourself. You know it is a stupid idea. But you want to screw her.... <Sigh> Your desires are perfectly normal - just do everyone a favour and don't get involved. You have already had a divorce, you don't need more heartache. Also "never dip your pen in company ink" - your career could go down the drain as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Sup Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 I am a divorced male in my late 40's. I have know a woman in her late 20's for the past year. I recall when I first saw her she caught my eye, but she never paid much attention to anyone. She started working in the same department where I work for the past six months, and we had a very amicable relationship, and I liked her very much as a person. She was married, with one daughter, and she seemed to speak of her husband in very kind terms. Later I found that her husband had cheated on her in the past, and she said that she would have an affair too if the opportunity arose. Since that time she has been very friendly, and invited me to go dancing with her on many occassions. She has been very persistent, and continues to tell me how nice I am. She has asked nearly everyday for the past two weeks if I have bought my dancing shoes. She has told me that she signed us up for dancing school. She even says that her husband approved of the idea because he likes me too even though I have never met him. I do believe that she is not just joking with me, but is serious. I also found out from someone that also knows this woman, that she has been having an affair with another man. The fact that she has had/having an affair with another man really lowers my impression of her, but I find myself becoming very attracted to her. Honestly I believe that if we were together alone , and she gave me the right signals that I too might become physically involved with her. I feel that it is ethically wrong to have an affair with a married person, even if that persons spouse does not treat them well. If they are unhappy with their marriage, they should commit to getting a divorce before starting another serious relationship. Further, if I were to have a long-term relationship with that person, what security would I have knowing that she fooled around on her last husband. Anyway, I think that I am becoming so tempted because I am so attracted to her, that I needed to write this down to make it clear to myself why it is a bad idea to have an affair with a married person. If she's messed around already, even if she hasn't, AIDS! Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Yes shes bad for going with another bloke but doesnt mean shes got aids.You can go out and meet a lass who you really like,get to know her and sleep with her and she may have aids.just because shes slept with another bloke doesnt mean she has a disease.Anyone can have aids not just people who cheat! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Go read some posts in the OW/OM section. Then decide if you want to go down that road... Link to post Share on other sites
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