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Is it wrong to ask for intimate details?


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My man always tells me I can ask him whatever I want (including about his past), especially when we're chatting late at night in bed. Well, I'm dying to know all the details of his sexual relationships with his ex-girlfriends!! Don't ask me why; I have no idea. It sounds kinda sick, even to me. But, would that be a wrong thing to ask?

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My man always tells me I can ask him whatever I want (including about his past), especially when we're chatting late at night in bed. Well, I'm dying to know all the details of his sexual relationships with his ex-girlfriends!! Don't ask me why; I have no idea. It sounds kinda sick, even to me. But, would that be a wrong thing to ask?

 

Its not wrong to ask because he keeps telling you that you can ask, but do you REALLY want to know about his past sex life?

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It's not wrong to be curious, and I don't think it's wrong to ask, especially since he told you that you can ask him anything. But, don't do the typical female thing where you ask, he answers, and then you get all mad or pouty. That's annoying. Don't ask anything you don't want to hear the answer to.

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But, don't do the typical female thing where you ask, he answers, and then you get all mad or pouty.

 

lol, you're a guy, right? :D I really don't know; not sure I'd ever ask. But I did feel kind of mentally disturbed for wondering. I just wonder if I'm better than them, or if I should improve some things, etc.

 

Dude, I sound way perverted when I say that.

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Well regardless of if you ask, I don't think you're weird or perverted for wondering. I think it's a common thing to wonder about. Don't sweat it too much. :cool:

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Don't Ask! End of story. If you compare yourself to his past you will only ruin your present. Work on what you have now ask him what he wants and likes. Is there some special dirty little thing he really enjoys. Now he had better also start asking you what you want.

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RecordProducer

When I was with my ex-husband, I wanted to hear all the details about his previous relationships. But it turned out that I was his second partner in bed (at age 34 :D ); his previous wife, with whom the sex was not so good, was his first. While with my current BF, I don't want to hear anything about his former sexual experiences. He shares some details with me anyway and I don't feel great about it. Probably because he has had many women before me or because I am simply more in love with him tnan with anyone before. :love: I also find myself jealous and I've NEVER been jealous before. :o

Also, don't assume he wants to hear all your details.

Great point! ;)

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I think it's natural to be curious about your boyfriend's ex-lovers, etc. But at the same time it may be almost masochistic. If your boyfriend starts telling you how good one of his ex's was, are you going to be prepared for that? Another response given is right on the money -> don't ask questions you aren't prepared to hear the answer to & on the same token, would you be able to answer the question if it was HIM asking YOU?

 

I think I would personally feel curious, then hurt. In some aspects, you may be passively sabotaging the relationship...

 

Just my 2 cents...

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Wierd... my boyfriend and I have kind of always just naturally talked about this stuff since we met... I have been with one other person and he has been with lots of other people but we kind of just share things... y'know, if it came up in conversation naturally for some reason.... and it never really was wierd... it even was kind of sexy sometimes, and helped us get a feeling for what the other liked... the only time I feel wierd about it is when it is about his ex Christina, who he was in a serious relationship with for 7 months about 2 years ago... I know he still has feelings for her on some level (because he told me, but he also told me it is 100% over in his mind because it didn't work for a million reasons, so I feel ok with that part of it) and once when we were telling best sex ever stories she won the prize for best and that felt wierd... it wasn't because it wasn't me since I figured statistically it was probably from someone else (and probably from some early memory when he discoverd some fun kink or something, since those really stick with you), but it felt wierd that it was her since I knew he still has some feelings for her... and when I met her I found that we are totally different in tons of ways and I didn't really have much in common with her so that made me compare myself and that felt wierd.... so yah, with this one girl I would rather block out the stories and history because it makes me feel wierd and jealous, but any other stories dont bother me and I have even met his other serious ex and a few of his not so serious ex-playfriends and that was never wierd..... funny how jealousy works, no one will ever understand.....

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Well I was a virgin when I met my husband, so it's not like I got anything to tell him that he doesn't know already ... :o Maybe that's why I'm so crazy curious about his past relationships, I don't know.

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i was in exactly the same situation with my current boyf when we first met. i wanted to know everything - and i ended up finding our stuff i really didnt want to hear. though the fact that i know, i think, is better than me getting all wierd and paranoid and making up scenarios in my head. i think it should be natural to be able to chat about past experiences, he thinks its a bit wierd. i find out bits and pieces at a time, which i have to make do with for the moment!

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Exactly how detailed do you want to get and can you handle what he might tell you? Ask yourself these question before you start asking him for details.

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You know, my husband and I have a pretty honest relationship. He's always told me that I can ask whatever I want to. I know he means he will tell me whatever but I just can't bring myself to do it. I know he had a threesome and I've wanted to ask more details but it makes me jealous to hear those kinds of things about him, because he's way more experienced than I am.

So, even though I'm curious, I don't ask.

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My girlfriend is 15 years my senior so I damn well know she has more experience than me. Doesn't bother me though.

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