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Girlfriend gave random guy her number


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Niall9318

my gf give a random good looking guy her number after talking to him for about 3 minutes at a festival while i was there. she told me straight away she give a guy her number and says its to make friends because she hasn't got many. i was pissed but she told me im all she wants and its just to make friends. did i have the right to be pissed? should i still be pissed? and what would you guys do/react now?? shes always telling me how much she is in love with me and misses me when im not around. she even talks about marrying me someday and moving in together. she only moved to this country last year and has no friends

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You should be upset. Friends from work or school is one thing, you kind of know them in a way before hand. Just giving a random guy your number after 3 mins is asking for trouble.

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Dating is a time of discovery, when you learn about the other person and decide if you want to commit to this other person in a more serious way.

 

What have you learned about your girlfriend? That she lacks boundaries and an awareness of what would be considered respectful behaviour in a relationship. What you chose to do with this information is entirely your decision...

 

Perhaps the social norms are a little different in her country? Regardless, she is now in a relationship with you and you have told her that this is not acceptable to you. You are not wrong to expect that your girlfriend would not be giving her phone number to random dudes on the street...

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She is full of it.

 

 

 

I would have left her at the festival and get her own ride home then block her number. You teach people how you want to be respected, your reaction was very mild in my eyes, indicates you don't require a lot of respect from women you date.

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Niall9318

she only moved here and has no friends and she said its to make friends the same culture as her (because he was) and that maybe he'd have family or sisters she could befriend. she says she misses her culture.

 

honestly though i havent heard anyone back her up. i already forgave her but said ill never be ok with it as it still bothers me. should i bring it back up with her? or let this on slide and keep an eye??

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she only moved here and has no friends and she said its to make friends the same culture as her (because he was) and that maybe he'd have family or sisters she could befriend. she says she misses her culture.

 

honestly though i havent heard anyone back her up. i already forgave her but said ill never be ok with it as it still bothers me. should i bring it back up with her? or let this on slide and keep an eye??

 

 

You are very naive and you'll be back here soon asking why women don't respect you.

 

 

 

My boyfriend is from Europe and lives here in Canada, to make friends he joins associations and groups from his country, he goes to French pub to watch soccer with his fellow Frenchmen. He doesn't give his phone number to random women he meets and I don't care if those women are from France, giving his number to other females are a deal breaker!

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stillafool

She's full of it. How many women friends did she meet and give her number to? None. That's what I thought.

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is she a latino? perhaps she simply likes being friendly and open and needs more people around her to embrace her free spirit. I would go against the trend on this one, let her make new friends, do not try to suppress her vibrant personality, your only dating her in the early stages, who are you to say she cannot make friends with other guys.

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Guildford

Your girlfriend's motives may be innocent, but the guy is not interested in a platonic relationship. You should tell her that you should be there whenever the two of them get together. If it is for coffee or lunch, then it can be the three of you; if it sounds more like a date, then he should have his own date.

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my gf give a random good looking guy her number after talking to him for about 3 minutes at a festival while i was there. she told me straight away she give a guy her number and says its to make friends because she hasn't got many. i was pissed but she told me im all she wants and its just to make friends. did i have the right to be pissed? should i still be pissed? and what would you guys do/react now?? shes always telling me how much she is in love with me and misses me when im not around. she even talks about marrying me someday and moving in together. she only moved to this country last year and has no friends

 

I'd be pissed... and I would have ended things.

 

She has no sponsors or a job where she moved? She had to know someone to move to the country, didn't she?

 

Her excuse is pure BS. All the women at this festival and she couldn't strike up a conversation with one and give her the number?

 

Dude, you are her wingman, not her boyfriend.

 

 

honestly though i havent heard anyone back her up. i already forgave her but said ill never be ok with it as it still bothers me. should i bring it back up with her? or let this on slide and keep an eye??

 

 

Yeah, and no one is going to back her up because her excuse is BS. The guys she's used to where she's from are probably really gullible.

 

 

Only bring it back up if you intend upon ending things with her. Otherwise, what's the point? She lulled you back into the stupor, so no point in bringing it up now. Stop all talk of moving in together or getting married right now. She lost rank on that tip.

Edited by kendahke
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Turning point

I don't think you need to get angry or do anything really. Just let the contrast of her behavior versus her words sink in and you'll be fine.

 

You now know that she does not have the same definition of "girlfriend" that you do. At the very least, her version does not include exclusivity and what you choose to pursue with her can realized while fully informed.

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Gretchen12

Don't date women with no female friends. Seriously. It doesn't matter if she's new in town. Assuming she's telling the truth and she's not trying to date him, then what you have here is a woman with no friends. The only way she can make "friends" is by getting men to be interested in her to hang out with her. Nobody else would hang with her. Of course it doesn't last because soon the guy realizes she's just stringing him along.

 

Don't date people with no friends! If you do, it will always be a problem: either she'll cling to you because she has no one else, or she'll be shady meeting men who want to date her. What she did is akin to putting up a dating profile with cute pics and saying in her profile she's looking to meet new friends.

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Don't date people with no friends! If you do, it will always be a problem: either she'll cling to you because she has no one else, or she'll be shady meeting men who want to date her. What she did is akin to putting up a dating profile with cute pics and saying in her profile she's looking to meet new friends.

 

 

I have an issue with this comment, I think it is derogatory to girls who have that bit more difficulty in finding friends,

 

 

it can be a phase many of us, men and women go through actually , a period of time where there can be a lack of friends.

 

 

I think it is important to make the point here that any girl reading this who may be in a situation of not having friends, well there are plenty of guys out there who will not view it in a negative sense.

Edited by Foxhall
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The Outlaw

If she's sized a guy up in three minutes and gives him her number, she isn't worth another second of your time. Might be time to tell her to hit the road.

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she only moved here and has no friends and she said its to make friends the same culture as her (because he was) and that maybe he'd have family or sisters she could befriend. she says she misses her culture.

 

I only moved to my current country not long ago too and I dont have many friends and I'd also love more friends in my own culture. So if I was her, it is possible I gave him my number, BUT, it is so that I can meet his sisters, his female friends or friends girlfriends. It is to meet female friends through him. It is NOT to make friends with him.

Personally I would not accept if she wants to make friends with him.

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If you are a couple and you're out together or at an event together, and you befriend someone who could be perceived as a romantic/sexual interest and thus a threat, you immediately disclose that you are with someone and say, "I'm here with my guy/girl, come and meet him." This is both the accepted sign to back off if the person's interest is sexual, and a way to show good faith with your partner.

 

Assuming this was a large or long event and she could not find you in that moment, she should have given that signal and then texted you immediately or told you as soon as she encountered you, and done her level best to introduce you or arrange an introduction. It may be to homegirl's credit that she told you straight away, but she was probably just assuming you either snoop her phone or will eventually notice a call from this guy. Or a friend of yours saw the exchange.

 

In any case, she may have done this as a test to see what you will put up with from her and how serious you are about holding on to her. Your job here is to keep your cool but firmly assert that if you're to be a couple she must introduce you immediately to new male friends, not because you are insecure and scared but because you deserve respect from her and won't appreciate looking like a chump in the eyes of other men. If she is frightened or offended by this assertion, it's time to find yourself a new girl. Otherwise recognize that this is the first of many such tests, and in each case your task is to maintain your cool and not respond to bait.

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  • 2 weeks later...
loversquarrel

This is a shyt test. You pass the test by telling her she may have made a friend but lost one as well, then you walk.

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I would be out with her talking to other women and then dump her ass back to her country...

 

Do not ever let yourself be played!!!

 

I hope she is not sponging off of you by living with you and you are supporting her.

 

Do not let people disrespect you when in a relationship with them

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my gf give a random good looking guy her number after talking to him for about 3 minutes at a festival while i was there. she told me straight away she give a guy her number and says its to make friends because she hasn't got many.
If this random guy was an ugly guy would she have given him her phone number? No. If she were an ugly gal, would he have asked for her number? No.

 

By you tolerating as a concept her giving a random guy her number because she needs friends, you have in effect OKed him (and any other good looking guy she meets), calling her, getting together alone with her, and getting to know her on a personal level. Most dates do not involve sex. Dating is when 2 people that find each other attractive, spend time together to get to know each other on a personal level to see if they are compatible, and could be potential mates. If they are not compatible, no harm no foul, but if they are, she will dump you for them. You are now no longer in an exclusive relationship. Tell her that, and tell her that you now feel free to make new friends yourself.

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todreaminblue

maybe its a cultural thing..stay calm...explain to her that its not the done thing in a relationship as far as you are concerned....that its causing serious doubt in your mind about her level of commitment and give her a chance to delete any contact with this guy.....if she truly cares for you she will....deb

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