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So I just found this on my boyfriends phone...


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 24th February 2019, 6:37 AM   #16
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The last week has been hell. We have to continue living together until the lease is up on our flat and I don't really have anywhere else I can go. I tried to kick him out but he would not leave.

All he has done is begged and begged me to forgive him, tell me he knows hes done wrong and will do anything to make it up to me. Blah blah blah. I am so hurt and continuing to live with him is really difficult cannot fathom what I must have done wrong to deserve this. He kept telling me it was because he thought I was bored of him and he wanted to see if anyone else would still be interested in him. Part of me wants to stay because its comfortable I guess, but I know our relationship would be ruined. And this is doing nothing for my own mental health.

I know they were just messages but they're literally all I can think about, I think I would rather him have just slept with someone as a one off. My head is going to explode. I just can't stop thinking WHY we had a life together, a home, pets, we've been through so much. But then I have to remind myself he was prepared to throw it all away for her.

Last edited by Daaanz; 24th February 2019 at 6:40 AM..
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Old 24th February 2019, 12:45 PM   #17
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What will surprise you is that how many people would be willing to help you out if you simply ask. Start looking, start asking for help, even if it means sleeping on someone's couch.Get away from him.
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Old 24th February 2019, 2:40 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cersei View Post
No don't tell him you know anything, just say that you need someone better in bed.
I 2nd this lmao
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Old 24th February 2019, 3:06 PM   #19
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They are not just messages, OP.

They were your cue that he is emotionally checked out of your relationship, and doesn't respect the boundaries enough to break up with you before testing the waters with another person. I would have been insulted by his attempt to convince me that I was somehow to blame, for appearing "bored" of him. No. Just no. This is not what a decent partner does to address relationship doldrums.

Whether or not he acted on his desires expressed in the message is only part of the issue. The bigger problem is that he isn't invested in you anymore. His begging and apologizing don't change that.
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Old 24th February 2019, 8:18 PM   #20
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I agree he checked out of your relationship emotionally. And he is placing blame when it was him that got bored not you...he's just projecting. He's a d bag...pack your bags and get out.
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Old 25th February 2019, 4:37 AM   #21
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I agree he checked out of your relationship emotionally. And he is placing blame when it was him that got bored not you...he's just projecting. He's a d bag...pack your bags and get out.
Yes, I meant to point that out, too.

He's the one who was bored, OP. Don't let him twist that around on you.
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Old 27th February 2019, 12:24 AM   #22
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Just an opinion, but I actually don't think the messages were sincere. I get the impression he was trying to play her for sex.

I honestly think it's worse than if he actually really liked her. No suggestion on a change in policy from me. I'm sorry you are hurting, but stay strong - time to move the **** on!
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Old 4th March 2019, 9:08 AM   #23
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Sorry about that but I do think he is interested in that girl more than you.... he had a change of heart. If I were you I will break up with him. It doesn't matter what he says or whatever reasons he has. He lied to you and showed interest on someone else. That's enough reason. Even if he just wanted to play with her or flirt with her... that still doesn't change anything.
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Old 5th March 2019, 11:44 AM   #24
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OP are there any updates? How are you doing?
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Old 5th March 2019, 11:49 AM   #25
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I would have been out of there no matter where I had to move. Like Smackie said there are probably a lot of people who would be willing to help you short term until you can get your own place. Be honest OP, I think you like his begging and promising you a change and you are staying with him because you still want him.
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Old 5th March 2019, 6:29 PM   #26
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I would have been out of there no matter where I had to move. Like Smackie said there are probably a lot of people who would be willing to help you short term until you can get your own place. Be honest OP, I think you like his begging and promising you a change and you are staying with him because you still want him.

No where have I said that I am staying with him? I cannot stand the sight of him. When I am away from him, I do get a little sad yes, but as soon as I am around him again, I cannot bare it. I don't want him.
All of those things he said to her and the effort he went to, it was all so planned out. I can't forgive that, and I don't want to. I don't like his begging, it has gotten so boring and feels so insincere.
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Old 5th March 2019, 6:33 PM   #27
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Thank you for all your replies. I am doing ok, still feeling hurt but I'm getting there. I am just trying to focus on myself and I know I was reassured by so many people in the beginning, that it wasn't my fault, I kept thinking still what did I do. But I'm beginning to realise now, it's not my fault, I couldn't have done anything differently to prevent it from happening. He wanted to do it so he did. He wanted her instead of trying to sort out his own relationship. What man does that?
I am so done with it, honestly. I hate him anywhere near me. He is the one that has lost out.
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Old 6th March 2019, 9:53 PM   #28
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Don't know how much time left on your lease, but could you maybe move in with parents but keep up the rent payments so you don't have to be around him? Or try talking to the landlord and see if they let you out of the lease or will just put it in his name only? You might be able to make a "deal" by offering a couple months rent.
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Old 7th March 2019, 6:33 AM   #29
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Glad to see you didn't fall for his crocodile tears, the proclamations of never-ending love, the promises of future fidelity, and his claims that he's 'turned a corner' and/or is now a 'new man' and has 'learned his lesson and will never cheat again,' and that old favorite stand by - "It's only NOW that I realize how much I almost lost!" Yeah, they love using that one, as though they've had some kind of epiphany and have learned a valuable life lesson. The only thing most of these cheaters learn is how to be more slippery so they don't get caught again.

I'm glad you're able to see through the phony little shows he's been putting on for your benefit and that you won't be giving this liar another chance to screw you over again - because he will.
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Old 10th March 2019, 11:37 AM   #30
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Your spells your. You're spells you are.

I think you need to dump him.
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