Ramos87 Posted September 1, 2018 Share Posted September 1, 2018 I have a girl I hook up with, with no strings attached. We’ve hooked up for almost a year now. A few months ago she met my family because she comes by my house so much. When I thought maybe she was gonna think we were exclusive, I stopped letting her be around my family. I feel like I’m AFRAID of developing feelings for her. Sometimes she sends me selfies of herself and I reply with a smiley face or something. Lately when she’s been coming over, we hook up and then cuddle. We’ve gotten so comfy with eachother that she kinda freely roams my home. The last time we hooked up, we watched movies afterwards. I found myself laying across her chest while she played in my hair. Eventually I got up and fixed us both a meal. I just feel so comfy with her but idk if it’s because we hooked up a lot.... or if we’ve crossed some boundaries. I’m confused about how I feel. When she was leaving, I was on the phone and I saw her gathering her things. I asked her is she leaving and she said yes and I told her to be careful going home. Idk if I’m developing feelings or if I have them already.... I feel like we crossed too many lines to just be labeled as FWB. But we do not talk everyday like a couple so then again it’s like idk what we are. In the back of my mind I feel we will grow so much closer if this continues but idk if it’s even normal for FWB to behave the way we do Link to post Share on other sites
Guildford Posted September 1, 2018 Share Posted September 1, 2018 It is quite normal to begin to develop feelings for someone when you are frequently having sex with the person. Is she hooking up with anyone else and are you? Yes I believe your friend is developing feelings for you beyond lust, and she is not resisting those feelings. I believe you are developing feelings that are beyond lust, and you are resisting. Here is my advice: If you believe you could see yourself spending a lifetime with her, then you should tell her you are developing feelings for her and you would like to make the relationship exclusive and explore your feelings for each other. If you cannot see spending a lifetime together, then you should politely dump her and go no contact. Neither of you are likely to meet a future spouse when you are getting all your sexual needs met with the other person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ramos87 Posted September 1, 2018 Author Share Posted September 1, 2018 I’m not sleeping with anyone else and I don’t think she is Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted September 1, 2018 Share Posted September 1, 2018 I would consider this normal progression as friends. Because you've spent so much time together a level of comfort develops. That does not mean romantic feelings, or a desire to make this into more of a relationship. I sometimes get to this level of comfort with OS friends where there is no sex, too. And I definitely get to this level with FWB where there simply won't ever be a deeper relationship. IMO, don't worry about it, unless you want this to progress further, or she does when you don't. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 1, 2018 Share Posted September 1, 2018 What do you want to do here? If you want to try dating her, tell her that. If you want things to go back to the way they were, back off her a bit. Don't "take a break" but do see her less frequently. If you want to make sure no feelings develop end things now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 1, 2018 Share Posted September 1, 2018 Does she have more than one FWB? Does she also date? I mean, just because you get comfortable having sex with someone doesn't mean you're actually dating, but if you want to date her, take her on a date and act like a man who is interested in a woman for something more than sex. If you don't, you probably need to say "no" to the hanging out and turn down sex once in awhile and date other people. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ramos87 Posted September 1, 2018 Author Share Posted September 1, 2018 Does she have more than one FWB? Does she also date? I mean, just because you get comfortable having sex with someone doesn't mean you're actually dating, but if you want to date her, take her on a date and act like a man who is interested in a woman for something more than sex. If you don't, you probably need to say "no" to the hanging out and turn down sex once in awhile and date other people. No she only sleeps with me. We see eachother about every other day. I think she’s beautiful and I’m just getting to know her from seeing her so much. I’m just unsure if they way I feel is feelings or is it being comfortable with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Guildford Posted September 2, 2018 Share Posted September 2, 2018 Does your FWB have any serious faults? So far you have said that the sex is great, she is beautiful and you feel comfortable with her. Your relationship with FWB sounds like my relationship with my wife the year before we were married (although we did not call it "friends with benefits"). Let me ask you this: If she was in a bad auto accident, would you drop everything and rush to the hospital to see how she was; would you visit her every day at the hospital until she was released? Your relationship sounds like it would be the basis for a lifetime commitment, but you must also be ready to put everything aside in an emergency. My advice for you is: When you find the girl that is right for you, then propose and watch what happens. I would not propose quite yet, but if you agree with me you should suggest that the relationship be made exclusive and introduce her to your friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ramos87 Posted September 2, 2018 Author Share Posted September 2, 2018 Not really, she annoys me sometimes but that’s normal I guess. She can be insecure sometimes. She doesn’t like me to look at her body because she has scars on her back. I had a talk with her yesterday. I just told her that no man would ever turn her down for her scars and that it’s a part of her body. So that’s kinda the only thing she does is like act insecure sometimes about things. Other than that we get along fine. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 2, 2018 Share Posted September 2, 2018 Why not have a conversation with her about this and talk it out? Maybe if you got some input from her, it might help you see things clearer. Link to post Share on other sites
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