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Jealous & Being Overprotective


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Wookin Pa Nub

Me and girlfriend had a couple incidents recently that upset me and made me a bit jealous. I am a jealous guy but try not to show it. I am 46 divorced and my gf is 44, also divorced. She lives two hours from me so she is alone much of the time. She is a very fit yoga teacher who has absolute perfect fake DD breasts. She likes to wear revealing and tight clothing to show off her figure. I am ok with it as long as it's not too revealing - ie easy for boob to slip out. I will start with the minor incidents and end with the more serious one.

 

 

 

 

  1. It was nice day yesterday and we were running errands. She had tight tank top on with bra that really accentuated her breasts. I noticed guys checking her out as usual but a couple did more than the quick glance. I am standing right next to her for pete's sake. One older guy was staring at her for like 10 seconds. I almost said something to him. Should I do say something to guys that do the obvious stare down?
  2. She has what she calls "admirers" - guys who take her yoga classes. She's been asked out a few times by her students. She recently added a couple classes at a new fitness club. She shows me a business card she got from an admirer and she acts annoyed by him. My gf says he's from this new club and sent her some meditation videos. I let it go. Later I am thinking how did he send her videos? I looked at her phone and there were texts from him. She mostly ignored him. The last text he asked her to coffee after class to talk about divorce. I don't understand why she would give her phone number out to a guy. She is overly nice person which men interpret as flirting.
  3. My gf was mowing her grass and had trouble with the lawn mower. Her elderly neighbor was with her. My gf mows the neighbor's grass for her. A guy stopped his car and offered to help which she accepted. He ended up asking her name and asked her to lunch. He was persistent and repeatedly asked her. She kept saying no and finally walked away. She saw his car drive by two more times. I worry about her bc she is alone a lot. She tells me not to worry but I think she should be making better decisions.

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CautiouslyOptimistic

"Better choices..." such as what? Hide herself away because she dares have a good body? Try to build up a client base but not give out her phone number?

 

We've heard many times over about your hot yoga instructor girlfriend and her amazing body. If you haven't learned to accept it by now, you probably never will. She is doing nothing wrong.

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Wookin Pa Nub
"Better choices..." such as what? Hide herself away because she dares have a good body? Try to build up a client base but not give out her phone number?

 

We've heard many times over about your hot yoga instructor girlfriend and her amazing body. If you haven't learned to accept it by now, you probably never will. She is doing nothing wrong.

 

 

 

"Such as what?" - such as putting herself in a bad position. The drive by guy who helped asked her to go in her house to grab some paper towels. A former neighbor of mine was sexually assaulted in a similar manner. This is serious stuff.

 

 

She has no reason to give her number out to her students. She's employed by the club and the members sign up to take her classes. She doesn't make less money bc a guy stopped coming to the class.

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CautiouslyOptimistic
"Such as what?" - such as putting herself in a bad position. The drive by guy who helped asked her to go in her house to grab some paper towels. A former neighbor of mine was sexually assaulted in a similar manner. This is serious stuff.

 

 

She has no reason to give her number out to her students. She's employed by the club and the members sign up to take her classes. She doesn't make less money bc a guy stopped coming to the class.

 

So what did you tell her she should do instead?

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Wookin Pa Nub

The guy who stopped to help and kept asking her out, freaked her out a bit. I told her men think any little niceness is perceived as flirting and the girl is into the guy. I also told her never to go in house alone with a guy. That is what happened to my former neighbor who was sexually assaulted. Then also just be good about keeping garage door closed, doors locked at night, etc.

 

 

I haven't discussed her giving phone number out. Just last week she showed me a sexually inappropriate spam text she got from an area code far away. I said that's odd to get spam texts. She told me she never gives her number out. I guess that is not totally true bc she gave it out to this guy.

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CautiouslyOptimistic
The guy who stopped to help and kept asking her out, freaked her out a bit. I told her men think any little niceness is perceived as flirting and the girl is into the guy. I also told her never to go in house alone with a guy. That is what happened to my former neighbor who was sexually assaulted. Then also just be good about keeping garage door closed, doors locked at night, etc.

 

 

I haven't discussed her giving phone number out. Just last week she showed me a sexually inappropriate spam text she got from an area code far away. I said that's odd to get spam texts. She told me she never gives her number out. I guess that is not totally true bc she gave it out to this guy.

 

Did she let the guy go in the house with her?

 

I guess I don't see anything wrong with fitness professionals giving out their phone numbers. I don't know of even one who doesn't do that. Or communicate with clients via their Facebook page.

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Your hot gf does sound like someone who enjoys a little attention and loves to brag about that. She is who she is.

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Wookin Pa Nub

She didn't let him in but I told her never to do that bc of what happened to my former neighbor.

 

 

Her only "clients" are a group of ladies she teaches out of her home. Her other classes are group classes at various fitness clubs. She is not their personal yoga instructor. She probably was being nice to this guy and the guy came up with indirect way (sending her meditation video) to get her number and ask her out.

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Wookin Pa Nub
Your hot gf does sound like someone who enjoys a little attention and loves to brag about that. She is who she is.

 

 

 

She does like the attention I'm sure but she knows I can get jealous. She admits her line of work is hard for a guy like me. Yoga is a very up close and personal activity. Some of her fellow teachers have had sex and affairs with students. She says she doesn't do private lessons for men and doesn't make "adjustments" (her touching) men in class anymore. I guess she use to do that.

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CautiouslyOptimistic
She didn't let him in but I told her never to do that bc of what happened to my former neighbor.

 

 

 

So what exactly do you think she did wrong in that situation since you listed it in your OP? Do you have reason to mistrust her judgment? I think most women would know not to invite a stranger in (did he even ask to be invited in?).

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Your hot gf does sound like someone who enjoys a little attention and loves to brag about that. She is who she is.

 

Do you not think it might defeat the purpose for her to go out of her way to get the fake DDs just to cover them up completely? Would you rather her not have the fake DDs??

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Wookin Pa Nub

I would tell her she should have said "no thank you" when the stranger offered help. She could have asked a neighbor she knew well or called one of her brothers. It wasn't anything that couldn't wait.

 

 

I trust her judgment for the most part but she is incredibly friendly and naïve. When I told her not to let anyone in her house, she said that's good advice bc she might have done that.

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Wookin Pa Nub
Do you not think it might defeat the purpose for her to go out of her way to get the fake DDs just to cover them up completely? Would you rather her not have the fake DDs??

 

 

 

She even says she didn't get them to hide them lol. I don't mind her dressing the way she does (for the most part) but I don't like when guys do the obvious gawking, especially when I am standing right by her.

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CautiouslyOptimistic
I would tell her she should have said "no thank you" when the stranger offered help. She could have asked a neighbor she knew well or called one of her brothers. It wasn't anything that couldn't wait.

 

 

I trust her judgment for the most part but she is incredibly friendly and naïve. When I told her not to let anyone in her house, she said that's good advice bc she might have done that.

 

She must be quite naive, then, because most women I know would know not to do that.....even ones without DDs!

 

She can't help it if men stop and accost her. That's their fault, not hers. Instead of expecting her to perfectly fend off unwanted attention every time, we should be teaching men to leave women alone on their own private property!

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CautiouslyOptimistic
She even says she didn't get them to hide them lol. I don't mind her dressing the way she does (for the most part) but I don't like when guys do the obvious gawking, especially when I am standing right by her.

 

Uh huh.....:cool:

 

Every other guy on here says they feel proud of having a sexy lady on their arm and when other men check them out.

 

C'mon.

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Wookin Pa Nub

She could have said no before he got out of car but I agree men can be overaggressive and have trouble hear the word NO for some reason.

 

 

I am proud to have her on my arm, very proud but when I see a guy staring her up and down for 10+ seconds it then becomes disrespectful imo.

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RecentChange

Few thoughts.

 

She has fake breasts. Men are going to stare. We can talk about equality of the sexes, and about how dress and other things shouldn't affect the way someone is treated.....

 

But fake breasts send a message. May not be the message she ever intended, but they send a message none the less.

 

My sister is about the same age, also has a smoking hot body (and even better face). She has always gotten a lot of attention from men, but when she got fake breasts (and they look great, cost a boatload as she had them done by one of the best) - the "attention" reached a whole new level. When some men see fake breasts on display - They conclude it says something.

 

My brother in law loves her body, and... not the attention. Really, its kinda hard to have your cake and eat it too.

 

As for the lawn mower incident - I couldn't imagine ever accepting assistance from a stranger like that. In fact I HAVE had a guy stop when I was working on the front yard and home alone - said thanks for the offer, but no, I have it handled.

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Wookin Pa Nub
Few thoughts.

 

When some men see fake breasts on display - They conclude it says something.

 

 

As for the lawn mower incident - I couldn't imagine ever accepting assistance from a stranger like that. In fact I HAVE had a guy stop when I was working on the front yard and home alone - said thanks for the offer, but no, I have it handled.

 

 

 

I think you're right, my gf is tall (5'9") and always wears heels. She's either in yoga pants, tight jeans or tight dress depending on occasion. When we were in Vegas for my work conference she was walking around the Bellagio by herself and a guy propositioned her. She said "you think I am a prostitute?"

 

 

I would have liked to think she would not have accepted help from a total stranger. Her naivety worries me sometimes.

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From what I've read it sounds like your GF is good at saying no. She hasn't done anything that I would consider troubling - it's just unfortunate that guys think they can get with her because she's attractive to a lot of them.

 

Do you think she needs to close off all contact with guys just because they might find her attractive? I feel that's very restrictive and overbearing. If it were me I'd be proud that others find my partner desirable... and trust her to maintain her boundaries especially given you have little reason to suggest that she isn't.

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Wookin Pa Nub
From what I've read it sounds like your GF is good at saying no. She hasn't done anything that I would consider troubling - it's just unfortunate that guys think they can get with her because she's attractive to a lot of them.

 

Do you think she needs to close off all contact with guys just because they might find her attractive? I feel that's very restrictive and overbearing. If it were me I'd be proud that others find my partner desirable... and trust her to maintain her boundaries especially given you have little reason to suggest that she isn't.

 

 

 

You are correct, she is good at saying no. She's told me when she's been asked out except for this most recent text from this new guy in her yoga class who asked to coffee to chat about divorce. I think she can be too nice sometimes which men interpret as flirting.

 

 

I guess the boundary thing is a fine line. I don't want to appear controlling but I don't think she should be giving her phone number out to guys.

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All the way through your posts, it's "I'm mostly OK with this, but...", "I tell her...", "she shouldn't...".

 

I haven't seen anything where she did anything wrong. Incident 1. how is she supposed to stop men looking at her? Cover up? Change how she is comfortable because other men look? Other than dressing a bit sexy, I don't see how she's doing anything wrong or encouraging anything. Incident 2. I don't know but she is a fitness professional. They need to be friendly to build their business. You admit that she hasn't said anything wrong to him or encouraged his advances. Incident 3. Sure, she could have been a little smarter than accepting help from a stranger, but I have friends who would do this. They expect the best in people, never assume the worst. It might be a little naive in terms of personal safety, but I don't see anything that should make you jealous.

 

I've seen your post history - there are countless events that you are not happy about and where your jealousy gets spiked. Why are you in this relationship?? Sure, she's hot and everything, but the relationship spins you into an insecure space more often than not. Is that fun for you? I don't think she's wrong. But I don't think you are either - you can't help how you feel. If you can't feel happy and secure in the relationship, I don't see the point. Breaking up doesn't have to be anyones fault, it just doesn't work sometimes.

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Wookin Pa Nub

Tribble - thanks for input.

 

 

On the first incident, it wasn't an indictment of her dress/looks but more of when should I step in and say something to the gawking guys? Again, I don't mind and I expect the typical 2 second glance but some guys look her up and down without regard to me standing there.

 

 

on the second, she can be friendly and professional without giving out personal information.

 

 

I am a jealous person and can be unsecure at times. I do need to remember I have a great loyal gf that every other guy drools over.

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Wookin Pa Nub

Just to rehash a bit - Last Sunday I found texts from a guy who takes gf's yoga class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. She only replied with a "thanks" to a meditation video he sent. The last text from him was on Friday asking her to coffee. There was no reply from her.

 

 

His name comes up on Tuesday and I said did your admirer ask you out? She said yes to coffee. I asked details and she said it was after class on Thursday. She told him no. Later I said didn't he send you meditation videos so he knows your phone number or email? She said no and that he sent videos thru face book messenger. I asked to see them but she said she deleted them.

 

 

I pushed a little bit and she got defensive that I was questioning her and didn't trust her. I never confessed to seeing the texts from him on her phone.

 

 

I had so much trust in her but now I am convinced she is lying.

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I won't pretend to be in shape like a yoga teacher but I got a good figure and generous boobs. I get attention and I get gentlemen offering me their numbers at times. I never take them and I ALWAYS.....always tell them I have a boyfriend. Last time a stranger offered me to grab a coffee with him I thanked him, told him I was flattered but I had a 'boyfriend' waiting for me at home. That's what your girlfriend is not doing and should be and that to me is a red flag.

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