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Did I overreact or was breaking up over flirting the right decision?


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 7th March 2018, 11:14 AM   #46
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You want there to be no hard feelings, barf.

You still want to talk to her, more barf.

You still want to be friends with her, a barforama.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zK0JaEde4VI
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Old 8th March 2018, 10:33 AM   #47
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You tell us your looking for a woman to love and have children with willing to share your dream of a rainbow colored home permanently surrounded by fluffy white clouds and a white picket fence. You want honest opinions on your situation because of the stress that her flirting is causing your relationship, you lost me at engaged and married. You want our honest responses yet you have not been that way with the caring folks that replied to you. My suggestion to you is, get yourself some independent counselling before you start another relationship. Your idea of living your dream is to achieve it by taking it from someone else. I see no difference between you and the guy you accuse her of flirting with. If I ever get married again and find out my wife wants to take dancing lessons without me my immediate response will be to tell her she can after our divorce is finalized. I never knew there were so many predators in dancing studio's. Get yourself some help before you hurt anymore people and totally trash your chances at happiness. Just my honest opinion.
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Old 8th March 2018, 12:07 PM   #48
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aliveagain View Post
You tell us your looking for a woman to love and have children with willing to share your dream of a rainbow colored home permanently surrounded by fluffy white clouds and a white picket fence. You want honest opinions on your situation because of the stress that her flirting is causing your relationship, you lost me at engaged and married. You want our honest responses yet you have not been that way with the caring folks that replied to you. My suggestion to you is, get yourself some independent counselling before you start another relationship. Your idea of living your dream is to achieve it by taking it from someone else. I see no difference between you and the guy you accuse her of flirting with. If I ever get married again and find out my wife wants to take dancing lessons without me my immediate response will be to tell her she can after our divorce is finalized. I never knew there were so many predators in dancing studio's. Get yourself some help before you hurt anymore people and totally trash your chances at happiness. Just my honest opinion.
Well, I don't know what to say.

I know my initial post was not 100% honest. I had a lot of shame for my situation and having to confess to yet another affair on LS after I got out of a really awful one a year ago. But I was honest, because I value honesty and felt it was the right thing to do.

I don't disagree with anything you've said. But I am trying to do the right thing now. I wish that some of you can see that.

I have inflicted enough pain upon myself. I don't think an ongoing public thrashing is going to do me much better. Mods, feel free to close this thread now. The initial reason for the post has been resolved.
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Old 8th March 2018, 12:14 PM   #49
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aliveagain View Post
You tell us your looking for a woman to love and have children with willing to share your dream of a rainbow colored home permanently surrounded by fluffy white clouds and a white picket fence. You want honest opinions on your situation because of the stress that her flirting is causing your relationship, you lost me at engaged and married. You want our honest responses yet you have not been that way with the caring folks that replied to you. My suggestion to you is, get yourself some independent counselling before you start another relationship. Your idea of living your dream is to achieve it by taking it from someone else. I see no difference between you and the guy you accuse her of flirting with. If I ever get married again and find out my wife wants to take dancing lessons without me my immediate response will be to tell her she can after our divorce is finalized. I never knew there were so many predators in dancing studio's. Get yourself some help before you hurt anymore people and totally trash your chances at happiness. Just my honest opinion.
And yes, virtually all the men in dancing classes are there to hook up with women. Hell, it was the reason I became interested in dance years ago, although it's not the reason I stayed. In fact, these days I have a no-dating policy within the dance community, because I know how rampant jealousy and drama is between people who date in dance. Especially the type of dance I practice. It is a very intimate, close, sensual dance. But despite my policy, once in a while something happens with a woman. And it never ends well.

Almost ALL of the guys I know in the dance community are constantly on the prowl, flirting, and even if they're your "friend" they will go after your girl. A lot of the guys don't talk to or befriend each other because they see each other as competition, or they stop talking because of a girl. Another reason why I don't like dance teams. Maybe it's not this way everywhere, but it has been my experience in the local dance community for 10 years now. And I don't feel the need to compete with other guys in the scene or chase girls. I just want to escape my everyday life/stress, get exercise, and practice a creative art. It gets annoying, and I've had to back away from the scene at times when it gets to be too much.

I've already been in counseling for this same issue when I was involved with the engaged woman last year. I saw that therapist for over 5 years (long before the prior affair). I know you don't know much about that situation, but if you go back and read my old threads from a year ago, you'll see that we started out ethically as an open relationship and her fiancÚ approved of me. It only became an affair later. It doesn't make it any better, I know. With this most recent woman who is married, I honestly had no intentions of pursuing her. She was just a friend and dancing partner in my eyes. I was fine leaving it at that. But she later came on to me very strong, initiated the kissing, etc... I actually rejected her at first, but ultimately, I caved in because I thought she was someone special and it must be real if she's willing to do this with me. But I realized what it really was very quickly and then got out.

Please, I hope you can give me some credit and see that my heart is in the right place, even if I've made a lot of mistakes. I am not an evil person trying to do bad things, man. I'm trying.

Last edited by TunaInTheBrine; 8th March 2018 at 12:28 PM..
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Old 8th March 2018, 5:19 PM   #50
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The 'bozo' on the dance team saw her as a cheap easy lay....hence he had no issue in hitting on her.

The guy didn't respect her or you... He can't be blamed for that considering the circumstances.

Why are you still even friends with her while she's got you in probation anyway?

You'd be doing yourself a favour by cutting her out of your life for good.
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Old 8th March 2018, 7:40 PM   #51
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Originally Posted by TunaInTheBrine View Post
And yes, virtually all the men in dancing classes are there to hook up with women. Hell, it was the reason I became interested in dance years ago, although it's not the reason I stayed. In fact, these days I have a no-dating policy within the dance community, because I know how rampant jealousy and drama is between people who date in dance. Especially the type of dance I practice. It is a very intimate, close, sensual dance. But despite my policy, once in a while something happens with a woman. And it never ends well.

Almost ALL of the guys I know in the dance community are constantly on the prowl, flirting, and even if they're your "friend" they will go after your girl. A lot of the guys don't talk to or befriend each other because they see each other as competition, or they stop talking because of a girl. Another reason why I don't like dance teams. Maybe it's not this way everywhere, but it has been my experience in the local dance community for 10 years now. And I don't feel the need to compete with other guys in the scene or chase girls. I just want to escape my everyday life/stress, get exercise, and practice a creative art. It gets annoying, and I've had to back away from the scene at times when it gets to be too much.

I've already been in counseling for this same issue when I was involved with the engaged woman last year. I saw that therapist for over 5 years (long before the prior affair). I know you don't know much about that situation, but if you go back and read my old threads from a year ago, you'll see that we started out ethically as an open relationship and her fiancÚ approved of me. It only became an affair later. It doesn't make it any better, I know. With this most recent woman who is married, I honestly had no intentions of pursuing her. She was just a friend and dancing partner in my eyes. I was fine leaving it at that. But she later came on to me very strong, initiated the kissing, etc... I actually rejected her at first, but ultimately, I caved in because I thought she was someone special and it must be real if she's willing to do this with me. But I realized what it really was very quickly and then got out.

Please, I hope you can give me some credit and see that my heart is in the right place, even if I've made a lot of mistakes. I am not an evil person trying to do bad things, man. I'm trying.
I commend you for being in IC.

I condemn you for being with the same IC for five years and you
still are not fixed. Not time to stop IC. Just time to fire your old IC
and find a new and competent IC.

Many IC's are in it for the money. They will not say what you need to
hear but rather tell you what you want to hear so you keep paying
them every week.
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