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Anyone have friends or family who knew of your partners affair and DIDN'T tell you?


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 1st March 2018, 2:59 PM   #16
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mistake made
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Old 1st March 2018, 3:14 PM   #17
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Discussion of friends and family not disclosing a partner's known infidelity can continue here. For background on, or discussion of, the thread starter's particular relationship issue, please see this thread...

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/roma...iend-sleepover

After a minor cleanup, I'll add also to please discuss your own experiences and reactions, meaning where you personally have experienced a partner cheating, a friend or family member knowing, and not telling you.

Thanks!

Last edited by William; 1st March 2018 at 5:53 PM.. Reason: Meta discussion cleanup
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Old 9th March 2018, 1:28 PM   #18
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I heard from a friend he had been cheating on his GF when he was abroad studying months before she broke it off for unrelated reasons.

I had actually expected her to cheat, I never figured he would be the type to cheat.

I didn't tell the ex-GF (what good would it do? She'd break up with him again?), but I did make the guy promise that if he ever cheated on a girlfriend again he wouldn't tell me until they broke up.

I'm a coward, and don't want to make hard decisions.
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Old 9th March 2018, 11:27 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by Theonlyone92 View Post
In my case it was my GF and BFF

How did they justify it?
How did you react when you found out?
Whats your relationship with them now?

In my case my fiance was sleeping with my best friend and I caught them in my bed in my house.

Many other "friends" knew. Some life long and neighbors I grew up with.


How did they justify it?

They didn't...for awhile. I found out about 2 of these "friends" when I was in jail.

How did you react when you found out?

Violently...and very much so.
I would always like to say I am not that person anymore, but I am the same person. I have aged 30 years and have matured enough to be able to control my temper and my violent outbursts(for the most part).

Long story short. I had close to 4 years to think about what a confrontation was going to look like, And it looked pretty much like I thought it would when it did happen.

Whats your relationship with them now?

None. They are nothing to me except a negative experience in the making on sight.

I need to say to you, OP, that mine was an extreme case of reacting poorly. I was the poster boy for doing exactly what no one should ever do during confrontation. Had I been mature enough I'd have walked away, devastated, but hopeful to heal and move forward.

But I wasn't and I didn't. And I do not condone or wax poetic about anything I did. I talk about it on this forum on occasion to serve as a cautionary tale to those who arrive here determined to kick somebody's ass upon Discovery Day. Not you, but posters now and then come here seeking advice on revenge. And it's just not worth it.


I'm still paying for it 30 years later.

Infidelity is a gift that keeps on giving.....
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Old 10th March 2018, 8:14 PM   #20
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Most likely women would say something and men wouldn't which is common. And it all depends on the relationship you have with said person that is being cheated on. I would tell my closest friend, my family member yes for sure. Would they believe me? That would be up to them. If my sister in law knew my husband was cheating would I expect her to tell me? No because it's her brother and I respect that. But I know she would tear a strip off him and make him make a decision.
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Old 9th June 2018, 1:39 AM   #21
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Wow, your wife's friend sounds exactly like my ex's best friend. her friend went as far as allowing my ex to use her house to cheat with whoever she had brought back from the bar while on "Girls's night".


I hated her after I found out. She even went as far as to tell my ex "silly girl, haven't I taught you to delete your texts after your done" because I had caught her with texts from another guy. to this day when I see her in public I fantasize about kicking her in the throat lol


All joking aside, it really makes you feel attacked, betrayed, backstabbed and the list goes on when you find out someone else was helping your partner cheat, let alone encouraging it.


The funny thing is, I know this woman was cheating on her husband too while they were taking weekend trips together...but I never told her husband..cause well...I didn't care enough about him or her to tell them. She knows I know and could tell him at any time...that's good enough for me.
You're mad because no one told YOU yet you have NO PROBLEM doing the EXACT same thing to someone else???
Selfish and hypocritical much???
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Old 9th June 2018, 3:35 AM   #22
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My exGF's father kind of knew that his daughter had been sleeping with a married man in the past. He was wilfully ignorant and didn't pursue the matter even after the married man's wife called him up.

Imagine last year he was all chummy and smiles to me and talking to me like I was about to become his son-in-law
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Old 10th June 2018, 3:15 PM   #23
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When my ex cheated on me his friends kept their mouths shut and played stupid.....I never held any grudges against them. I was devastated it happened, but I got through it without their help.
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Old 13th June 2018, 6:56 PM   #24
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A friend of mine was working as a prostitute without her partners knowledge. Her partner worked with my partner, neither of us ever told him. I regret that, he had a right to know.
She did write a book a few years ago about her life as a working girl, and she claims in her book that "all of her partners knew about her work." I know her husband knew, but this other one never knew. She used to dress up in a nurses uniform and tell him she was working as a nurse aid.
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Old 14th June 2018, 10:45 AM   #25
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Ummmmm cheating on your spouse and choice of doing an illegal activity is a little different. I would say something about that unless it was legal in that area, then I would just leave it up to nature to take it's course. Why didn't your partner tell him??



Kool story tho.
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Old 14th June 2018, 3:36 PM   #26
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I am one of those that advocates mind your own business and stay out of it.

It's a tough position to be the one that knows. They can in trouble for not telling and often the one that tells gets turned on by both parties when they kiss and make up.
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Old 15th June 2018, 1:26 PM   #27
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Turns out that everyone knew except me, they just played with my heart,
There was a reason she refused to claim me in public from the very start,
It became even more apparent as time went on, especially after a few months on,
She couldn't even keep the dates separated claiming we did things we didn't, then gone!
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Old 16th June 2018, 3:25 AM   #28
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Anyone have friends or family who knew of your partners affair and DIDN'T tell you?

Yup.

All my husband's work colleagues knewabout his affair because he worked with the girl concerned. In fact they covered for him if I rang work to speak to him(which wasn't very often)


If he took time off work to take her out for the day they told me that he'd had to go to visit another factory site etc.

It seemed to be a culture at the factory where he worked that quite a few of the managers were $h@gg!ng girls who worked on the production lines.


When I found out he said "It's not fair. Other managers have one affair after another and get away with it, the first time I do it I get caught. "


Entitlement +++ !

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Old 16th June 2018, 3:33 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by Arieswoman View Post
Anyone have friends or family who knew of your partners affair and DIDN'T tell you?

Yup.

All my husband's work colleagues knewabout his affair because he worked with the girl concerned. In fact they covered for him if I rang work to speak to him(which wasn't very often)


If he took time off work to take her out for the day they told me that he'd had to go to visit another factory site etc.

It seemed to be a culture at the factory where he worked that quite a few of the managers were $h@gg!ng girls who worked on the production lines.


When I found out he said "It's not fair. Other managers have one affair after another and get away with it, the first time I do it I get caught. "


Entitlement +++ !

omg! what a total jerk! well you could have changed that for him and notified the other wives, and the CEO of the company.
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Old 18th June 2018, 3:44 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by Arieswoman View Post
Anyone have friends or family who knew of your partners affair and DIDN'T tell you?

Yup.

All my husband's work colleagues knewabout his affair because he worked with the girl concerned. In fact they covered for him if I rang work to speak to him(which wasn't very often)


If he took time off work to take her out for the day they told me that he'd had to go to visit another factory site etc.

It seemed to be a culture at the factory where he worked that quite a few of the managers were $h@gg!ng girls who worked on the production lines.


When I found out he said "It's not fair. Other managers have one affair after another and get away with it, the first time I do it I get caught. "


Entitlement +++ !
Good riddance, be gone with that crap...in fact,
There's dudes out there with their dignity intact,
Just walk away and never appear in their life again,
Make this decision now, and see through it to the end!
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