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Had a great first date with this guy but something feels different now


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

 
 
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Old 16th January 2018, 10:31 AM   #1
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Had a great first date with this guy but something feels different now

I apologize if this is a lil long but I really need some help. So i've been talking to this guy for the past 2 months online like just snapchatting and texting a whole lot. We're both 22 btw. Over these months we bonded alot and i started developing feelings for him. He actually started pursuing me first and he told me he really liked me and that i was very beautiful and that i meant a lot to him. He used to text me everyday and call me babe, boo etc, it was almost as though we were in a relationship. We both knew we had feelings for eachother so we decided we'd meet up for the first time and see how it goes from there. So yesterday we went on our first date together. We watched a movie. Through out the movie he was trying to find ways to hold my hand and eventually when we did he started feeling them a lot lol and my thighs too. He even told me i looked pretty. Throughout the whole date he would find subtle ways to touch me like my shoulder or waist. He even suggested to click few pictures together and he ended up uploading a pik of me and him together on snapchat and a picture of me alone on his instagram. Then we grabbed lunch together after that. It was 4pm by then. He had told me the previous night that he had to go pick his mom up by 4.30 so i was like "don't you have to go pick up your mom?" and then he said "yeah i'll go after sometime" so after like 15 minutes i brought it up again and i was like "so we'll leave now?" and he was like ok fine. He had parked his bike inside the mall so i had to go by bus and then i was like ok i'll go now and he was like no i'll walk you till the bus stand. And at the end he hugged me in the middle of the road( its a huge deal over here to display pda cause our society is super strict). later that night i felt like he was super distant. He was like "you didnt put up a single pik of us :/" and then i said "i was about to" to which he replied "no need im kidding". His classes reopened today and he was like im tired i got class tomorrow. he didnt mention anything about our date. he didnt call me babe didnt say he liked me no sweet stuff nothing. so i freaked out and texted him "is something wrong? you didnt like me did you. something doesnt feel the same between us" and the next morning he replied "omg babe nono, nothings wrong. i was nervous but it was a fun day, muaaah" . i didnt reply to him cause it felt like it was forced and then later he snapped me saying "at college boo". idk i still feel something is off and he wasnt like this before he was more sweet and romantc i dont think he liked me, what do i do i really like him alot please help :'(

Last edited by Bsbgirl; 16th January 2018 at 10:33 AM..
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Old 16th January 2018, 3:03 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bsbgirl View Post
I apologize if this is a lil long but I really need some help. So i've been talking to this guy for the past 2 months online like just snapchatting and texting a whole lot. We're both 22 btw. Over these months we bonded alot and i started developing feelings for him. He actually started pursuing me first and he told me he really liked me and that i was very beautiful and that i meant a lot to him. He used to text me everyday and call me babe, boo etc, it was almost as though we were in a relationship. We both knew we had feelings for eachother so we decided we'd meet up for the first time and see how it goes from there. So yesterday we went on our first date together. We watched a movie. Through out the movie he was trying to find ways to hold my hand and eventually when we did he started feeling them a lot lol and my thighs too. He even told me i looked pretty. Throughout the whole date he would find subtle ways to touch me like my shoulder or waist. He even suggested to click few pictures together and he ended up uploading a pik of me and him together on snapchat and a picture of me alone on his instagram. Then we grabbed lunch together after that. It was 4pm by then. He had told me the previous night that he had to go pick his mom up by 4.30 so i was like "don't you have to go pick up your mom?" and then he said "yeah i'll go after sometime" so after like 15 minutes i brought it up again and i was like "so we'll leave now?" and he was like ok fine. He had parked his bike inside the mall so i had to go by bus and then i was like ok i'll go now and he was like no i'll walk you till the bus stand. And at the end he hugged me in the middle of the road( its a huge deal over here to display pda cause our society is super strict). later that night i felt like he was super distant. He was like "you didnt put up a single pik of us :/" and then i said "i was about to" to which he replied "no need im kidding". His classes reopened today and he was like im tired i got class tomorrow. he didnt mention anything about our date. he didnt call me babe didnt say he liked me no sweet stuff nothing. so i freaked out and texted him "is something wrong? you didnt like me did you. something doesnt feel the same between us" and the next morning he replied "omg babe nono, nothings wrong. i was nervous but it was a fun day, muaaah" . i didnt reply to him cause it felt like it was forced and then later he snapped me saying "at college boo". idk i still feel something is off and he wasnt like this before he was more sweet and romantc i dont think he liked me, what do i do i really like him alot please help :'(


1. Paragraphs are your friend here...please try to use them so your First post is more easy to navigate through.

2. You really don't have to do anything...and it is because as you probably have discovered, people who are on dating apps are trying to put their best foot forward, and in the process, tend to embellish things about themselves in order to have OLD success.

And in the process, since there was a fairly extended time period of communication online and not in person, both of you developed strong feelings for the feelings that were generated through a computer screen.

What that means is that you had 2 months to build up an image of this guy that was probably great on paper, but left one or both of you underwhelmed.

Look, as I said before here on LS "Girls want a lot of things from one guy...conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls."

It rings true just as much in online situations as it does in real life.

This guy will say whatever he needs to say or act however way he thinks he needs to in order to get sex from you.
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Last edited by Space Ritual; 16th January 2018 at 3:06 PM..
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Old 16th January 2018, 4:37 PM   #3
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sounds like you got a heavy dose of love bombing, and this guy didn't get what he want.....passion, excitement or anything from you....he's a player. You didn't lose anything but a loser. Dump the chump.
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Old 26th January 2018, 7:47 AM   #4
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Oh no!

Rule Number 457: Consistency.

A guy will, of course, initially be all flirty, say a million and one things to be nice to you, as there's an aim. What a woman has to figure out is that aim. Is it to sleep with you? Probably. Does he like you? Maybe.

Alarm bells starting ringing, for me, when he stated, "you didnt put up a single pik of us." Other than the spelling of picture, no-one should emotionally nudge, push, or force you to do anything.

Be wary. The up, then down cycle, can really hurt your emotional stability. Your happiness, after all, is the most important aspect in all of this. Touching you, on a first date, is also a great big massive no. If a lady invites you to hold her hand, then so be it. Touching your thighs is a bit much. There are lines that should not be crossed unless stipulated, by flirting progressing to a more naughty nature, which you haven't done. Sure, yeah, we're living in the year 2018, but the desire to be liked, by this boy, should not mean that he gets to manipulate you into doing something that you really do not want to do.



"idk i still feel something is off and he wasnt like this before he was more sweet and romantc i dont think he liked me, what do i do i really like him alot please help :'("

Be cool. Relax that brain of yours. You're caught in a little trap that your mind, as well as heart, has created for you. YOU deserve consistency. Do not chase him. I hope he returns to being nice to you.
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