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The Strangest Situation


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 12th January 2018, 10:07 AM   #1
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Question The Strangest Situation

I don't know how I got in this mess. I don't know how to get out of it, either. I need some help!

Eight years ago, I spent two nights with this guy who was just supposed to be a random encounter. He went off travelling and I left, too, and that was that.

He's always made the effort to keep in touch, though. About five years ago, he told me he was living with someone, so I backed off. Then about two years later, I started a serious relationship and decided to end our contact.

But he wasn't having that. He contacted me relentlessly for three years. I've never known a man to work so hard. He begged me to talk to him, so I did.

Now I can't stop thinking about him. I know that neither of us will act on this while we're in other relationships.

But why can't we let each other go?!
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Old 12th January 2018, 10:24 AM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyrical View Post
I don't know how I got in this mess. I don't know how to get out of it, either. I need some help!

Eight years ago, I spent two nights with this guy who was just supposed to be a random encounter. He went off travelling and I left, too, and that was that.

He's always made the effort to keep in touch, though. About five years ago, he told me he was living with someone, so I backed off. Then about two years later, I started a serious relationship and decided to end our contact.

But he wasn't having that. He contacted me relentlessly for three years. I've never known a man to work so hard. He begged me to talk to him, so I did.

Now I can't stop thinking about him. I know that neither of us will act on this while we're in other relationships.

But why can't we let each other go?!
Boredom. Validation. Mystery.
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Old 12th January 2018, 10:40 AM   #3
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Lyrical,
There's no such word as "can't".

You are not a helpless pawn in the hands of fate, you are responsible for you life choices as we all are. You need to take responsibility for that.

This situation continues because you want it/allow it.
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Old 12th January 2018, 11:22 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
Boredom. Validation. Mystery.
^^This. But I would like to know what exactly constitutes continued conversations over the years with you two being in relationships... And do your partners know you guys are in contact?
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Old 12th January 2018, 3:35 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyrical View Post
I don't know how I got in this mess. I don't know how to get out of it, either. I need some help!

Eight years ago, I spent two nights with this guy who was just supposed to be a random encounter. He went off travelling and I left, too, and that was that.

He's always made the effort to keep in touch, though. About five years ago, he told me he was living with someone, so I backed off. Then about two years later, I started a serious relationship and decided to end our contact.

But he wasn't having that. He contacted me relentlessly for three years. I've never known a man to work so hard. He begged me to talk to him, so I did.

Now I can't stop thinking about him. I know that neither of us will act on this while we're in other relationships.

But why can't we let each other go?!


The only person you can blame is yourself. You allowed the door to remain cracked even though you are in a relationship. It's all on you.

And no you don't know if you will act in it or not...because by remaining in contact with him as long as you have, you basically never left the relationship in the first place.
Why don't you just be honest with the guy you are in a relationship and allow him to determine the direction of his own life?

It smacks of selfishness that will in the end only produce drastic and long term negative consequences for you as you progress (or regress) in your adulthood

Come on, are you really wanting for us to blow smoke up your ass and tell you this is just crazy love?

Just reread your post and you'll see that the answer is that you need to grow up.

Harsh? Perhaps, but asking for opinions here usually elicits that.
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Old 12th January 2018, 5:43 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyrical View Post
I don't know how I got in this mess. I don't know how to get out of it, either. I need some help!

Eight years ago, I spent two nights with this guy who was just supposed to be a random encounter. He went off travelling and I left, too, and that was that.

He's always made the effort to keep in touch, though. About five years ago, he told me he was living with someone, so I backed off. Then about two years later, I started a serious relationship and decided to end our contact.

But he wasn't having that. He contacted me relentlessly for three years. I've never known a man to work so hard. He begged me to talk to him, so I did.

Now I can't stop thinking about him. I know that neither of us will act on this while we're in other relationships.

But why can't we let each other go?!
No you let him go and he didn't stop.

What do you want out of this? This is not a friendship, it's probably the worst thing you get the best of both world, passive aggressive flirting with this guy and a relationship which you're already emotionally cheating on hanging on string which you won't be too worried about because you have plan B hanging around.

So essentially you're flattered that a man who was had moved in with his girlfriend worked hard to keep contact with you? That's an achievement?
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Old 12th January 2018, 6:35 PM   #7
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Give your head a shake and snap out of it. You can walk away from this very easily. All it takes is block/delete!
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