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Is this escalating?


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

 
 
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Old 1st January 2018, 5:59 PM   #1
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Is this escalating?

I hung out with my married male friend a few nights ago. He was working that night in the area and I happened to be out with a friend so I asked if I could say hi and he said sure. So we met up and he was with a fellow coworker. Had a nice convo in the car while he and his coworker drove me to train. When we got to my destination he turned his head and cheek towards me (he was driving and I was in the back seat) and I gave him a kiss on the cheek. Was this inappropriate?
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Old 1st January 2018, 6:07 PM   #2
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This depends,

1. Are you married or committed to someone else?

2. If yes, would you have done that if his wife and / or your SO was with you?

If you say no, then it was inappropriate.

Pretty simple.
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Old 1st January 2018, 6:13 PM   #3
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Do you kiss your brother the same way? Father? 'Escalating' usually turns on how you *feel* when such actions occur.

I get the driver's thing a lot. I'm like a brother to those married gals because, well, they're the wives of male friends.

If you or the driver are married/LTR, it would depend on those dynamics as to appropriateness. How well do you know the friend's wife?
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Old 1st January 2018, 6:22 PM   #4
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I'm not married, I am single. Technically he and his coworker (who was actually his boss) were not supposed to leave their 'area.' But my friend was the one who said he'd give me a ride, and that it was ok with his boss (I was just seeing him to say hi). I do have feelings for him and he knows it.
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Old 1st January 2018, 8:24 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CarbonCopy View Post
I'm not married, I am single. Technically he and his coworker (who was actually his boss) were not supposed to leave their 'area.' But my friend was the one who said he'd give me a ride, and that it was ok with his boss (I was just seeing him to say hi). I do have feelings for him and he knows it.
You were wrong to kiss.

You were wrong to get in a car with him.

You were wrong to hang out with him.

You were wrong to call him up.

You were wrong on so many levels.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 1:13 AM   #6
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I feel context is absolutely crucial here. If a kiss on a cheek is how you greet very close friends then it's perfectly fine. It's a standard greeting in some European cultures (one for each cheek!).

If it's unusual for you to do that with anyone else then there's a problem. It really depends on how you feel about this man. It might be worth clarifying with him that it was just a friendly gesture and nothing more. It never hurts to communicate to make sure you're on the right page.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CarbonCopy
I'm not married, I am single. Technically he and his coworker (who was actually his boss) were not supposed to leave their 'area.' But my friend was the one who said he'd give me a ride, and that it was ok with his boss (I was just seeing him to say hi). I do have feelings for him and he knows it.
EDIT: Hold your horses... now this is entering dangerous territory. Perhaps it's not a good idea to do that again, but you can't change the past. I still think you need to clarify what that meant... and if it's escalating in your mind then you might have to start keeping your distance, I'm afraid.

Last edited by snowboy91; 2nd January 2018 at 1:17 AM.. Reason: Saw second post...
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Old 2nd January 2018, 1:28 AM   #7
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Even though you have feelings for this guy, please imagine for a moment exactly what good is going to come if you pursue him.

That being said, if he KNOWS you have feelings for him, he is not only playing with fire, but showing YOU who HE is.

If a guy is going to have an affair with someone who's to say he'd have an affair on you if you 2 got together?

I just think this is wrought with problems you have not even considered.

please weigh the risk/reward ration.....because I've been around here long enough to know that these things never are seamless and happy go lucky undertakings.
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