LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Dating > Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

I cheated and I feel strange.


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

Like Tree13Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 25th December 2017, 3:46 PM   #1
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Downtown
Posts: 16
I cheated and I feel strange.

Iíve been in a relationship for over two months. We have been arguing a lot. The main reasons are:
- She is always terrified of arguing because she thinks couples should forget heir issues. I believe one should air what is causing a problem in a respectful manner.
- I am a people person and I love talking. Sheís very quiet with me and she often says I talk too much but when she is with her friends she is very talkative.
- I told her I feel jealous of her male best friend because he always wants to hang out with her. When they are together their body proximity is way too close. They look like they are a couple. I told her that I was not comfortable and her answer to this was that she believe I think she is an easy woman. I told her I just feel jealous but what is upsetting me is thatís she wonít even listen to what I have to say. My friends observed their interactions in a gathering we had and they agreed with me. They say they are standing way too close to each other.
When I told her this she said that my friends and I are wrong.
- I confronted her friend and told her what I felt and he said he would see her when Iím not around.
- I felt lonely, misunderstood and in pain. She wonít listen to me even though Iíve done my best to control my feelings but I was at a low point. She wonít talk to me and she just says Iím too jealous and that I want to control her. She says Iím not the man I was.
- I tried to explain that I just didnít feel comfortable that they were so closed to each other but she just keeps saying that Iím insulting her for saying that.

I felt pretty bad and I ended up having oral sex with another woman.

This is what happened. I still love her but I think she wonít ever listen to me or care about my feelings. I have truly done my best to make her happy.
memo15mx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th December 2017, 4:03 PM   #2
Established Member
 
Space Ritual's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Chicago
Posts: 2,639
Quote:
Originally Posted by memo15mx View Post
I’ve been in a relationship for over two months. We have been arguing a lot. The main reasons are:
- She is always terrified of arguing because she thinks couples should forget heir issues. I believe one should air what is causing a problem in a respectful manner.
- I am a people person and I love talking. She’s very quiet with me and she often says I talk too much but when she is with her friends she is very talkative.
- I told her I feel jealous of her male best friend because he always wants to hang out with her. When they are together their body proximity is way too close. They look like they are a couple. I told her that I was not comfortable and her answer to this was that she believe I think she is an easy woman. I told her I just feel jealous but what is upsetting me is that’s she won’t even listen to what I have to say. My friends observed their interactions in a gathering we had and they agreed with me. They say they are standing way too close to each other.
When I told her this she said that my friends and I are wrong.
- I confronted her friend and told her what I felt and he said he would see her when I’m not around.
- I felt lonely, misunderstood and in pain. She won’t listen to me even though I’ve done my best to control my feelings but I was at a low point. She won’t talk to me and she just says I’m too jealous and that I want to control her. She says I’m not the man I was.
- I tried to explain that I just didn’t feel comfortable that they were so closed to each other but she just keeps saying that I’m insulting her for saying that.

I felt pretty bad and I ended up having oral sex with another woman.

This is what happened. I still love her but I think she won’t ever listen to me or care about my feelings. I have truly done my best to make her happy.
So her quietness and her refusal to accede to all your demands DROVE you to get a BJ from somebody else.

I'm not saying she has some no culpability issues in how you may feel, but placing all the blame squarely on her shoulders for why you whipped your Penis out for some other girl to taste is a bit far fetched, kid.

You did your best...not to make her happy but to take advantage of a situation because you can't break up with the someone who isn't meeting your needs.

Aw poor baby...

Dude did your parents raise you like this? Grow up, do the right thing and tell her what you did.

It is one thing to act with resolve when you are not having your needs met in a 2 month relationship...it is quite another to act in a cheating fashion in 2 months.

This all says little about how she really is and more about what kind of child you are...and you ARE acting like a child.

Grow up, leave the poor girl alone and go get some life experience how to treat people you say you love, so the next person you date doesn't pay you back in your own coin by blowing one of your friends when her needs aren't being met after 2 months.

I've had Hemorrhoids that lasted longer than you were able to be faithful, which is why I am the Resident Loveshack Pain In The Ass. If you think my delivery was a bit caustic, go live a little life....you'll
see it was tame by what Life has to offer you.

Good Luck
__________________
I promise henceforth, to be nice....until the time that I'm not so nice again. Then I'll be nice again for a brief period of time.
Space Ritual is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th December 2017, 4:11 PM   #3
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Downtown
Posts: 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Space Ritual View Post
So her quietness and her refusal to accede to all your demands DROVE you to get a BJ from somebody else.

I'm not saying she has some no culpability issues in how you may feel, but placing all the blame squarely on her shoulders for why you whipped your Penis out for some other girl to taste is a bit far fetched, kid.

You did your best...not to make her happy but to take advantage of a situation because you can't break up with the someone who isn't meeting your needs.

Aw poor baby...

Dude did your parents raise you like this? Grow up, do the right thing and tell her what you did.

It is one thing to act with resolve when you are not having your needs met in a 2 month relationship...it is quite another to act in a cheating fashion in 2 months.

This all says little about how she really is and more about what kind of child you are...and you ARE acting like a child.

Grow up, leave the poor girl alone and go get some life experience how to treat people you say you love, so the next person you date doesn't pay you back in your own coin by blowing one of your friends when her needs aren't being met after 2 months.

I've had Hemorrhoids that lasted longer than you were able to be faithful, which is why I am the Resident Loveshack Pain In The Ass. If you think my delivery was a bit caustic, go live a little life....you'll
see it was tame by what Life has to offer you.

Good Luck
I get the message. And I am not looking to justify myself. I am venting and feeling guilty. You are right and I appreciate your words. I failed her and myself.

And you arenít a pain in the ass. Thank you.
memo15mx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th December 2017, 4:49 PM   #4
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,003
Do you even realize how out of balance you are? You don't want to let her have a male friend - why? So she might give him a BJ when you are at work? Seriously? At this point, you should be on you knees grateful that she has a male friend she isn't having sex with. But, I think that might change when she eventually finds out where you have been putting little memo15 for safekeeping - and she will find out. At this point your little secret is known by you, the OW and whoever she decides to tell. That's the trouble with the game you are playing. The rules keep changing and the number of players eventually gets larger... but the only advice I can offer to you is be a man of integrity. You know what you have to do, and yes, it is going to hurt both of you a lot...
Poutrew is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th December 2017, 9:43 PM   #5
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Depends on the day
Posts: 1,009
Quote:
Originally Posted by memo15mx View Post
I get the message. And I am not looking to justify myself. I am venting and feeling guilty. You are right and I appreciate your words. I failed her and myself.

And you arenít a pain in the ass. Thank you.
What you did was completely wrong.

On the other hand this girl is not a good match for you. A lot of time these friendships cross the line.

Ask her one question if the two of you see each other again. See if her and her best friend have ever slept together.

Anyway I think this relationship is dead.
usa1ah is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th December 2017, 10:59 PM   #6
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Downtown
Posts: 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by usa1ah View Post
What you did was completely wrong.

On the other hand this girl is not a good match for you. A lot of time these friendships cross the line.

Ask her one question if the two of you see each other again. See if her and her best friend have ever slept together.

Anyway I think this relationship is dead.
I asked but she just gets angry and avoids the question.
memo15mx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th December 2017, 10:59 PM   #7
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 5,145
I wouldn't listen to you or care about your feelings either, you had oral sex with another woman. I would dump you faster than you know.

Seriously, my friend. Two months. And you had sex with another woman.

Two months and you've had some major disagreements. Not normal in a new relationship. You are not compatable.

You have a lot to learn about relationships and how to treat a woman with respect.

Last edited by BaileyB; 25th December 2017 at 11:10 PM..
BaileyB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th December 2017, 11:22 PM   #8
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 5,145
I mean, it seems pretty ironic that you are jealous and upset about her friendship with another man when you were the person who cheated. Is it not?
BaileyB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th December 2017, 4:08 AM   #9
Established Member
 
Darren Steez's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,603
Sometimes two people are just not compatible.

She's got a male pal she's close to and you're not comfortable with it. Some people are and some arent. Thing is you made your point she made a counterpoint and this relationship will continue. As a man at that point if you feel that strongly about it you end things and go your way. You've taken the niceguy route and used your gf's resolve not to choose you over her friend as a justification to get your own back by cheating.

Now you're here. A cheat while you're still in the same position with her. Logically how does this end? Is there a future for you two if there's lying, infedility on your part?
Darren Steez is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th December 2017, 4:56 AM   #10
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Depends on the day
Posts: 1,009
Quote:
Originally Posted by BaileyB View Post
I wouldn't listen to you or care about your feelings either, you had oral sex with another woman. I would dump you faster than you know.

Seriously, my friend. Two months. And you had sex with another woman.

Two months and you've had some major disagreements. Not normal in a new relationship. You are not compatable.

You have a lot to learn about relationships and how to treat a woman with respect.
I donít think she knows about the oral sex.
usa1ah is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th December 2017, 5:09 AM   #11
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: 8,885 feet above sea level
Posts: 2,559
This is the oddest post. It is like relationship stuff, relationship stuff, relationship stuff, hey I banged a flight attendant and I feel kind of bad about it.

The end of the story has really nothing to do with the start in terms of rightness or wrongness. You cheated after being together for 60 days. The end. Pretty sure you should just move on and work on yourself and your fidelity.
__________________
2014 No Contact Guide
Mrin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th December 2017, 8:40 AM   #12
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 10,535
You're both immature, OP.

It's time to end this. You are seriously incompatible if you're fighting at just 2 months in, and you are not ready for commitment if your response is to cheat.
ExpatInItaly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th December 2017, 10:43 AM   #13
Established Member
 
smackie9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Surrey BC Canada
Posts: 13,103
It's pretty obvious you two are not compatibly....so stop trying to swim against the current and let go.

Next time when you feel helpless in a relationship....breakup.
__________________

You are a fool if you believe that having each others passwords = trust.
smackie9 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th December 2017, 11:29 AM   #14
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 6,364
Quote:
Originally Posted by usa1ah View Post
What you did was completely wrong.

On the other hand this girl is not a good match for you. A lot of time these friendships cross the line.

Ask her one question if the two of you see each other again. See if her and her best friend have ever slept together.

Anyway I think this relationship is dead.
Quote:
Originally Posted by memo15mx View Post
I asked but she just gets angry and avoids the question.
You were wrong to cheat.

BUT:

Her refusal to answer the question is her avoiding telling
you the lie that she did not sleep with him.

From her actions she is in an EA with this OM at the minimum.
Dump her.
road is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Strange Feelings Dating After Being Cheated On Logo Dating 4 13th December 2016 6:43 PM
Feel like I'm at a strange point LME Breaks and Breaking Up 3 27th September 2013 8:57 PM
Anyone feel strange because they are actually coping? mollers Coping 16 17th June 2008 1:45 PM
I feel so strange...happy maybe... MotherGooze Coping 5 1st February 2007 12:21 PM
Back with ex but I feel strange ShadowU12345 Coping 2 11th October 2006 5:31 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:10 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.