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Is a Gut Feeling Ever Wrong?


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 15th December 2017, 12:57 PM   #1
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Is a Gut Feeling Ever Wrong?

Is a Gut Feeling Ever Wrong?

Long story short, I consider myself preaty damaged from a previous relationship of 5 years that really had me thinking I was the crazy one. Luckily I made it out alive. I was blindsided bad with the string of men during the entire relationship because I was completly blind and stupid.

So Im about 3 months into a new relationship that is drastically different...for the better. But a couple of things have happend during this time that has really given me a bad heart sinking gut feeling. I have no solid reason to suspect anything though and dont know what to do. I think its just all from my past relationship but cant be certain.

Anyone have any advice?

have really brought back a lot
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Old 15th December 2017, 1:13 PM   #2
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But a couple of things have happend during this time that has really given me a bad heart sinking gut feeling

What "things" have happened?
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Old 15th December 2017, 2:38 PM   #3
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If your gut has traditionally been accurate, go with it. But when you know you are damaged, like now, only use the gut feeling as one piece of evidence, a reason to dig deeper perhaps but maybe not make the decision about that alone. If it's supported by objective evidence, go with it.
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Old 15th December 2017, 2:46 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sattech200 View Post
Is a Gut Feeling Ever Wrong?

Long story short, I consider myself preaty damaged from a previous relationship of 5 years that really had me thinking I was the crazy one. Luckily I made it out alive. I was blindsided bad with the string of men during the entire relationship because I was completly blind and stupid.

So Im about 3 months into a new relationship that is drastically different...for the better. But a couple of things have happend during this time that has really given me a bad heart sinking gut feeling. I have no solid reason to suspect anything though and dont know what to do. I think its just all from my past relationship but cant be certain.

Anyone have any advice?

have really brought back a lot
Is your 'gut feeling' ever wrong? Of course it is. No one has spidey senses that is accurate 100% of the time. When things fall apart in opposition to our own expectations, we'll all claim that the signs were not there or we were blind-sighted. People come to this forum b/c they have failed in a relationship or two or more. Where was the 'gut feeling' then? We learn to look out for things based on past experiences, but there's nothing magical or mystically intuitive about that. One of the things that often happens, is that we tend to read TOO MUCH into things at times. You have no evidence that your feelings are justified, but you seem to attribute that to your "gut feelings." The question now is whether your baseless unease is consistent with reality or not.

If you have concerns, communicate them and earnestly find out what is really happening.
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Old 15th December 2017, 5:22 PM   #5
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Is your 'gut feeling' ever wrong? Of course it is. No one has spidey senses that is accurate 100% of the time. When things fall apart in opposition to our own expectations, we'll all claim that the signs were not there or we were blind-sighted. People come to this forum b/c they have failed in a relationship or two or more. Where was the 'gut feeling' then? We learn to look out for things based on past experiences, but there's nothing magical or mystically intuitive about that. One of the things that often happens, is that we tend to read TOO MUCH into things at times. You have no evidence that your feelings are justified, but you seem to attribute that to your "gut feelings." The question now is whether your baseless unease is consistent with reality or not.
I'm still trying to sort a lot of this out and just realized something else.... another way I could put it might be: "Am I ready to trust someone yet? Will I ever be able to fully trust someone again?" Right now the feelings absolutely suck. I DEFINITELY know that I read way too much into things...but again thats the result from the experiences that i've been through.

I think deep down inside I legitimately know that it's my own paranoia that's messing with me but I'm not sure what to do with it or how to handle it. I'm not sure I even want to bring something like this up especially if I'm way off base with it.

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If you have concerns, communicate them and earnestly find out what is really happening.
I think this is probably one of the better suggestions that needs to happen. I absolutely SUCK when it comes to communication to begin with. I'm just not sure it's even appropriate to do so at this point.

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Originally Posted by Redhead14 View Post
But a couple of things have happened during this time that has really given me a bad heart sinking gut feeling

What "things" have happened?
I really hate to give the details publically at this point. Umm I'll try to come up with a few examples.
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Old 15th December 2017, 6:12 PM   #6
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Gut feelings should be heeded, but should be checked out rationally, if possible. If rational examination doesn't validate the feeling - but you still feel it - then act on the feeling. Not everything can be verified one way or the other, and then you trust your gut.
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Old 15th December 2017, 7:46 PM   #7
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I donít think I can add much to donnavain. I think it depends on the person. I donít go with my gut because Iím not an intuitive person, but if it has worked for you in the past you can value that feeling more. Keep in mind, no matter which relationship youíre talking about, this man needs to treasure you for who you are. If he doesnít, then is there a reason to continue in it? Iím sorry for your past problems and hope this is a better time for you. Best wishes.
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Old 15th December 2017, 8:34 PM   #8
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No no no, your gut is never wrong! If it senses something's off, then something's off. The problem is, it can't detect WHAT is wrong - just that something IS wrong. That's where (like the others said) your rational mind has to go to work. You have to play detective.

But you should never ignore your gut. It's built-in to us for a reason. It's like a signal to be alert, and be cautious. Eyes wide open.
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Old 15th December 2017, 8:44 PM   #9
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You need to investigate your gut feeling and have two perspectives...it could be from past bad experiences that is coloring your instinct ...or there could be something wrong.....because intuition is a gift ....you need to hone its use.....to become sure of your gut....


investigate and try and stay neutral........and always follow your instinctual.... eyes open and your mind and heart as well... nothing shut out or concrete in your mind until proven and validated..............use your "gut"....its a gift.......its your third eye trying to work....so investigate and know whatever is wrong...you can deal with it...you will survive anything bad if you ever need to...which may or may not be as bad as you feel.....deb
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Old 15th December 2017, 11:21 PM   #10
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Communication is key. You need to learn to talk out how you feel. You will never have a successful relationship if you can talk things through.

Does your current partner know about your past? If not why?

If she did know then she could help you get past the problems you have with trust. If she doesn’t know, then she will definitely feel that you are not letting her get to close and think it’s because of different reasons. Like you don’t really care for her.

As to fully trusting someone, it will take time and help from the one you are with.
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Old 15th December 2017, 11:24 PM   #11
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Maybe the question isn't "is my gut feeling wrong", but "why am I having this gut feeling in the first place" ?

If you look at the latter question, you may not be very happy with the conclusion but i'm sure whatever your gut is telling you matters for a reason.
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Old 18th December 2017, 10:23 AM   #12
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Rarely is your gut feeling wrong ,i had the same feeling a while back with my ex wife ,i caught her cheating and later found out it wasnt the first time . Trust your gut but verify
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Old 18th December 2017, 10:01 PM   #13
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I wouldn't trust your gut feelings because your gut feelings have a bad track record. How come it didn't prevent you from being blindsided before?

Some people are more intuitive than others. I don't think you are very intuitive. But that's fine. Maybe you are more analytical. What you need is trust, not crystal ball cos that doesn't exist.
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Old 18th December 2017, 11:58 PM   #14
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No. I have trust issues but it's still never wrong. It can be wrong in the sense that I can't accurately guess all the details but whenever I felt something was off, there was something that was really off.
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Old 19th December 2017, 3:36 AM   #15
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Let me ask you this "When you express your concerns, is she soft with you? Is she trying to show you that she loves you very much and shwong empathy? Or does she get defensive?
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