My Guy Friend's Girlfriend is STALKING ME!

[Lovemechickentender]

I've been friends with a guy from work for almost 4 years. We have been attracted to each other since the moment we met but I found out--through online stalking--that he had a girlfriend. After that, it's been strictly platonic (although I have very deep feelings for him).

 

We talk on the phone for hours, hang out, confide very personal stuff with each other.

 

Over time, I've become his closest female friend. His guy friends know me. His family has met me. He has never brought up his girlfriend and honestly, I don't even know if they're still together.

 

In the past 2 months, this woman has been stalking me. She follows me on Twitter and Instagram and has requested me on LinkedIn MULTIPLE times. I've never met this woman. I am shocked she even knows me?

 

What should I do? Do I confront him or her (or both)?

 

Honestly, I want him... But id never want to start a relationship with drama...

[h0000]

Do you want your BF to do this with another woman while with you? If you ask me, it's not decent behavior.

 

 

Think about it. Then decide if you really want a man like this.

[bubbaganoosh]

You need to ask him if he's seeing anyone and get a straight answer. If he says no then let him know that he should tell that girl that's stalking you.

 

All in all, I would walk away, he doesn't seem like he's on the level.

[basil67]

Many would argue that it's inappropriate for him to have a female best friend who's got feelings for him while he's in a relationship.

 

She's stalking you because she knows that you want him. She doesn't trust you.

[CarrieT]

it's been strictly platonic (although I have very deep feelings for him).

This right here is a contradiction. You cannot have a platonic relationship with someone of the opposite sex when there are deep feelings involved...

 

We talk on the phone for hours, hang out, confide very personal stuff with each other.

Is he sharing things about his relationship with you?

 

In the past 2 months, this woman has been stalking me. She follows me on Twitter and Instagram and has requested me on LinkedIn MULTIPLE times. I've never met this woman. I am shocked she even knows me?

So why are you such close friends with someone and never met his partner after FOUR YEARS of knowing him?

 

He has never brought up his girlfriend and honestly, I don't even know if they're still together.

If you two are so intimate, why don't you ask him?

 

What should I do? Do I confront him or her (or both)?

Yes, both.

 

Honestly, I want him... But id never want to start a relationship with drama...

Ummmm... Sorry - but the boat sailed on that one. You ARE in a relationship based on drama. It just doesn't happen to involve sex.

[ExpatInItaly]

You're his closest female friend and yet you had no idea he has/had a girlfriend?

 

That doesn't make a lot of sense. You believe you two share a lot, but evidently you don't.

[jen1447]

Aside from the close-friend-who-doesn't-know-basic-life-details oddity, I'm not sure requesting you on LinkedIn and following your Instagram is really stalking.

[PegNosePete]

We talk on the phone for hours, hang out, confide very personal stuff with each other.

You know this fits the dictionary definition of "emotional affair" very closely.

 

In the past 2 months, this woman has been stalking me.

I don't blame her. If she came here with her side of the story -- "I suspect my husband is having an emotional affair with a woman from work" -- then we'd probably advise her to investigate fully. It's really not surprising she is keeping a close eye on you; she feels your relationship with her partner is inappropriate. And she is right, it is.

 

But id never want to start a relationship with drama...

Then why are you getting yourself involved in an emotional affair? Find someone who is single.

[smackie9]

I've been friends with a guy from work for almost 4 years. We have been attracted to each other since the moment we met but I found out--through online stalking--that he had a girlfriend. After that, it's been strictly platonic (although I have very deep feelings for him).

 

We talk on the phone for hours, hang out, confide very personal stuff with each other.

 

Over time, I've become his closest female friend. His guy friends know me. His family has met me. He has never brought up his girlfriend and honestly, I don't even know if they're still together.

 

In the past 2 months, this woman has been stalking me. She follows me on Twitter and Instagram and has requested me on LinkedIn MULTIPLE times. I've never met this woman. I am shocked she even knows me?

 

What should I do? Do I confront him or her (or both)?

 

Honestly, I want him... But id never want to start a relationship with drama...

 

 

You want this resolved, ask him straight out if he has a GF and why he has never mentioned her.

 

 

Sorry to say this but you have your head so far up your @$$ to not be able to see that this guy has been cheating on his GF with you emotionally for the last 4 years. The big red flag here is he kept his GF a secret, that makes him a weasel. Yes what he has been doing with you IS wrong. It would be foolish of you to seek out a relationship with him because chances are once he gets bored or you, he will get emotionally involved with another girl behind your back talking at all hours of the night, confiding in each other, hanging out one on one. Don't think for a minute you are so special to him, that he would never do such a thing to you. Oh hell ya he will....this is his MO. It's very possible he has other "very close" GFs that of course he would never mention, just like his GF.

 

You are wasting your time with this guy. 4 years is a pretty long time to be holding your breath for someone to come around. I hope you have been trying to meet other men, and seek out a relationship with someone else.