drowsyoryx Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 (edited) So a few days ago, I was drinking with friends and my boyfriend and friend went off into another room to talk. I didn't think much of it, as this particular friend and my boyfriend had had issues in the past that they'd just recently resolved, so I figured that their conversation just had to do with that. Yesterday this friend came to me and told me what really happened, the entire truth of what went down. They were both very intoxicated, and they both realized right after it happened that it was wrong. I confronted my boyfriend about it directly after my friend confessed. He seemed genuinely guilty and apologetic about his actions, and upset that he wasn't the one to tell me. We love each other a lot and I know he wouldn't ever intentionally hurt me, but naturally I can't help but feel betrayed. My boyfriend and friend don't have any romantic feelings for each other, this I am 99% certain of, and had one or both of them been sober, this wouldn't have even occurred. I know that trust between me and my boyfriend and me and my friend can be rebuilt over time, so do I forgive the both of them eventually and move forward, or is there anything else I should put into consideration here? Edited October 7, 2015 by drowsyoryx Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 You dump him & end the friendship but you do forgive them because carrying hate around will destroy you. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 they both realized right after it happened that it was wrong. The correct time to realize that it's wrong is before it happened! Preferably long before! We love each other a lot and I know he wouldn't ever intentionally hurt me Sorry to say, but people who love each other do not kiss their friends. Even when drunk. Alcohol is not an excuse. In fact quite the opposite. Alcohol has revealed that he is untrustworthy. I would not accept this behaviour. If this happened to me I would dump the boyfriend and never speak to the friend again. Friends do not do that to friends! Forgiveness does not mean taking someone back. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 I understand people make mistakes. Some people find it unforgivable, some it's just a kiss no big deal. There is no right or wrong here, just choice. You don't have to make a decision now because you are still processing what happened. Take a time out from your BF and friend to sort out your feelings. Go no contact for about a week, and see how you feel then. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 For me, this would be a deal-breaker. Not only did he betray your trust, he did so with a friend. I wouldn't be able to look past something like that. And he didn't confess; you needed to confront him. Sorry, but for me personally, this would warrant a break-up. Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 This would be a dealbreaker for me. I'd dump the boyfriend AND the friend because they BOTH betrayed me. Alcohol is not an excuse. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that there was already an attraction there and alcohol just made it easier to act on it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Clockwork Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 You don't kiss someone you aren't attracted to. Or at least not someone you don't want to. I am interested in knowing what this past between them is all about. You said they had some "issues in the past" that they had both just resolved. Was this with each other? Or was it separate but they had similar experiences? Either way, it isn't like there is anything wrong with them confiding in each other, so long as you know. But I'd be really interested in knowing how it ended up in a kiss. Link to post Share on other sites
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