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Boyfriend relationship with cousin.

Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 4th October 2015, 12:29 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by FreyaT View Post
I found out by accident when I was leaving for work and a message flashed up see you at 12 looking forward to it. I confronted him about it, and he said he should have told me he was sorry.
Originally Posted by FreyaT View Post
He told me he thought she was his soul mate, but she ended things and went off the rails a bit. He just basically turned it around on me, saying he doesn't ask about who I have slept with etc, as it is the past and it's now that counts.
Tell him that the big difference is that while your ex-lovers are truly in the past, since you are no longer seeing or talking to them, his ex-lover that that "he thought she was his soul mate" is still very much in his life, to the point where he is secretly seeing her behind your back. Also, tell him that as long as his ex-lover is in his "now" and not his past, you have every right ask and talk about her.

Look the whole "she is family so it is OK for me to see her" thing, is based on the premise that most people in this country do not have romantic relationships with family members. Since he has been romantically involved with her, that premise does not apply, and it was and is dishonest for him to claim that it does. If you do not just dump him right now, you need to demand that he treat her the same way that you treat your ex-lovers. She needs to be out of his life and he must no longer see her or be in contact with her. Family rules only applies to family members you have not been in a romantic relationship with.
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Old 6th October 2015, 2:45 AM   #17
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Not that this helps at all, but cousin flings are more common than you'd think. My wife was 20 and ran into an older and estranged cousin at a bar. Didn't think anything of it, went back to his house and it was the first time she ever tried pot. Next thing you know she's out like a light and wakes up the next morning in bed with him, naked. Yeah, dumb decisions on her part, but it just goes to show you that especially men can long after their cousins like that. Her situation of course was before we met and to be honest, this cousin is out of the country now and she never saw him anyway.

But it happens. I was 25 and my cousin was 18 and we were both single and I was pretty close to making a pass at her to be honest. I had just gotten out of a relationship and all of the sudden this cousin I grew up with was a young woman now and I resisted the urge to hit on her. She was at my house just hanging out (she probably wouldn't have even thought anything of it) and to be honest I am glad I never did. It was just a weak moment.

But this guy of yours is going beyond that. They actually had a relationship, not even just sex that they regret. There is obviously something deep there and I would run for the hills. Not just because it is his cousin, but because he is interested in another woman that he was intimate with already.
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