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my fiance past affair.


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 26th September 2015, 1:21 PM   #16
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I am a woman. Not your bro.


I can understand that you are upset because there was this whole other relationship before you that you did not know about. My 1st Q is, did you previously ask her about prior relationships? If not, she had no obligation to volunteer info to you. If you asked & she lied, that is a different story


Since you are a virgin by your choice, if you cannot accept that she is not a virgin, don't marry her. It's really as simple as that.
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Old 26th September 2015, 1:34 PM   #17
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bro between 2 year we use to see each other 5 time every time for couple of weeks. we know each other for 4 year but in between never talk to much and we both unknown to each other personly. and the third person used to tell the hole story he told me both went alone together but my fiance toll me they are not alone and some of her friends(girl) also went with her and nothing happen between them ever she told me they are in different room in that trip. so it's not clear they did it or not. call me crazy but I'm still a virgin not by chance but by my choice. it was big deal for me. when I found she was in a serious relationship it's really heart me and now I find very difficult to accept this
I had typed a whole long question and comment, but I highlighted one word to correct it, the whole lot of my post text inadvertently highlighted too and the whole post disappeared.

I'm not going to bother trying to repeat it all.

This forum is full of posts from insecure, jealous men, who feel they have some proprietorial right to judge, evaluate and condemn their girlfriends for daring to be in love with someone else before them.
The reason women lie about their past, is because they know their boyfriends can't accept the truth, and they therefore want to spare their sensitive, fragile male ego-feelings.

But of course, if they lie, and get found out (because the guy will JUST NOT LEAVE IT ALONE!!) then they're liars/cheaters and not worth staying with.

Your fiancée is in a lose-lose situation.

The guy gets no blame for being a judgemental critical persistent pushy bully.

OP: you're a virgin. That was your choice.
You found out from an interfering? meddling? well-meaning? sympathetic? third party that she had a past, with another guy.
She wanted to let the past stay where it was.
In the past.
You are who matters to her now.
But Oh no.
That's not good enough for you.

Well, what do you expect her to do?
She can't go back in time to change anything.
So now, this is YOUR problem.
And if you're going to let YOUR problem, stand in the way of YOUR happiness, then more fool you.

I suggest thst if you can't live with this, you release her from any obligation to you and let her find someone better, more experienced and less judgemental than you.

I think you should date again, and specifically state you are looking for a virgin with no past.

Good luck with that.

Last edited by TaraMaiden2; 26th September 2015 at 1:36 PM..
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Old 26th September 2015, 1:50 PM   #18
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sorry I didn't know you are a women I'm really sorry for that
and obesely I asked her starting only but she told me very loud and clear I have no affair in my life ever.
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Old 26th September 2015, 1:59 PM   #19
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sorry I didn't know you are a women I'm really sorry for that
and obesely I asked her starting only but she told me very loud and clear I have no affair in my life ever.

Could it be a language thing? "Affair" means that something was outside of a relationship, cheating. I see her interactions with the prior guy as a relationship, not an affair but some people do call those love affairs. It can be confusing. If in her defense she thought you were asking if she was unfaithful, then her denials are the truth. If you were asking if she so much as dated another, then her silence is her hiding something & the fact that she was cagey when confronted with the truth doesn't help.


At this point even though you know she was previously engaged to another man & she traveled with him, do you know that she is not a virgin? I mean it sounds like she is not but it is possible that they traveled & stayed in separate rooms, unlikely but possible.
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Old 26th September 2015, 4:14 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by sumit View Post
bro between 2 year we use to see each other 5 time every time for couple of weeks. we know each other for 4 year but in between never talk to much and we both unknown to each other personly. and the third person used to tell the hole story he told me both went alone together but my fiance toll me they are not alone and some of her friends(girl) also went with her and nothing happen between them ever she told me they are in different room in that trip. so it's not clear they did it or not. call me crazy but I'm still a virgin not by chance but by my choice. it was big deal for me. when I found she was in a serious relationship it's really heart me and now I find very difficult to accept this
Western civilization it is normal to date people for years and not get engaged.


It is normal to date for years and get engaged.


Further normal for people that are engaged and then decide to break up and not get married.


For better to not get married then do it and wind up divorced years after.


I do not see your problem? Is your GF not being a virgin a deal breaker then say so. It appears not on can the girl you marry must be a virgin she must also never have had a BF or go out on any dates.
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Old 26th September 2015, 9:54 PM   #21
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It's because I've made posts showing I do not think it is cool to lie to people or cheat on them. To some people that translates to "you must hate everything about women" or "you must hate all women".

I have never once posted bashing anyone for doing anything other then cheating or lying. Yet people will act like I'm out saying I don't like certain women because of the way they tie their shoes or the way they walk. It's not even about women, I've called out males who cheat and lie as well.
I despise lying, cheating, hurting, being deceitful and sneaky and using subterfuge as well.

I'll have to go look for all those posts to males...I must have missed them.

I hate when people make a bad choice or choices. The difference is I actually people people can change and be redeemed. You do not.

I believe also that the only cheater it is actually logical for me to be angry with and be determined to....exact upon....is someone who cheated on ME.
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Old 28th September 2015, 4:06 AM   #22
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It's her past, you have to accept it. Everyone has a past, some talk about, some don't like to talk about it. You feel she loves you very much then go ahead with her.
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Old 28th September 2015, 4:58 AM   #23
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thank you so much I know she loves me and I can see that she really felling guit to not telling me at first place and I love so much my fiance i can't even see my future without her
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