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Hubby's Facebook friend posted risque photo


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 14th July 2014, 1:52 PM   #1
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Hubby's Facebook friend posted risque photo

General thoughts and input desired:

I trust my husband very much, and this isn't a question of whether he's done anything wrong. (I don't think he has.) He's never given me reason not to trust him and makes me feel very important, special, loved, etc. pretty much every day through his words and actions.

However, we were sitting next to each other on the couch this weekend, and he was scrolling through his Facebook on his phone. He often lets me look with him and never has anything to "hide". But one of his friends had posted a photo of herself from her waist to her neck nude, with just her arm covering her boobs (more like just covering the nipple areas).

He obviously can't control what other people post to their Facebook profiles, but it did make me feel awkward. I think what irked me was that he has a female Facebook friend who would post such a picture to begin with. To his credit, I think she may be someone he went to high school with and never talks to, and he immediately said "Yours are better!" (Haha)

Just curious what everyone thinks about this type of situation. I explained to him it just made me feel awkward, but that I know he hasn't done anything wrong. I don't really know if there is a "solution" to be found, but it's just one of those ridiculous situations that comes up in life due to silly social media nowadays. And I'm interested what others think.
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Old 14th July 2014, 2:34 PM   #2
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I'm not a fan of FB or Social Media very much because I always see people rise to their level of emotional and intellectual incompetence about 1 minute after looking at a newsfeed.....Seems to be a constant exercise in people attempting to convince themselves and each their their life is not mundane.

That being said, if it bugs you that it happened, there is certainly nothing wrong about how you feel.

I think at the very least you can have some small sense of relief that you two look at FB together. I am sure you have read enough around here to know how many people attempt to hide stuff form their spouse or S.O. on Social Media when they are acting in a nefarious manner.

You told your hubby it bothered you...what was his reaction and what actions were taken by him afterward?
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Old 14th July 2014, 3:04 PM   #3
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This may sound like a 'funny' question, but do you have a problem with him watching pornography?
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Old 14th July 2014, 3:07 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by Space Ritual View Post
You told your hubby it bothered you...what was his reaction and what actions were taken by him afterward?
At first he was a little frustrated because he also felt like he'd done nothing wrong and that I was upset with him. After I explained I wasn't upset with HIM, he said he was sorry it had upset me but that he doesn't want anyone other than me and hopes that I always remember that.

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Originally Posted by Javelin View Post
This may sound like a 'funny' question, but do you have a problem with him watching pornography?
I don't, as long as it doesn't become an addiction. We have a great sex life, so if he uses that once in awhile to stimulate himself, I don't mind. I did mention to him that the reason this photo bothered me was that it was someone he knew, not just "random porn slut". Don't know if that makes any sense to anyone but me.
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Old 14th July 2014, 3:12 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by atlg8r View Post
I don't, as long as it doesn't become an addiction. We have a great sex life, so if he uses that once in awhile to stimulate himself, I don't mind. I did mention to him that the reason this photo bothered me was that it was someone he knew, not just "random porn slut". Don't know if that makes any sense to anyone but me.
Is she local? If not and they're only ever going to chat over Facebook, then she may as well be a pornstar.

Let me try an ease the awkwardness a little as well. How do you think he'd feel if a guy posted a crotch shot of his length/girth only covering up the tip? And your response was, ' don't worry honey - your are MUCH bigger!' Do you think such an event would go over well with him?

Last edited by Javelin; 14th July 2014 at 3:14 PM..
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Old 14th July 2014, 3:15 PM   #6
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I Q the maturity of his friend. I agree it would be awkward but exactly what did your husband do wrong? Did you expect him to immediately unfriend her & jump off the couch denouncing her for all eternity?
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Old 14th July 2014, 3:18 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by Javelin View Post
Is she local? If not and they're only ever going to chat over Facebook, then she may as well be a pornstar.

Let me try an ease the awkwardness a little as well.

How do you think he'd feel if a guy posted a crotch shot of his length/girth only covering up the tip? And your response was, ' don't worry honey - yours is MUCH bigger...'

Do you think such an event would go over well with him?
Haha....I don't know. I don't think he'd like it! I think she lives local, but he hasn't seen or talked to her in a long time. I think he has a lot of friends from his "neighborhood" like that on Facebook - people he grew up with and went to school with but isn't necessarily "close" to anymore. He grew up near to where we currently live.

Personally, and I haven't told him this ever, but I think a few of his female friends are trashy. But, since he never hangs out with them alone and he's always been good about making our marriage/his feelings for me well known, it wasn't a big deal.

I suppose thinking it through now, if a guy friend did that on my Facebook, I'd probably at minimum hide his posts from my feed if not just remove him as a friend, particularly if it was someone I didn't talk to. Heck, I'd do that if I had a girl friend who posted photos like that too. Haha.
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Old 14th July 2014, 3:19 PM   #8
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Did you expect him to immediately unfriend her & jump off the couch denouncing her for all eternity?
A tad extreme dontchathink? Although, I wouldn't put it past the insecurity of some this day n' age.

I'm going to say she was probably looking for a little disgust from him. (We shall see!)
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Old 14th July 2014, 3:20 PM   #9
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I Q the maturity of his friend. I agree it would be awkward but exactly what did your husband do wrong? Did you expect him to immediately unfriend her & jump off the couch denouncing her for all eternity?
Maybe. I have very high standards for most people. So yeah, I guess I would have liked for him to say something like "Geez, what a slut she turned into. Can't believe she'd post that for all her friends to see on Facebook."

In his defense, I think it caught him kinda off guard. He "likes" a couple pin-up pages (with old-school models like Betty Page) but I think he was as surprised as me to see an actual person post a photo of that type.
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Old 14th July 2014, 3:23 PM   #10
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No man is going to denounce boobs.
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Old 14th July 2014, 3:24 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by atlg8r View Post
Can't believe she'd post that for all her friends to see on Facebook."
She posted this on her own wall?! You made it sound like she sent a discrete picture to him in hopes of adding some animosity to your marriage.

I'm going to say his response was ample difussery for the situation. And honestly if you were my wife I probably would have said the same thing about your boobs too.

Last edited by Javelin; 14th July 2014 at 3:27 PM..
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Old 14th July 2014, 3:27 PM   #12
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atlg8r -- at least you understand yourself, your motives & your desires.

In that case, talk to your husband. Express your dislike of her behavior & find out if his opinion of her changed.
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Old 14th July 2014, 3:28 PM   #13
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She posted this on her own wall?! You made it sound like she sent a discrete picture to him in hopes of adding some animosity to your marriage.

I'm going to say his response was ample difussery. (Yes, I just made that word up!)
Noooo....if she sent it to him, I'd have been a bit more specific about wanting him to delete her from his friends. No way a woman is going to send my husband risque or partially nude photos privately!

That's the thing - he really didn't do anything wrong. And I don't really know that there's an "answer" I'm looking for - I guess I just think it's slutty, and it does bother me a little for my husband to "associate" with a woman like that, but not enough to keep harping on it (this was Saturday, and I haven't brought it up to him again or anything).
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Old 14th July 2014, 3:29 PM   #14
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Sounds like she's fishing for likes (trawling for them, really).
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Old 14th July 2014, 3:29 PM   #15
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atlg8r -- at least you understand yourself, your motives & your desires.

In that case, talk to your husband. Express your dislike of her behavior & find out if his opinion of her changed.
I may not even bring it up again, unless/until something similar happens again. He may have deleted her on his own or something for all I know. His ex texted him once when we'd first started dating, and I found out later that he'd politely let her know that he didn't want to be friends and then saved her number in his phone as "lying whore". LOL
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