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Dealing With The Guilt After Cheating


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wants2bunknown

How do you deal with guilt after cheating on someone? How do you live with it for the rest of your life?

 

I know I will never tell anyone, but sometimes, even though its been some time since it happened, I still feel like crying. At times I feel like I have to show my partner that I love them more then anything because I feel so guilty.

 

There wasn't any actual sex but I feel that it doesn't matter. How do you deal with it to a point that you don't feel like your being suffocated?

 

Any advice will help. {Not advice telling me to tell because I don't want to hurt the person I love, I KNOW I WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN. I just need advice to help lessen the weight that I feel.)

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You don't want to tell because you don't want to hurt her.... but your hurting yourself by not telling her.

 

Ask God to forgive you and help you... tell Him your problems and he will see you through. Seek counseling. Read books on "Letting go of the past"... things of this nature.

 

Best wishes to your and yours.

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  • 1 year later...

Dear Anon,

I never thought that I would ever do anything to hurt my lover but that is exactly what I did...

I just felt claustrophobic in our relationship, I needed a sense of independence, it almost made me angry that I needed him so much. He never did anything wrong, he was just a sweet, caring person who would do anything for me.

I broke it up with him but we stayed pretty much together, I was being selfish, I needed the security he gave me but at the same time I was keen to break-away at any cost...

I slept with someone else. I don't know how I did it now, the memory makes my heart ache. He found out. He cried to me - anguished and in pain but I felt dead, emotionless and even disgust towards him. Now I only feel disgust towards myself. How could I treat a loving, sweet person the way I did?

The guilt stabs me daily, it suffocates and consumes my thoughts.

 

Yours, Remorseful xx

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Given the crying, I think the OP is more likely a woman.

 

I would strongly consider telling him/her. No one thinks they will cheat and no one thinks they will cheat AGAIN.

 

If they find out, you will be much worse off.

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Your not going to do it anymore.............then you live with the guilt.........dont be selfish and lay your guilt on your other half........never understood what good telling the other person will do but devasted them in light that you will not do it again........

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i've only felt guilty about not feeling guilty,ive never understood why people are so possesive of each other,people fall in and out love all the time,people change,people are inconsistant..it's human nature.I've cheated many times and never felt guilty, I was also cheated on once and didnt care in the slightest,my sense of worth and happiness does'nt rely on the actions of other people,we are humans we fault and do stupid things and we always will.

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  • 1 year later...
i've only felt guilty about not feeling guilty,ive never understood why people are so possesive of each other,people fall in and out love all the time,people change,people are inconsistant..it's human nature.I've cheated many times and never felt guilty, I was also cheated on once and didnt care in the slightest,my sense of worth and happiness does'nt rely on the actions of other people,we are humans we fault and do stupid things and we always will.

 

I'm thinking about cheating. This guy that I really like, asked me out for dinner. Him and I have so much in common, and he really is the kind of guy I've always wanted to be with, and can't believe he's interested in me. My current boyfriend would be crushed, and I don't want to hurt him at all. I love him, and love being around him. I don't know what to do. I only have tonight to decide if I'm going out with this other guy. I just can't say no to him...I want them both.

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  • 3 weeks later...
I'm thinking about cheating. This guy that I really like, asked me out for dinner. Him and I have so much in common, and he really is the kind of guy I've always wanted to be with, and can't believe he's interested in me. My current boyfriend would be crushed, and I don't want to hurt him at all. I love him, and love being around him. I don't know what to do. I only have tonight to decide if I'm going out with this other guy. I just can't say no to him...I want them both.

 

yes i totally know what you feel thread. but maybe you're just excited to know that someone interesting is interested on you. i had a mistake in trusting a guy who wooed me despite of knowing that i have a boyfriend. we were so happy together, we were alike in so many ways... i said no to him a lot of times when he asks me to be his girl.

 

but when the time came that i said yes to him, and started treating him my boyfriend, he dumped me. told me that he can't leave her ex-girlfriend alone. what the **** is that???! then i realized, you just have to be contented on what you have. stick to the person who will honestly love you. but too late, the guilt is really eating me out. until now, my boyfriend doesn't know that i cheated on him. cheating is a very dangerous thing. do it one at a time.

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