succubusblues Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 So me and my bf Shaun have been together for 6 months and he is sooo sweet to me and such a good bf. I am a great gf to him as well, and we almost never argue or have problems. At the beginning of the month, he told me he went out to dinner with some old friends from his middle school and said he "bragged about me" and had a great time. Around this same time I started to have some bad feelings, I had a few bad dreams about Shaun and was feeling kinda sad in general but I couldn't understand why. He and I talked about things and established that he was not seeing anyone else and neither was I and we loved eachother and were happy. Everything was fine for a week or so. A few days ago he told me an old chick friend of his had gotten back in touch with him, but had sent him a sad text saying "I am so sorry. Thank you for everything you've done for me. I love you." He was worried she might have killed herself since he couldn't get ahold of her after that. This girl is someone he has some history with, but they never officially dated because it just "never worked out". Earlier this summer, before Shaun and I had officially gotten together, he had gone to see her for dinner and come back very upset, saying that they had "been in love forever" but it seemed they just "were not meant to be" as she was with someone else and Shaun felt that was for the best. A few months after that, he and I began dating. The girl turned out to be fine and was just going through an episode, but since he told me about that text I have been a little suspicious. I don't have many guy friends or ex's that would say "I love you" to me outside of an intimate relationship, especially when I am in a relationship, but since she is a girl, I tried to brush it off. Still, the thought of her nagged at me. Shaun left his facebook open on my computer one night and I peeked at his messages and read through the messages between him and the girl. Turns out (unless it's just a huge coincidence) they made plans to go to the SAME restaurant that Shaun went to with his friends, and they made their plans at the same time. In their conversation, they also discussed me, in which Shaun said I was a "catch and a half" and the girl asked if I would "hate her if they hung out" and Shaun replied that "no, we are not like that and are very open with eachother and I had guy friends too, so there's no need to worry".Their conversation was not sexual or particularly intimate, but it makes me so angry and sad that he lied to me about the dinner. I also saw that his last message to her was "ok, I'm free now" from just six days ago, which either means they got back in touch again via some other method or they met up to hang out again. I also saw in his phone that he made her name "blackbird" which worries me even more. Why all this secrecy if there's nothing to hide? Shaun is not at all the cheating type but this is making me feel distant from him and sad. I can't tell him I peeked at his private accounts, but I really want to talk to him about this. If he wants to be with her, he should just dump me, not hide everything! What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Author succubusblues Posted October 31, 2013 Author Share Posted October 31, 2013 Oh I forgot to mention that we did have a small conversation about this girl when he told me about the sad text, in which I asked him "so why didn't you and this girl ever get together?" And he responded that it'd never worked out between them and that they had more of a best friend/sibling relationship than a romantic one, especially now. He also said something like "you're always wondering about stuff like that. I don't regret who I chose to be with." I'm not as worried about Shaun cheating as his dishonesty. He lied straight to my face about that dinner, unless it really was just a huge coincidence that he went to the same restaurant twice, around the same time. If he did lie, I feel like he did it so that I wouldn't get sad or jealous, but now discovering the lie, it just makes it worse. It also upsets me that they went to such a nice restaurant (sushi) out of town, but he has only taken me to restaurants here, and nothing that nice and not that often. Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 One small lie now, 20 small lies later.....one HUGE lie eventually. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 Yeah, the lying is the big issue here. Did you ask him why he lied to you? That'd be what I would want to hear. Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 The fact is you dont know if he lied of not. Your jealousy is wrong, and that will push him away Link to post Share on other sites
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