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So I have recently found out girlfriend cheated in LasVegas while on holiday with her sister. Noticed a new guy putting likes on FB beside her posts and asked about him, given the just someone we met line. Long story short we went on summer trip to Europe and one night I got up and looked at her IPad messages and sure enough she cheated and was still messaging him, sending pictures etc. he's from Australia so cheating no longer happening with him but I'm having a hard time forgiving her. Promises won't happen again etc and I'm inclined to believe her but not sure can/should forgive. Help

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So I have recently found out girlfriend cheated in LasVegas while on holiday with her sister. Noticed a new guy putting likes on FB beside her posts and asked about him, given the just someone we met line. Long story short we went on summer trip to Europe and one night I got up and looked at her IPad messages and sure enough she cheated and was still messaging him, sending pictures etc. he's from Australia so cheating no longer happening with him but I'm having a hard time forgiving her. Promises won't happen again etc and I'm inclined to believe her but not sure can/should forgive. Help

 

I want you to answer each of these bullet point questions.

 

* You asked her about him and she lied saying he was just someone she met online. Do you forgive her for that lie?

 

*You found out she slept with him, you say you believe she won't cheat again, why do you believe that?

 

*Even after the cheating she was still talking to him and sending him pictures, again she continued the connection so she was not remorseful or sorry, how do you explain this.

 

*What exactly are you looking for?

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Forgive lie about being just someone they met, believe she won't cheat again (at least as much as I can believe, she claimed to be interested in being pursued from afar. Looking for full meal deal....everything that comes with relationship.

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theothersully

Cheating isn't a physical act so much as an emotional connection.

 

I random hookup in Vegas? One night stand? I could forgive a wife or gf for that. Cobtimually messaging someone and sending pics??

 

She is cheating worse now than in Vegas.

 

Dump that.

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First, it's a myth that there is something special that promotes cheating in Vegas. People look good and party in cities all over the world . So, her Vegas experience excuse doesn't fly. If she was comfortable cheating on you in Vegas she will be just as comfortable doing it in Hoboken.

 

I'm a forgiving person. I understand circumstances, fantasy, impulsiveness and mistakes. That's why I forgave my fiancé when I found inappropriate text messages. I married him and found that was very good and excuses and lies. He continued to cheat. I divorced him because of his ability and adeptness at telling me lies to my face more than for cheating.

 

Your GF has already done both.

 

You have to bail.

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Unlikely to be cheating now but never know, we spend an incredible amount of time together and both have kids, she was in a 20+ year marriage before we got together and was her ex that cheated. We get along amazingly well but I can't let thoughts of Vegas go

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Truth is I'm still Very much in love with her, I'm an attractive guy with no trouble getting girls but I want this one:(

 

Thing is, she wants other men too. You're NOT the only one SHE wants.

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Truth is I'm still Very much in love with her, I'm an attractive guy with no trouble getting girls but I want this one:(

So you want the one who acted like a ho behind your back? Who had another guy's d*ck in her vagina while you two were 'together'? Some standards you've got there, man! And she lied to you until she found out you knew about it. That is not the behavior of a remorseful person.

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theothersully
Not saying its logical, just how I feel. I know I have to end it....just don't want to.

 

That sucks.... feel pretty bad for you on that. You'll probably get hurt again though, or she'll turn into one of those infamous vanishing acts.

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Omg I don't know why I'd want her still. Her actions just don't fit with the person I see. She is an incredible girl... Even though I know it happened but still seems soooo out of character for her.

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It's only out of character for whom she portrays to be, the cheater is the real her. She would have taken it to her grave if you hadn't caught her. She is a prime candidate for a post nuptial. You have other options, if she cheats on you before marriage guess what you can expect after marriage.

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Has she been tested for stds?

 

So now has she gone NC with the OM and sent a NC letter to tell him to never contact her again?

 

Has she shown any remorse? Has she sent you any pictures? Did she tell you what they did together and is it something that she will not do with you?

 

Did she tell you she is sorry that she did this or sorry that she got caught?

 

How many other guys has she been with behind your back? Has she given you all her passwords to her cell and computer?

 

You are not married to this cheater, run as far and as fast as you can. The next time she will hide it better. She does not respect you or she would not cheat on you. So will you man up and not stand for her to continue to cheat on you? She could use a burner phone and you would not know about it.

 

Find someone else, this life is too short, let her have the POSOM. They deserve each other.

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Omg I don't know why I'd want her still. Her actions just don't fit with the person I see. She is an incredible girl... Even though I know it happened but still seems soooo out of character for her.

 

 

 

Incredible? Out Of Character?

 

You didn't know her in the first place obviously. But hey like any advice take what you need and leave the rest.

 

The ONLY thing you do KNOW is what she is capable of.

 

Stay in this relationship at your own peril. You seem like a nice guy...way too nice...you are a safe thing for her...and plus you'll take her back....so she can pay you all the lip service about how this won't happen again and all that claptrap while she puts her lips on some other guy's Schwanz. Because she knows you are not going to end the relationship. Their is no reason for her to stop messing about because she has had no consequences to suffer.

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but..she cheated on you...why would you want her?;)

 

His real name is Doormat I'm working to find out his last name. I'm going to expose you buddy.

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Omg I don't know why I'd want her still. Her actions just don't fit with the person I see. She is an incredible girl... Even though I know it happened but still seems soooo out of character for her.

It's actions that reveal character so this is the kind of person she is. You're not married so no reason to put yourself through all the pain and drama that awaits you if you try to patch things up. She cheated. That's not ok with you or you wouldn't be here posting. Dump her and move on with your life.

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If you like being cheated on, stay with her.

If you think sleeping with another man is something that you will not tolerate, move on. Young man, you deserve better.

 

There are 3 billion women in the world. I reckon most of them would make better wives than your current gf.

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Truth is I'm still Very much in love with her, I'm an attractive guy with no trouble getting girls but I want this one:(

 

 

And, unfortunately, she was keeping her options open. How is that fair to you?

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Omg I don't know why I'd want her still. Her actions just don't fit with the person I see. She is an incredible girl... Even though I know it happened but still seems soooo out of character for her.

 

Hey if you are willing to put up with it don't let us ruin your happiness. If you are okay with her getting pumped every now and then and coming back to you then don't leave her, but I don't think you'd be here if that were the case.

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1) Dump her, get over her. Take the pain and move on. Be a single man, live the dream. Go out, find someone new who you trust. Be happy

 

2) Don't dump her. Become jealous and paranoid. Wondering where she is and what shes doing every time shes out. Pull your hair out thinking about whats she doing. Become depressed while knowing your stuck in the wrong relationship

 

 

The choice is yours

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Grow a spine, man.

 

I wouldn't even talk to her again, I'd just disappear of the face of the earth and never speak to her again. She doesn't even deserve to be dumped properly.

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