Random name Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 Well I'm typing this off of my iPhone hehe but here it goes. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 6 months now in which feels like I'm living in a fairy tale because it feels and seems so perfect! We never argue, are always having fun and going out and what not. For her birthday I bought her a promise ring because I have grown to love this girl with all of my heart. But there's a catch. My gut instinct tells me she's cheating or has cheated on me. Why..? Because her past was awful, she was with 3 other guys (she had sex) all of who I knew. She cheated and was just really really bad all in. As to evidence.. I don't have any.. She says she loves me with all of her heart, and she would never do anything to hurt me... I just wish I could get rid of this gut instinct because I really do love this girl, she's just amazing! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GLDheart Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 Be careful here. In just the few words you have written, I recognize the patterns of an axiously insecure person. Look into attachment styles. If my hunch is right you very well could be sabotaging exactly what you deep down want. Anxously Insecure people tend to have self fulfilling prophesies with relationships. Again be careful. Look past yourself. If my hunch is wrong, then proceed with your gut instinct and be cautious and thorough. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 Slow your roll. If you are having a gut feeling, please don't be getting engaged. I take it you are very young because a promise ring... ? lol sorry. Does she go out a lot without you? Have lots of guy friends? *something* is giving you this feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
g450 Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 Only six months and you bought her a promise ring? You sound a little needy. As for what she did, so what. My W did much MUCH worse but I give her the benefit of doubt. You need to do the same. Yes, gut feelings are usually right but you are basing your feelings on her past and not the present from what it sounds. That's called retroactive jealousy and its not healthy. Trust me, I had to deal with the same. Link to post Share on other sites
03291975 Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 I am currently on the flip side of this jealousy situation, minus the promise ring. My boyfriend has twice in the last week accused me of making out w my girlfriends and he is basing it on my bisexual experiences in the past. Everyone has a past... Its made them who they r today... It made them the person u fell in love with..... I do not understand why you would start obsessing about her w other ppl when u should be cherishing and praising eachother.... It seems like common sense to me that if u love someone and want to have a lasting and meaningful relationship u do the things that will make eachother happy.... the things that Make her want to never be w anyone but u picking apart the choices she made in the past, judging and distrusting Her for stuff that happened before she made a commitment to u will only push her away and make her doubt that u respect her, she will never love u if she doesnt hav ur respect 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GLDheart Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 ...My boyfriend has twice in the last week accused me of making out w my girlfriends and he is basing it on my bisexual experiences in the past... 032, You're basing your advice off of a conflicting story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/cheating-flirting-jealousy/338103-boyfriend-jealous-about-bisexual-past The difference in your story and the OP's is that he has ZERO current evidence: As to evidence.. I don't have any.. Where as you have: ...He was out of town and during a nite of drinking w a girlfriend,we ended up having sex... THAT IS A BIG DIFFERENCE, IMHO. OP, can you post why it is you feel she may be cheating? Forget her past (for now). Her current behavior MUST give you some sign etc... Link to post Share on other sites
TG1 Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 If I were you, I would trust what my heart tells me rather than what my head is telling me, and in your case if you believe in your gut she is cheating on you, she probably is or she probably has already, so if I were you, I would confront her on it 1 Link to post Share on other sites
crash9i77 Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 Within the first 3 months to a year or so of a new relationship, ypu are only at the honeymoon stage, where endorphins are pumping through ypur system and niether one of you sees anything bad at all in each other, in fact it feels perfect!!! Its the stage at whisc famous songs and poetry have been written about. In our world, unfortunately nothing lasts, so relax and enjoy the ride. Make memories, have fun and experience everything u can. So when its over, you can learn from it and have lasting memories. However, those gut feelings are usualy correct. And when someone cheats.. most of the time its a habbit, its so easy, and people bounce back and forth haveing two seperate lives. Having their cake and eating it to. If she has a past of cheating, especially more than once, than chances are it will/has happened to you buddy. Whatever you do, when it gats bad, don't let her ruin your life. If My gut feeling has always led me right. With my ex on my story here, I was the only man to ever catch her because she/they mask who they are and hide a lot. She said this after the first time. "Ever since I was a little girl, I have always been like this, I know it plays with people's feelings and emotions, and I know its not right but I can't help it" Some women out there need to have their security, and their backup for when it gets slow or repetitive Just hang in there, and don't let it kill ypu, but also don't give her all too fast, if it happens it will kill ya But also don't be the dumbass, prepare urself. Women know they habe all the power. And if she is extremely sexy and hot like my ex was.. they can get it from anywhere. But..... and this is a big but.. don't confront her unless ypu have 100% proof.. calling her out on a whim will cause problems and she will be gone before you know and you will be the *******. One last thing.. based on ur age..and it might be young. IDK... But keep in mind that you and her... will not only sleep with each other for the rest of your lives.. have fun now, learn, grow, and it may be hard to think about it.. but you will be with someone else, as well as her.. its a new age.. women have freedom and you won't be her ladt lover in her lifetime, when you accept that.. You learn and grow from it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Random name Posted August 1, 2012 Author Share Posted August 1, 2012 " OP, can you post why it is you feel she may be cheating? Forget her past (for now). Her current behavior MUST give you some sign etc..." She keeps lying about stuff.. i keep finding more and more out about her past that she has lied about and swore to me about.. some nights she wants to go home earlier than usual.. at first she used to beg me to stay and now she wants me to leave early.. it's crazy.. and early on in the relationship she was all over this one guy that she was friends with and she stopped when i told her to knock it off.. also.. when she screws up- the first thing she asks is if we should break up.. its drops my heart to hear that.. but hey its life I guess.. Link to post Share on other sites
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