Next move to make with this girl?

[chbay]

Hey everyone, I just joined up hoping I could get some advice!

 

I'm a 20 year old male who is a very late bloomer when it comes to girls. I just lost my virginity this year and also was in my first ever relationship, although it lasted for less than 2 months.

 

I recently got a new job at a pizza place and there's this girl at work who I really like and she really seems to be into me (she's a server and while she currently had no tables to attend to, she approached me and got up close and said something like "I'm about to prepare my table for the next customer and then I'm going to the dishroom to wash some dishes, you should join." while she smiled and pinched my cheeks and walked away.

 

I want this girl to know that I'm also into her. Well, she probably already knows given our past recent encounters, but I really struggle with making the next move. What do I do next?

 

I'm a guy who has very low self-esteem. I am a pretty outgoing person once I get comfortable with a person, and I have a good and interesting sense of humor, but I don't have much of a social life at all. I have trouble keeping a good conversation going. and in desparation I often proceed to tell a long and stupid story that I think relates but don't realize how stupid it was until after I'm done saying it.

 

I could use all the tips I could get! I like this girl a lot but I have never been one to actually make an effort.

[Tonkerponk]

Be flirty. Bust her balls and have FUN with her, laugh with her, make jokes and whatnot, make it shown through your actions that youre interested, but dont SAY it.

 

If it goes well, dont linger around her or ask her too many questions or have boring normal conversations with her. Tell her something like "Hey tomrrow I think im going to _____ place to eat, because Ive been craving some _______, you can come if youd like!"

 

Go on a date with her, make your intentions clear and dont get friend zoned. Be confident in yourself, your actions, and everything you say. Youre the man bro.

[Tonkerponk]

1. I'm a guy who has very low self-esteem. I am a pretty outgoing person once I get comfortable with a person, and I have a good and interesting sense of humor, 2. but I don't have much of a social life at all. 3. I have trouble keeping a good conversation going. and in desparation I often proceed to tell a long and stupid story that I think relates but don't realize how stupid it was until after I'm done saying it.

 

1. GET THIS BULL**** OUT OF YOUR HEAD. I dont care if you have to convince yourself that youre a movie star, but one of, if not the MOST non-physical attractive trait to a woman is confidence, if not humor. You're a MAN, god dammit.

 

2. Dont let her know this. If she asks what youre up to later, NEVER say "Nothing" or "I dunno". Make something up...youre gonna go grab a bite to eat, sky diving, whatever. You dont need to sound like you have all this crazy **** going on, but you DO need to make it seems as if you do have a life. People want to be around someone who is FUN and can offer a good time to everyone around them. Another thing, if she asks what youre doing this weekend, tonight, ect, consider that a cue as her trying to see you, as she is curious to what your plans are. If you have some, throw her a casual invite "Well, I may be doing x,y, or z, itd may be nice if you came along, that is, if you arent busy doing what ever other lame plans you have" (Girls LOVE playful teasing, its almost cheating. Seriously.)

3. If a conversation is going lame, dont try to force it or make something more than it is. Dont be a lurker and hover around or make it seem like youre desperate for her attention.

Edited August 24, 2011 by Tonkerponk

[chbay]

1. I'm a guy who has very low self-esteem. I am a pretty outgoing person once I get comfortable with a person, and I have a good and interesting sense of humor, 2. but I don't have much of a social life at all. 3. I have trouble keeping a good conversation going. and in desparation I often proceed to tell a long and stupid story that I think relates but don't realize how stupid it was until after I'm done saying it.

 

1. GET THIS BULL**** OUT OF YOUR HEAD. I dont care if you have to convince yourself that youre a movie star, but one of, if not the MOST non-physical attractive trait to a woman is confidence, if not humor. You're a MAN, god dammit.

 

2. Dont let her know this. If she asks what youre up to later, NEVER say "Nothing" or "I dunno". Make something up...youre gonna go grab a bite to eat, sky diving, whatever. You dont need to sound like you have all this crazy **** going on, but you DO need to make it seems as if you do have a life. People want to be around someone who is FUN and can offer a good time to everyone around them. Another thing, if she asks what youre doing this weekend, tonight, ect, consider that a cue as her trying to see you, as she is curious to what your plans are. If you have some, throw her a casual invite "Well, I may be doing x,y, or z, itd may be nice if you came along, that is, if you arent busy doing what ever other lame plans you have" (Girls LOVE playful teasing, its almost cheating. Seriously.)

 

3. If a conversation is going lame, dont try to force it or make something more than it is. Dont be a lurker and hover around or make it seem like youre desperate for her attention.

I've never before talked about or even mentioned my low self-esteem. I'm saying it here on the internet for the first time, and I'm saying it because it's true. I really don't let it show in real life...if you were just getting to know me in person, you'd think I'm a confident, somewhat cocky guy with kind of a big mouth. But in reality I am extremely insecure which prevents me from pushing or challenging myself (because of fear).

 

Now, I know this girl is into me. our friendship is filled with all sorts of innuendo. Our conversations have gotten to the point where she would talk about her boobs/ass, saying she already has small boobs as it is (which isn't really true, haha they're definitely pretty normal-sized), and that she's afraid that losing weight would cause her to lose that sweet ass of her's. I told her that her ass makes up for any shortcomings she think she has.

 

The way I talk with her and other girls in the workplace makes me come across as confident I guess you could say, But in reality I am always so nervous when it comes to girls and am really unable to take the next step, I really am. This bothers me because you know the guy is "the one" who should make the next move. For the most part, she's been the one to "make the next move" but that was only when we were just beginning to get to know each other. At this point "the next move" would be to arrange something to do outside of work. It feels like I'm balking big time and I don't want her to eventually get bored with me and leave because I don't have the balls to make any progression with her!

 

I don't even know really what it is I fear in this case. What to do? What the hell do I do? I've never been on a date that wasn't a double-date that consisted of basically dinner and a movie. It'd be wonderful if I had these exciting original ideas to do with this girl, like involve her in my social activities I do with friends. Well I have almost none of that. I have very few friends that I would actually do anything with (my best friend just moved all the way to Las Vegas a couple weeks ago. I live in Ohio. I now have nothing and don't want her to get bored to death upon seeing I don't do sh-t in my spare time). This is why I can't picture myself actually being in a real relationship that lasts, because I'm scared to death about not living up to her expectations and then leaving me. It's absolutely debilitating.