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Boyfriend of 6 years kissed another girl..


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My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years on and off, but mostly on. We are both 21. Both of us are on spring break and he's at the beach. Today, he called me and told me that he was crazy drunk last night, blacked out, and kissed another girl. He said he doesn't remember it.. his friends told him this morning that she went after him and he just didn't avoid it. Apparently after, he was pissed at himself and his friends for not stopping him. Nothing like this has happened in our time together, and he's been apologizing like crazy, knowing that being drunk isn't any sort of excuse no matter how intoxicated he was. I cannot stand cheaters.. taking him back would be going against everything I stand for. I know in my heart that he's sincere and regrets it more than anything. But I'm numb and I don't know what to do. The future of our relationship is in my hands. I told him I needed a few days to think.. what should I do???

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PegNosePete
I cannot stand cheaters.. taking him back would be going against everything I stand for.

I think you've answered your own question there.

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I cannot stand cheaters.. taking him back would be going against everything I stand for.

 

Sounds like you have already made up your mind. Drunk or not, kissing someone else is still cheating no matter what, no excuse. He shouldn't be mad at his friends, he should be mad at himself.

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Meh... I'll go against the grain here and say that you should really consider not dumping him... Not that there shouldn't be consequences, but really look at everything.

 

You've been together for 6 yearsish.

He did not sleep with her.

He called you and confessed as soon as he realized.

Feels horrible and you know he is genuinely distressed about it.

Says he was black out drunk and his friends (some friends) did nothing to stop him.

 

Have you ever been blackout drunk? You literally have no concious control of your actions, (it is not an excuse, as he shouldn't be drinking that much... ever) and you won't remember it after the fact. The one time I was blacked out I ended up alternating doing pull ups on the stairs/riding down them from top to bottom on my ass... Don't. Recall. A. Thing.

 

Also look at it this as well. Had his friends not told him, he would never have known anything happened. You would not have known anything happened. I think it says a lot about his character that he is risking everything you all have by coming clean and admitting he did something stupid.

 

Anyway, I think it's a forgivable offense. However, he SERIOUSLY needs to take a hard look at how much he's drinking. I'd also have him question the kind of friends he is hanging out with... Just my 2 c.

 

p.s. I've noticed on this forum there's a lot of cynical, bitter, and angry people. Everything is black and white. It is always the worst case scenario. Nothing can be forgiven. You can never trust him again. Because he drunkenly kissed one girl means he has probably slept with 100s of others... That kind of attitude.

 

I'm not saying they're wrong, because they are speaking from experience. But I definitely think that advice from strangers who don't know you or your SO, or the situation, should be taken with a massive grain of salt.

 

Good luck!!

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jnj express

Hey Lovely---he put himself in the situation that got him in trouble in the 1st place-----he must have been doing some flirting---females just don't go and kiss guys for no reason

 

He is in a relationship with you---what is he doing going and getting sh*t faced with guys on spring break and then messing around with other women

 

You know what you need to do---right now tell him to stay away and stop calling---tell him you want no contact whatsoever while you decide what to do-------no matter what give him a dose of reality and see what things will be like w/out you----NC with him at all----see if that will make him grow up a bit

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purplepanda
Hey Lovely---he put himself in the situation that got him in trouble in the 1st place-----he must have been doing some flirting---females just don't go and kiss guys for no reason

 

He is in a relationship with you---what is he doing going and getting sh*t faced with guys on spring break and then messing around with other women

 

You know what you need to do---right now tell him to stay away and stop calling---tell him you want no contact whatsoever while you decide what to do-------no matter what give him a dose of reality and see what things will be like w/out you----NC with him at all----see if that will make him grow up a bit

 

 

YES some girls do. For the chase, to make someone jealous, or just to tear him away from someone else. Girls do it.

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purplepanda

Forgive the guy. He sounds sincere and if it's been SIX YEARS and nothing's happened, then he means it.

 

Now just either be there with him, but since he was sort of with friends it probably wouldn't work out that way, and he could not drink that much. It'll be okay. :)

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