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Did my girlfriend cheat?


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Hi everyone,

 

I just want to tell you all a little bit about my relationship with my girlfriend before I get into my issue. I believe that we're in love, and have been for a year or so. Things in our relationship have been steady, (barely fight, and disagreements are dispelled quickly). I had to recently fix her laptop because the keyboard had been acting up, her roommates and friends have access to her laptop, and know her password. Last night I managed to fix it, but had no word processor to test it on. So, I fired up the internet (home page is google), and began to try the keys one by one to see if they worked. I pressed the "p" key, the laptop brought a list of things that had been searched, underneath the search bar. "Plan B" came up as a search, and I became alarmed immediately because it is an emergency contraceptive pill.

 

Unfortunately, I became paranoid and began to look through the computer's internet history and found that it the search was done on Dec. 6th at 9 PM. Another page was accessed, with the title "Have you used Plan B?" and another google search on, "Plan B shoppers drug mart" (I think it's safe to say at the time the person was looking for where to buy Plan B). I remember on Dec. 6th my girlfriend was hung over because she had been out with a girlfriend of hers the night before. I went over to her house to try to brighten up her day on Dec. 6 at 1 PM, and she was still in bed. My big question though is: How can I be sure that it was or wasn't my girlfriend who looked up information on Plan B? There is no immediate change in my girlfriend's behaviour, and her roommates aren't acting any differently towards me either, nothing noteworthy or out of the ordinary has happened since Dec. 6th either. Also, knowing that she isn't the only one who uses her computer, what is the likelihood that someone else may have searched for it?

 

What do I do, give her the benefit of the doubt? Confront her with no concrete evidence? I'm lost and very confused!

Edited by teardrop86
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No, I don't think her searching for plan B means she cheated on you. I search for random things on the internet all the time, for no particular reason what so ever. If everything else is good in your relationship I would not bring this up to her. It could have been her or a roomate that searched for it, but either way, it doesnt really matter.

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I think you are stuck. It looks very suspicious since that was the day she was so messed up for partying the night before. The problem is that she is not the only one who uses the computer. You have to admit it is quite a coincidence.

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I would just ask her if her roommates used her computer the night of the hangover. There is only ONE reason to look up where to find the plan B pill and that is because you had UNPROTECTED SEX!

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make me believe

You found out in a legitimate way (not by snooping), so why don't you just ask her? Tell her exactly what you told us -- that you brought up google & started typing something in to check if the keys were working, and you saw that she had searched for Plan B. Ask her why. You could even phrase it in a concerned way ("did you have a pregnancy scare, babe?") See how she responds. I don't think it means that she cheated on you, though.

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If she had a pregnancy scare and was looking for the morning after pill and he wasnt the guy she had sex with the night before the morning after then Im pretty sure that means she cheated...

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I appreciate the replies from everyone. I have decided to keep it in the back of my mind, and watch for anything out of the ordinary. I consulted some friends about this and they all think that she isn't the type of girl who would cheat. That being said, I still want to be observant.

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You found out in a legitimate way (not by snooping), so why don't you just ask her? Tell her exactly what you told us -- that you brought up google & started typing something in to check if the keys were working, and you saw that she had searched for Plan B. Ask her why. You could even phrase it in a concerned way ("did you have a pregnancy scare, babe?") See how she responds. I don't think it means that she cheated on you, though.

 

I COMPLETELY agree with you. In a healthy relationship, both parties should be able to talk about anything, however I do see how it can be hard...but its best to be truthful.

 

I honestly don't think she cheated...if she has been faithful for a year, then drunkenly cheated on you, especially if there was a pregnancy scare, then there would be some serious guilt on her mind and there would most likely be noteworthy changes in your relationship since then..... for someone you are in love with, and know very well, you would be able to tell if she cheated without her even having to admit it.

 

There is a VERY likely chance that her friend that she went out with was the one with the pregnancy scare, or whoever else uses her computer....

 

I think you are fine, but I would still advise asking her about it and being honest rather than just putting it on the back burner.

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I appreciate the replies from everyone. I have decided to keep it in the back of my mind, and watch for anything out of the ordinary.

Don't do this. This is not the kind of thing that will blow over and you will forget about, this will keep haunting you until you confront her with it.

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AlektraClementine

She deserves to know that you have a suspicion. She also deserves to know that you snooped.

 

I disagree with the "honest means" malarkey. The first thing you saw led you to actively snoop through her history. I'm not harping on you. I'm a snooper too! Just don't try to make it sound more innocent than it is.

 

Have a talk with her. Mark my words...this little monster's going to grow.

 

Good luck!

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I appreciate the replies from everyone. I have decided to keep it in the back of my mind, and watch for anything out of the ordinary. I consulted some friends about this and they all think that she isn't the type of girl who would cheat. That being said, I still want to be observant.

 

 

No one ever thinks their girl or guy is the type to cheat on them.

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I think everyone is ruling out the other possibilities that could have happened. which are much more likely.

 

1. Her friend used her computer to look up Plan B.

2. SHE looked up plan B for her friend.

3. She looked up plan B because maybe someone mentioned something about it (in a class, at work, in her group of friends, etc...) and it sparked her interest and wanted to learn more about it. When I first found out what "the morning after pill" was, I went home and searched google too...I thought it was amazing how a pill could get you "unpregnant" (Yeah, I know that plan B doesn't actually unpregnate you, but thats why I looked it up...to find out about it! simply out of CURIOSITY)

4. Maybe she wanted to find out what she could do if you guys ever did have a pregnancy scare...

 

You guys, there are SO many more possibilities than her cheating on him.

 

So, my advice to you, like I mentioned, is to be completely honest. Ask her. Tell her the truth, maybe it started innocent, but you did snoop. (I'm pretty sure she would have snooped too if she saw something suspicious on your computer, in opposite rolls anyways) and I am about 98% sure (unless she's a professional liar) that you will find out the truth in her reaction to your inquiry.

 

Again, DONT put it on the back burner..... someday it'll blow up and cause wayyyyyyy more damage than just asking her would.

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Kinder-Horror
I think everyone is ruling out the other possibilities that could have happened. which are much more likely.

 

1. Her friend used her computer to look up Plan B.

2. SHE looked up plan B for her friend.

3. She looked up plan B because maybe someone mentioned something about it (in a class, at work, in her group of friends, etc...) and it sparked her interest and wanted to learn more about it. When I first found out what "the morning after pill" was, I went home and searched google too...I thought it was amazing how a pill could get you "unpregnant" (Yeah, I know that plan B doesn't actually unpregnate you, but thats why I looked it up...to find out about it! simply out of CURIOSITY)

4. Maybe she wanted to find out what she could do if you guys ever did have a pregnancy scare...

 

You guys, there are SO many more possibilities than her cheating on him.

 

So, my advice to you, like I mentioned, is to be completely honest. Ask her. Tell her the truth, maybe it started innocent, but you did snoop. (I'm pretty sure she would have snooped too if she saw something suspicious on your computer, in opposite rolls anyways) and I am about 98% sure (unless she's a professional liar) that you will find out the truth in her reaction to your inquiry.

 

Again, DONT put it on the back burner..... someday it'll blow up and cause wayyyyyyy more damage than just asking her would.

 

I agree that those are other possibilities... but not MORE likely. Come on.

It's her computer. I have had roommates for 5 years and it is extremely rare they ask for my computer... yes it happens, but it certainly isn't MORE likely.

 

:(

Edited by Kinder-Horror
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Check your fact pattern---is it out of the ordinary------All of a sudden---use of a birth control pill, after being out on a drunken night of who knows what

 

Has plan B ever come up before---does she usually go out and get drunk with her GF

 

Does she usually end up in bed as late as she did on 12/7

 

If it is out of the ordinary---you need to ask, what I wonder is why are you allowing someone you are supposedly in a relationship with, to go out drinking with her GF without you being along---and why would she want to go out w/out you---if, the two of you are in a so-called loving relationship---I would think you would be doing everything together----just my opinion

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Next thing I would worry about now is the hepragonorrsyphalaids. I would find out the truth before you find out the painful way.

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Hi everyone,

 

I just want to tell you all a little bit about my relationship with my girlfriend before I get into my issue. I believe that we're in love, and have been for a year or so. Things in our relationship have been steady, (barely fight, and disagreements are dispelled quickly). I had to recently fix her laptop because the keyboard had been acting up, her roommates and friends have access to her laptop, and know her password. Last night I managed to fix it, but had no word processor to test it on. So, I fired up the internet (home page is google), and began to try the keys one by one to see if they worked. I pressed the "p" key, the laptop brought a list of things that had been searched, underneath the search bar. "Plan B" came up as a search, and I became alarmed immediately because it is an emergency contraceptive pill.

 

Unfortunately, I became paranoid and began to look through the computer's internet history and found that it the search was done on Dec. 6th at 9 PM. Another page was accessed, with the title "Have you used Plan B?" and another google search on, "Plan B shoppers drug mart" (I think it's safe to say at the time the person was looking for where to buy Plan B). I remember on Dec. 6th my girlfriend was hung over because she had been out with a girlfriend of hers the night before. I went over to her house to try to brighten up her day on Dec. 6 at 1 PM, and she was still in bed. My big question though is: How can I be sure that it was or wasn't my girlfriend who looked up information on Plan B? There is no immediate change in my girlfriend's behaviour, and her roommates aren't acting any differently towards me either, nothing noteworthy or out of the ordinary has happened since Dec. 6th either. Also, knowing that she isn't the only one who uses her computer, what is the likelihood that someone else may have searched for it?

 

What do I do, give her the benefit of the doubt? Confront her with no concrete evidence? I'm lost and very confused!

 

Check her credit card or bank statement to see if she has purchased it.

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I've googled Plan B more than once without ever needing to purchase it. I know I googled it when I first heard of it, I've googled it while on the phone with a friend who needed it and I've googled it because of random message board postings.

 

How do you know what time on Sunday she googled it? My internet history lists the days that week and then puts everything from the previous week together. If you checked her internet history on Dec 14, I would think the previous week would all be smushed together.

 

Check her credit card or bank statement to see if she has purchased it.

Not only is this psycho, it wouldn't even work. The charge would be from a drugstore and it is cheap enough that you can pay cash.

 

Either ask her about it or move on.

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Dexter Morgan

What do I do, give her the benefit of the doubt? Confront her with no concrete evidence? I'm lost and very confused!

 

my guess is she cheated on you.

 

But ask yourself these questions:

 

-does she go out and party or go to clubs? and does she do it without you?

 

-are there alot of times you do not know what she is up to?

 

-does she have ample opportunity to cheat(in other words, if you are with her all the time, she may not have the opportunity...not that you want to be stuck up her butt all the time)

 

-does she come home at all hours of the morning if she does go out and party?

 

-does she go away for weekends with the girls?

 

in other words, does she live the kind of life that most people in it would cheat?

 

if you don't think so, then maybe it is her friends on her laptop.

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my guess is she cheated on you.

 

But ask yourself these questions:

 

-does she go out and party or go to clubs? and does she do it without you?

 

Sometimes, but almost all the time we're out partying together. (This occasion I was studying for a final exam, and couldn't go out, so she went out with her girlfriend).

 

-are there alot of times you do not know what she is up to?

 

Not really, she's pretty open about what she's been up to during the day. (We don't live together).

 

-does she have ample opportunity to cheat(in other words, if you are with her all the time, she may not have the opportunity...not that you want to be stuck up her butt all the time)

 

It would be pretty hard to cheat at home because she has two roommates that live with her. (She rarely goes out during the week, unless it's for a special occasion).

 

-does she come home at all hours of the morning if she does go out and party?

 

Infrequently, she has a few times in the 13 months we've been going out for.

 

-does she go away for weekends with the girls?

 

No, any vacation that has happened, we've gone there together.

 

in other words, does she live the kind of life that most people in it would cheat?

 

She works from Tuesday to Saturday, we spend the weekend together and she spends time with her roommates or by herself when she's not at work. She always calls me before she goes to bed as well.

 

if you don't think so, then maybe it is her friends on her laptop.

 

I'm not sure, I think it's better to ask her because it will alleviate my paranoia, whatever happened I need to know, or it's going to keep eating away at me. The only problem is that she's in Ireland right now for the Christmas holidays. She doesn't get back until January 1st (I'm picking her up from the airport), and my birthday is on January 2nd. I need to figure out an appropriate time to ask her, should I wait until she gets home? (this is what I'm leaning towards). Or ask her while she's visiting family in Ireland?

 

This is where I need help, I don't know when I should ask her, or how I should ask her, I was thinking, "did we have a pregnancy scare babe?", or I was advised to ask her like this, "did you have a pregnancy scare babe?" (Which is a better way to ask, or if there's another way to ask, I'm open to suggestions).

 

Any advice would be much appreciated, thank you all.

Edited by teardrop86
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Untouchable_Fire

This is where I need help, I don't know when I should ask her, or how I should ask her, I was thinking, "did we have a pregnancy scare babe?", or I was advised to ask her like this, "did you have a pregnancy scare babe?" (Which is a better way to ask, or if there's another way to ask, I'm open to suggestions).

Any advice would be much appreciated, thank you all. [/b]

 

Just say you noticed she was looking up Plan B on her computer. Ask why and gauge her reaction.

 

If you hand her a premade excuse that you will accept, she will most likely use it if she is lieing.

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I appreciate the replies from everyone. I have decided to keep it in the back of my mind, and watch for anything out of the ordinary. I consulted some friends about this and they all think that she isn't the type of girl who would cheat. That being said, I still want to be observant.

That's the right thing to do

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I think she did cheat on you. But these things happen. Perfect relationships are built on forgiving.

COuld it also mean...perfect relationships are built on cheating???:laugh:

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Flyin in Clouds

OH... she was looking it up and purchasing for future use when she was back in Ireland - long way from you.... Suspicion. (very old song...)

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