cupcake2010 Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 Why he accuses me, I don't know. We have vigorous arguments over nothing. He's constantly checking my email, Facebook, and Myspace to see who I've been talking to, who I've requested as a friend, and I've never given him any reason for him not to trust me. He hates me going out with my female friends, he even hates for me to hang out with my brothers because he's afraid of who I might end up meeting. Before me and him got together, I had a life of going out with friends just having a great time. But ever since him and I hooked up, he completely wants me disowning all my friends because he says he can't trust them. It's not about trusting my friends, it's about trusting me, which I've told him plenty of times. I've asked him, "why don't you trust me when I've never given you any reason for you not to?" His response is because I've lied in the past. This was towards the beginning of our 2 year relationship where I had told him I would cut out my friends just for him, because that's what he wanted me to do, and that was really stupid and naive of me. So one night one of my best friends had asked if I wanted to go out, and of course I said yes. I had told him about me wanting to go out with her and he immediately said no, and that's when I got angry and went out anyways but didn't tell him. So now in the midst of all our arguing, he brings up him not being able to trust me because I don't know how to stay true to my word, and he doesn't know what I'll lie about next. He text messages me 24/7 never giving me a break, always wanting to know what I'm doing, where I'm at, who I've been talking to. It's everyday with him, it never stops. He gets angry, not mad but angry with me if I don't answer his phone calls or text messages right away, and that's when he starts to accuse me. I can't just "do me" because he always needs to be involved and know everything. And when I don't tell him everything he thinks I'm being sneaky. So then that's when I tell him, "If I'm treating you so badly and cheating on you, why do you continue to stay with me?" His reply is to not start with him asking why does he stay. I must want him to leave so I can go meet someone else. I'm a damn good woman to him and he knows it, that's why he can't leave the relationship even when he thinks I'm cheating on him. I've learned to not give in to what he wants just because of his own insecurities and whatever stories he's making up in his own head about what I'm doing to him. I'm living my life and I'm learning to enjoy it again, whether he likes it or not. I won't let him or any man control me because nothing good comes of it. Link to post Share on other sites
ADF Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 Your BF is an insecure, domineering control freak. His behavior has nothing to do with you specifically. He would likely act the same regardless of who he was with. Men like him often become abusive. In a psychological/emotional sense, it sounds as if he already is. Get away, now. Link to post Share on other sites
eraser Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 I just replied to your other thread. Get rid of this dude... Link to post Share on other sites
bunny25k Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 You've mentioned he's with you even though he thinks you're cheating because you are very good to him. Why are you with him? Do you want to make it work or is it getting too hard? You've lied in the past, it takes a while to rebuild trust, it doesn't dismiss his behavior, I'm sure he's miserable playing check up too, how horrible is that life. Maybe he just needs to make a life outside of "you", and you should help him trust you by not getting upset when he wants to know what you're doing, then he might not care so much later on and give you your space. never lie, this is what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 Projection. Cheating has been a part of his past. Unclear as to what capacity. Probably not good relationship material for a healthy person. Sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
jnj express Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 Is this how you wanna spend the rest of your life---locked in a tower w/out friends. He is your jailer, he is trying to control and smother you----RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN----there are millions of NORMAL guys out there. Don't try to talk to him about changing, if he thinks you are leaving he will go your way for a while and then go right back to controlling---he also down the line might get physically abusive----you don't need this kind guy in your life Link to post Share on other sites
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