firefly242424 Posted December 2, 2002 Share Posted December 2, 2002 This is my first time ever writing to such a forum. I don't know who to turn to and need some help. I just dropped my long-distance boyfriend off at the airport (he was visting for THanksgiving). I've never had any reason not to trust him, so here goes. When I got home from the airport, I went on the computer to play some online games on Yahoo and check my email. As usual, I just clicked the "mail" link on yahoo and my boyfriend must not have logged out after he last checked his email because his box popped up. My eyes were drawn to some messages he had received from adult friend finder, and they weren't very innocent. I looks like he opened up an account there and is trying to meet with women in his new hometown. Again, this was all inadvertent on my part and I would have thought to check his email. I mean, I really trust (trusted?) him. Since I found this I did look at one other message, from a while ago from some girl I don't even know but by teh tone of message he sure knows her. They were talking about how much they miss each other and what not. My dilemma is....how do I go about broaching this subject with him without being on the defensive for finding it in the first place. What can I do? I can't even believe this. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted December 2, 2002 Share Posted December 2, 2002 As soon as possible, you need to call him and let him know that when you got home from taking him to the airport you turned on your computer to play some games and check your email when his email account popped on your computer screen. Let him know you were checking to see if he had forgotten important correspondence, to delete some spam or unimportant email and you noticed he had signed up for a dating service and was receiving correspondence from women. Don't even beat around the bush. Let him know you innocently but intentionally read over his mail for the above-stated reasons. Then simply ask him where his mind is at regarding the two of you. You have an absolute right to know. Let him know clearly that you have no interest in him if he's seeking relationships elsewhere but you totally understand why he would seek companionship more near where he lives. I don't think you're going to win in this one. If you interpreted this email correctly, it sounds like he's seeking women in other places and has no intentions of being faithful to you long distance relationship with him. I don't blame him. Long distance relationships suck. You can no longer trust him or what he tells you. I think he's history in your heart even if you don't confront him. It would be a greater pain to him if you just cut off communication without explanation but you may not be able to pull that off. You will be the better for dumping his butt and taking the lead from him in looking for potential dates right there in your area. I'm very sorry this happened to you but it is not uncommon at all. There are many married men who get on their computer when their wife is away from home or asleep...and go wild with trying to find sex partners and having cybersex. Many guys in relationships do this too. The Internet has provided a free and anonymous means of doing many things. Link to post Share on other sites
PrEttYiNPiNk Posted December 3, 2002 Share Posted December 3, 2002 I think u should just be blunt and ask him. Tell him that he left his email on and u saw it. What do u have to lose? Link to post Share on other sites
mighty bop Posted December 3, 2002 Share Posted December 3, 2002 It's obvious he is interested in other girls. Get rid of him! Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted December 3, 2002 Share Posted December 3, 2002 is coming out. I say have some fun with it. Sign up under a fake name and create a profile you'll know he'll go for it. Start writing to him and set up a date. Then meet him on the date. Nuff said. Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted December 4, 2002 Share Posted December 4, 2002 Originally posted by Debster is coming out. I say have some fun with it. Sign up under a fake name and create a profile you'll know he'll go for it. Start writing to him and set up a date. Then meet him on the date. Nuff said. hjahaha That is what I did. My ex cheated on me, so I started sending him email as another women (because he told me he wasn't) and within two days he was asking to meet for sex. Of course he denied it all, but I knew the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
pinkroses Posted December 4, 2002 Share Posted December 4, 2002 breach the subject as soon as possible, or the anger over this betrayal will fester in your heart and come out in your attitude toward your boyfriend. How disheartening that must have been to spend a holiday with him then find this out. I agree with Tony, that you can tell him how you innocently came upon his e-mail and discovered he's looking around. He's already being unfair to you, so don't feel guilty about having seen his e-mail or confronting him, you have that right. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts