need info

[luve]

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years now and get along great. I am in love with him and know that he loves me. Yet I wonder why it is so hard for men to open up, I feel like I open up to him completely to make him feel involved in my life. However he doesn't , he's a great man yet sometimes i wish he would talk to me about his feelings or open up. Sometimes I get frustrated because he will talk about something with his friends that I didn't even know about, yet when i bring it open he will tell me tht he forgot to tell me or that it wasnt a big deal. I am not jealous but wish that he could talk to me more freely so i feel included

[Tony T]

Many men don't open up because they don't want to appear weak to the opposite sex. It's only in recent times that pop psychology and women have encouraged men to be open with their feelings. In times past, this was not a requirement, a desire or an issue.

 

Many men feel that opening up will make them vulnerable and make them less desireable to their women, who look to them for strength and leadership.

 

Great pressures have been put on men these days. There is pressure to make a living, to be emotionally strong, to withstand all kinds of emotional torment for the sake of stability...and now females want them to sit around and pour their emotional guts out for them.

 

Well, men are human. They've been given roles by society and now society wants to change those roles, supposedly. The messages are confusing. Men don't know what's expected of them. They don't know what to expect if they start opening up and showing their innermost feelings. Not all women are prepared to accept what might come out.

 

Lots of men feel that if they show their vulnerabilities and weaknesses women will pounce all over those and use them to their advantage...and that's true in some cases. Other men have been socialized to feel it is way too effiminate to express deep emotions. They hold that stuff inside and die early deaths...women live an average of five years longer than men.

 

Lay off of men for now. Let them evolve in their own time. If you can't handle it, find a man who is already in touch with his feminine side. They are out there but they are rare and inconsistent in that behavior.

 

Every woman everywhere in the world needs to get together, have a convention, and decide exactly what they want from men. Write it out clearly and teach it to men beginning in elementary school. That way, 20 years from now perhaps more women will find men satisfactory and not want to wear themselves out changing them. And hopefully the male species will add five or more years to its life as well. After all, if the sexes are going to be equal in other ways they should have equal lifespans.