JD111 Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 I realize there are many posts on this site regarding this topic, if all of you could read and please give me your advice on what I should do I would greatly appreciate it. I have been dating a girl for a year and a half. In July she went to a camp and hooked up with a counselor within the first 2 days of being there, and hooked up 3 times in the 5 days of being there. She did not previously know this guy, and while they hooked up both were sober. They both claim that they made out on every occasion, she grinded on his lap when they were on a chair and she proceeded to unzip his pants and give him a blowjob. On the last day of the camp, during the morning, they snuck off and went to a stairway in the dorms. While making out with him she continually tried to drag him in the laundry room where she could shut the door. She had told him that she wanted to have sex with him. He wouldn't comply. He also mentioned that she let him play with her clit. Once she came back from camp I knew immediately something was up. She stayed at my house the night after camp, I found through the history log on my computer that she was looking up and down this guy's facebook photo's and page. Following my finding this out I confronted her and she continued to deny this and lie (literally 50-100 times). This lying persisted all the way up until last night. 5 months of lying to my face. I gave her numerous chances to tell me the truth, I said if she did, I'd be willing to try and work through this. She continued with her lying. He has said that she definitely liked him more, told him countless times how much she wished he didn't have a girlfriend and, that if he broke up with his girlfriend in a year, she would leave me for him. Other thing's involved were them talking nearly every day for the following three weeks of camp. She had said that he always talked about eating her out and having sex and she always told him that she'd enjoy that. She also snuck behind my back and went to a friends to go on her webcam where she pulled down her pants and played with herself while he was playing with himself. According to her they talked over webcam 5-10 times. There are several other thing's involved, including text messages, aol instant messaging, etc. Another issue I have is that over this past summer I had several opportunities with other girls where I could have very easily hooked up, and some potentially date... and she is aware of this. However I have been faithful the entire time which makes it difficult. I have told her that I would never cheat on her or hurt her, so her doing this is painful and very disrespectful. To get to the point, my girlfriend cheated on me both physically (making out on a few occasions, gave him a blowjob, let him play with her, told him he liked him better and would leave me for him, told him to break up with his girlfriend and that she wanted to have sex with him), and emotionally. To make matters worse they had talked for roughly a month and a half where they were engaging one another as early couples do. They were "seeing" one another. She was emotionally attached to this guy and was starting to fall. I believe they stopped talking because he finally realized how much he liked his girlfriend and didn't want to chance that relationship. He claims he wants to marry his girlfriend. Bottom line is, had he given her the chance and was single at the time, he said that she would have left me for him, without question. I feel as though I'm second fiddle to him, and now that she can't have him she is begging for me back. She claims that she loves me so much and wouldn't be able to go on without me. And I know she does love me very much. I think she loves me a great deal, that doesn't mean that she is "in love" with me. She also told me she loved me long before that incident, and during their affair. Can I trust someone who has done all of that, on top of lying to me almost 100 times. My trust is broken. Completely. And I have very little idea of what to do. Next year she is heading off to college and will have many more opportunities over a much longer time period. I tell her that she doesn't understand how much she will change and that college is like a buffet. There will be many guys that she will find attractive, cute, funny that she will have crushes on. She claims she would never, ever cheat on me again. How can I believe her? How am I supposed to trust her? Part of me wants to take her back because I do care for her a great deal. She's very attractive, funny and has a great personality. We get along fantastically. However the last five months have been a complete disaster. She wants me back, I think I should move on. Am I setting myself up for a complete disaster? I ask her to answer how her feelings suddenly were lost for this guy, and her only response is "because I love you." That just isn't enough reason for me. Would you give her another chance? Would you ever trust her again? Any responses would be appreciated. Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
Charles1978 Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 There is no way in hell I'd take her back. Not a chance. I can't believe you are even considering it! Seriously man... move on. Sorry to be so blundt, but I read your whole post, and that is one of the most outrageous examples of cheating I have ever heard. Link to post Share on other sites
In Like Flynn Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 Look 10 years from now you will look back at her and realise she was just a bump in the road on your way to finding your future wife. And she is definately not her!!! Either Drop her...because you are 2nd fiddle and always will be and this will happen again when she is at school. Or have her as second fiddle and keep looking for Ms Right!! Look she didn't even get her bags unpacked before she was on her knees to him!!! Also do you really think for a second that you have all the facts on this relationship??? She is with you only because he would rather be with his girlfriend....she didn't breakup with him...big difference. They all say i loved you all along, you are my soulmate etc etc!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 Are you out of your mind? She clearly has absolutly no respect for you whatsoever. She has made a complete mockery of your relationship and totally humiliated you. She is a liar and a cheat. It is clear that she has no respect for you. If you do not respect yourself then who will? If the roles were reversed do you think she would be acting like you? Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 Wow that's the most elaborated cheater story I ever read. It's clearly that not only did she cheated on you but made fun of the whole relationship. In my view, this is another example of the ''Sorry I got caught'' story. I wouldn't take her back if I were you. Lying 1 or twice can be forgiving but 100 TIMES?? Plz do tell me you're not considering giving her a second chance, which you already did when you told her to tell you the truth and all she did when caught was lie, lie and keep lying until she couldn't do anything. If you take her back then she will still have her cake and eat it. Link to post Share on other sites
Posco_Proudfoot Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 Dump the ho. Link to post Share on other sites
PrincessPeach Posted December 18, 2008 Share Posted December 18, 2008 Leave her. No question about it. Link to post Share on other sites
runner Posted December 18, 2008 Share Posted December 18, 2008 wow, talk about TMI Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted December 18, 2008 Share Posted December 18, 2008 Pardner, I can tell you from LONG experiance, (25years) there is nothing worse than playing second fiddle, even if you don't know about it. My ex's actions and behavior over the years were all explained by her LT affiar (predated the marriage). Looking back it was a horrible waste of the best years of my life. Don't do it old son, you have the oppertunity to avoid a lifetime of agnst and pain, take advantage of it. Link to post Share on other sites
LavendarGirl Posted December 18, 2008 Share Posted December 18, 2008 Your GF telling you that she cheated would have been enough. Why did she decide to elaborate on every sexual act that transgressed? Not only do you dump her, but dump her FAST. She's got an incredible mean streak, and she's not going to get any nicer. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted December 18, 2008 Share Posted December 18, 2008 Sounds like an erotic story to me. But assuming this post is for real, only one thing to do. dump this little wh0re. Link to post Share on other sites
allanDR Posted December 19, 2008 Share Posted December 19, 2008 I believe someone else mentioned that you should get rid of the bitch and never talk to her again. She'll appreciate that. Link to post Share on other sites
RRyan65 Posted December 19, 2008 Share Posted December 19, 2008 To get to the point, my girlfriend cheated on me both physically (making out on a few occasions, gave him a blowjob, let him play with her, told him he liked him better and would leave me for him, told him to break up with his girlfriend and that she wanted to have sex with him), and emotionally. After all that physical cheating, theres no need to go into the emotional part of it, lol. Link to post Share on other sites
EmperorR Posted December 19, 2008 Share Posted December 19, 2008 trust me dump the cheater Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted December 20, 2008 Share Posted December 20, 2008 On the 5% chance that you're not a troll, then it's obvious - ditch the bitch. Link to post Share on other sites
Javelin Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 She claims that she loves me so much and wouldn't be able to go on without me. I don't even have to say anything, lemme just quote you... I confronted her and she continued to deny this and lie (literally 50-100 times). 5 months of lying to my face. This lying persisted all the way up until last night. I gave her numerous chances to tell me the truth, I said if she did, I'd be willing to try and work through this. She continued with her lying. She's very attractive, funny and has a great personality. We get along fantastically. Actually she's slutty, flaky, and is a horrible person. Now you tell us that she's going into her freshman year of college and you're considering taking her back after this sober 'camp' episode? Drop this chick man. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 Dump her and thank the lord you didn't get an std from that ho. Link to post Share on other sites
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