Contradictory Signals - What's going on?

[wtfamidoing]

I am a 42 year old male, married to a beautiful woman for 25 years. I recently ran into an old friend (female, also married 25 years) who I hadn't seen since we had a crush on one another as teens. We talked for awhile and exchanged contact info. I emailed her at work about a month later to tell her it was nice to see her again, and she responded with a "lets be sure to keep in touch." We emailed a few more times over the next month or so, and our messages were typically friendly but short.

 

At one point, I asked about some mutual freinds I'd lost touch with and she suggested I come to her upcoming class reunion to catch up with them in person. I told her "though I'd like to go, I have another commitment." She responded with "That's too bad you can't make it. I was looking forward to seeing you. Let's try to get together sometime."

 

We emailed back and forth a few times, (again, initiate by me), and I mentioned that I was going to be in her area soon. We decided to get together at that time, and she asked if I'd rather go out for a drink or come to her house for dinner (and I'm not sure if her husband would have been there - I'd say there was a 50/50 chance.). I opted for the drink. We were out until around 10pm, had a really great time, and both emphatically agreed we would do it again. The next morning, I got an email from her (the first one she ever initiated) saying "It was great to see you!!" (note the two exclamation marks).

 

A few weeks later I was in town again so we made a plan to do lunch, but she had to cancel at the last minute because she was sick and heading home for bed. Shortly after, I tried to set up another lunch with her, but she said it would work better for her if we could go out for a drink after work instead.

 

About a month later, I was in town again, and we arranged to go out after work again. We spoke on the phone that afternoon and she asked if I'd like to come to her house, or meet somewhere for a drink (I'm certain either her husband or one of her kids would have been there at that time). I opted for going out for a few hours again. During the course of the evening, she said that she'd invited her husband to come along, but he didn't want to come (why is he not the least bit concerned about her going out with another man?). Anyway, we had a really nice time, and we both emphatically agreed we would get together yet again.

 

A few more tidbits to give you the full picture... In general, I remember her as being a very nice and straightforward person. We had been emailing back and forth through all of this, and at some point some minor flirting entered into the picture. I would say we're both attractive, intelligent with similar personalities, sense of humor, etc. Each of the two times we've met, she's said a few negative things about her husband, including "I wish I wouldn't have gotten married so young." I took that to mean that if she had it to do over again, she would not have married him.

 

I'm confused! Does she have a romantic interest in me or no? What's this turning into?

[Night is Long]

Hi, I don't think she's into you the way you think she is. You initiated all the emails until recently. As a woman I can tell you that if a woman likes you she will let you know and make it easy for you to reciprocate. I think she likes the attention you are showing her. She probably doesn't get that much attention from her husband. The fact that she invited him along on your date is an indicator of that.

[annieo]

Your wife know about all of these visits? If not, you are not being a very nice man.

And I think she IS giving you mixed feelings because she's not sure how she feels, or perhaps she wants a friendship but she's picking up on your more intense interest and it's freaking her out a little.

[norajane]

She invited her husband, she invited you to her house where her husband and kid/s would also be - you were the one who wanted to see her alone.

 

Don't read too much into someone who is being friendly, and don't project your own feelings of interest onto her.

 

Your beautiful wife of 25 years would probably like to be taken out for drinks and dinner, and to have a man flirt with her....why don't you make that kind of effort to wine and dine and flirt with her? Your chances of success are higher!

[jerbear]

I do not see an romantic interests, more like a friendly gestures.

 

It is like friends that lost touch and getting contact again. Sometimes it seems to be romantic. Just let it be friendly and keep friendly thoughts.

[Ocean-Blue]

Seems fairly innocent to me. She's being friendly and obviously feels comfortable talking to you about some of her "regrets". She knew you as a teen and thus probably doesn't see you as a typical guy. She probably doesn't have her guard up around you.

 

I would not read too much into it.

 

Why is that you're curious about this? You say you're married to a beautiful woman...I assume that means you are happily married? So why the curiosity regarding the friend?

[shadowplay]

I don't understand your post. You should be more concerned about the fact that you're on the verge of cheating on your "beautiful wife" and seem to have no reservations about that than whether this woman is interested or not.

[zilverenvlinder]

I hope you realize what you're getting into.

 

Let's say this woman DOES have an interest in you. Let's say you guys hit it off one night and end up sleeping together. She's going to feel guilty and tell her husband, who's going to call her a dirty skank, etc., and then realize she has been his wife for 25 years and they are going to go to counseling.

 

Women aren't so forgiving. Seeing as your wife is so wonderful and beautiful, she will have no problem divorcing your ass and finding a wonderful and handsome man to take HER out to dinner and drinks. Your Other Woman is going to be working on her marriage while your wife is signing the papers and cashing in her alimony checks.

 

Do you know where you'll be? Trying to sleep off your depression in a one bedroom apartment, lonely and getting older and more and more single by the day.

 

Don't even THINK about it, jackass. You'll regret it. And I'm being mean to you so you will make the RIGHT DECISION. For God's sake.