Should I file a missing-persons report or what?

[rckt365]

Does this not sound a little strange to you?

 

About a week ago I phoned my g/f (LDR) and she was obviously stressed-out about things (at least partly because of the trip-she's coming out to visit me in a week or so), so of course I tried to get her to tell me about what - she just responded "ohh I think about things too much!..." (I gathered it was 'us' that she was thinking 'too much' about).

 

So we discuss when and what time she should book her flight, we decide ... then hang up the phone.

 

Next morning there's an email from her, saying she's booked the flight - and that's it ! She didn't say anything else - that was a week ago now, she hasn't returned my phone calls (two of them) nor has she returned my emails (two of them).

 

I don't believe that she's been abducted or anything BUT why would she not return my messages ? I can understand wanting to get away from thinking about things but - what kind of a sign is this for things to come in our relationship ?

[littlepiggy1]

Sounds like cold feet. Maybe she's having second thoughts?

 

The ball's in her court (assuming nothing extraordinary happened). Give it more time.

[Rooster_DAR]

She has a b/f or is married, that's what happened.

[Sand&Water]

Rckt365,

she just responded "ohh I think about things too much!..."

I have heard this phrase too many times -said to myself and by others.

 

She is telling you that: "My(her) brain is overflowing; I'm stressed out, please leave me alone for some time". Listen to her.

 

Do give her some time, to process things. It is possible that she no longer wants a relationship of this kind.

 

Sand&Water

[rckt365]

Well I've known her long enough to know she's not married, I doubt she's got a b/f either !

And as far as cold feet goes - it was HER idea to come visit me - so why now then ?!

 

She did mention that she had to head back (2-hour drive) to the city she'd recently moved from, for an appointment for today (I think) and was going to visit / stay with some friends that were having a house-warming party, or if not there she was planning on staying with her parents.

 

But what I don't get is what about the days before and after that ?

 

I was supposed to drive 3-hours to pick her up at the airport next Tuesday ? so if I don't hear from her by then - what the hell am I supposed to do then ?

 

I'm at the end of my rope with this girl, and I thought it was going so well - I mean what the .... ?????

[Adunaphel]

Send her an email telling her that if she needs to be left alone for some time it's okay with you, but to please tell you if she is okay because you are worried that something might have happened to her.

 

I don't get why some people have no problems making others worry about them.

[burning 4 revenge]

It's so totally rude to go absolutely silent like that. If someone is having 2nd thoughts, or they just met somebody closer they should have the decency to tell the other person.

[gfto]

The word "girlfriend," alone, doesn't tell us much about your relationship. How long have you known her? Has she specifically asked you to be exclusive with her?

 

Something tells me you met this girl online, met her once or twice, and you're assuming that she's your girlfriend. If that's the case, she hasn't been abducted. She's just not interested.

[Green]

It does sound like maybe he met the girl on the net but he did say he knows for sure she's not married so that sounds like he's known her a little more than just the net even if that is where they met. Look it sux things might be over I'm going through the same thing right now with a girl who things were going great with I had only been dating about a month and bam out of no where she completely stops calling me or returning my 2 messages. I almost wish something bad has happened to her at this point because the more likely truth that she just doesnt give a damn hurts.

[rckt365]

We did meet online, about 8 months ago, and she's gone silent on me before. But then 3-weeks ago I flew out to visit her (she had to go to the effort of driving 3-hours from where she lives to spend time with me). We spent 4 whole days together, had a great time, no sex (because I didn't want to make it about THAT) and no pressure, we agreed to have a 'friends first' policy.

 

As we were driving to the airport she told me several times that she really enjoyed our week together, that she was going to miss me, that she wanted to come visit me, and even (semi-jokingly) mentioned that I was going to have to come back "and meet my (her) parents - now", and then she asked (clarified) "... so if I want to pursue a long term relationship with you ... I going to have to come to ______ (where I live)?" (and she's mentioned before that she be o.k. with moving). And then when she dropped me off at the airport, she waited with me until I had to go through security (even though I told her she didn't even have to come into the terminal). Then just as I was about to go throught security she started crying, then SHE kissed me.

 

Then SHE brought up the whole idea of coming to visit me, in a email that included things such as; "... I really like you a LOT ... I wanna see you again - SOON ... I haven't been able to sleep - thinking about you ..."

 

Does that sound like someone that's not interested ? Because if she's not - then she deserves an oscar.

[gfto]

It does indeed sound like she's interested. The strongest sign is her remark that if she wants to be with you long-term, she'd have to move. How much distance is between you?

[Green]

your screwed probably just using the lack of respect from the whole completely ignoring you thing as an indicator. You should have slept with her mr. I didnt want to make the 4 days about that. Forget her and if you meet more girls online meet them within driving range preferably with in easy driving range. I'm sure you relize how much more convienient that would be and I'm sure you didnt meet a far off girl for the reason she was far off but avoid far off girls when meeting chicks on the net hell a girl sent me a message on myspace the other day saying I was cute and we should meet and she lives 40 minutes away and I'm seriously considering never meeting her even though she looks like she could be real cute in her pictures. Look I feel you pain I was having sex with a girl who lives right here in town and she completely did the same thing to me just stoped calling me back I left 2 messages also and now its just over cause she's an imature bi*ch who just disapears Ieeeeeeeee

[rckt365]

I appreciate the answers everyone, all of your ideas have been running through my head, even before I first posted this, and maybe that's part of the problem ?! (I'm over-thinking it)

 

Maybe she REALLY IS that stressed about what the upcoming trip may mean to her, to us ? Maybe she just needs some time away from over-thinking it ?

If it goes great - then she knows she'll likely (somewhere down the road) have to consider moving 2000 miles from the place she grew up, away from all her friends and family, and that's not an easy thing for anybody.

If it doesn't go well, then she knows she'll have to deal with yet another dating disappointment, I know the prospect of that would disappoint me - so I'm sure it'd be no easier for her !?

 

Like the saying goes - "If you love something, Set it free ... If it comes back, it's yours, If it doesn't, then it never was ..."

 

Sometimes maybe life really is as simple as it seems.

 

Thanks y'all

[whichwayisup]

If something has happened to her, I'm sure she has given a friend or someone in her family your phone number or email address.

 

I think in about another week if you've not heard from her, you send her an email letting her know how irked you are with what she's done, and that if she was having second thoughts, she should have been honest and upfront with you instead of leading you on.

 

Try not to let this upset you. You also don't really "know" this girl too well. She may/may not be seeing someone, but her actions are completely different than her words. That's a red flag.

[rckt365]

Yah, she's got plane tickets for next Tuesday, so I'm gonna call her say Sunday afternoon, if I haven't heard from her, and if I can't get her then I'm gonna email her and tell her how disappointed I am in her ...

 

I know her well enough to know that she's not a liar, but do I know if she's dating another guy ? No - I don't, and because, at this point in our relationship - it really doesn't matter to me - so I've never asked.

 

I'm not so delusional as to expect that an attractive, smart, and fun-loving girl like her - doesn't have plenty of opportunities a lot closer to her than I am, and if that's what this is all about then hey ! - it was nice knowing her - hope she finds someone that's good to her !

 

It'd be a shame to end it like this - but hey - I'll survive !

[Hitman10000]

Yeah, this is why you should never get into a LDR.

[rckt365]

Yah, you know LDR's are bad enough as it is - but when one of the two already starts disappearing for a week at a time - what are the chances of it going ANYWHERE ?

 

For awhile I was pretty hopeful - but - I think I've come back down to reality. There are plenty of fish in the ole water within a half hours drive from my front door so - I'll take from this whatever I can and chalk up the rest as just another life experience.

 

That's all you can do right ? Nothing ventured - Nothing gained !?

[gfto]

if I can't get her then I'm gonna email her and tell her how disappointed I am in her ...

 

Don't do that. It's the same thing as begging. If you don't hear from her, just forget about her. Don't call, e-mail, or anything. Just forget her and find a new girlfriend, or two, or three.