Body language

[Magnatolia]

Hi All,

 

A while back a colleague confirmed that I don't give off an 'openness' vibe, like I give the impression I'm not interesting in talking with people or whatever.

 

I can create conversations with people at work fine though, it's when I'm in public I tend to cross my arms, legs, feet etc and clasp my hands together. I've decided it's time to change my body language so I come across as open and interesting, especially to women. I'm not the best looking guy but I have had some comments on a picture I have on a website, things like cute pic that sort of thing.

 

I'm looking for solid advice, not the general smile, eye contact etc. I'm also going to post specific situations where I want specific advice on what I'm doing wrong and how to rectify it. I'm not obsessing over my body language, it's more that I don't know how I should present myself.

 

Situation 1: When I'm standing on a train, I have two choices. Lean against a wall or hold onto an overhead handle. How should I do this so I come across as open and attract women's attention?

 

Situation 2: When I'm sitting on a seat, how should I present myself? Generally I have my legs either crossed in a figure 4 or flat in front of me. Hands are either palm down resting on legs, or clasped in front of me, or one hand holding the wrist of the other hand.

 

I'm very shy and find it near impossible to approach a women for two reasons (1. I'm too shy and 2. I don't know how to read women's signals). I may post situations that I need your analysis on whether she was interested.

 

Question 1: If I look at a woman (but don't smile), and she catches my eye and holds my eye contact without a smile for at least a second. Is this more than likely a 'showdown/intimidation' type of stare, or is she somewhat interested or at least curious?

 

Once I start to get some knowledge under my belt, this will be much easier.

 

Thanks for reading

[MsArtful]

On a train, It's my opinion that you're more open if you lean against the wall, but don't have arms crossed in front of you.

When you're sitting, just be comfortable (DON'T cross your legs however) and laid back.

If a girl makes eye contact like that with you for more than one second, smile!! She may not be interested, but its a pretty good chance that she is.

Have your shoulders back, head high, but confident and relaxed at the same time. Feel good about yourself. I read some where if you act or pretend to be confident, you'll eventually become confident. The next day I strolled into school shoulders back head high and haven't gone back (i'm quite sociable now). Be yourself, but a more confident version of you.

 

Good luck.

[MsArtful]

- oh, figure 4 leg crossing is fine, but don't cross them like a woman does. I know a couple guys who do that (and aren't gay)... major turn off.

[Magnatolia]

With the woman-style leg crossover, what about if the crossover leg is actually resting on the knee, so it's pointing at a 45 degree angle?

 

I think too, that I need to be emotive with my hands. I don't think I gesture half as much as I should probably be doing.

[MsArtful]

Well.. I'm not sure about it if its at 45 degrees, it's about what makes you feel comfortable though.

Sure be more gestural with your hands if you want, just keep it true to you - don't try and be some one else, just a more confident you.