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Loyal, faithful, and not a gambler is a curse


GoodMantwo

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I am a divorced middle-aged male. I have had three intimate relationships my entire life. The longest was with my Ex-wife lasting over 15 years, and the shortest is my current GF being 6 months. During each of these relationships I have never strayed or been unfaithful because I believe in being faithful to someone you have pledged this too.

 

I believe myself to be an excellent partner in the sense that I am gentle, understanding, with a good sense of humor, in the top 1% of wage earners, and in excellent physical shape. Once I become involved with someone, I feel a sense of loyalty to that person.

 

The problem is that I am simply not a gambler. I feel that I have missed out on meeting many wonderful women because once I find one that I think is attractive, and is basically compatible with me, I get into a comitted relationship, and I adhere to that comittment, and do not leave unless the relationship is clearly not working out.

 

In my current relationship, we decided to be comitted very quickly after meeting. She is a beautiful beautiful woman, but time has shown me that she is not the most accomodating person in the world. I would summarize her personality by saying she is a beautiful woman and she knows it, and reminds me of this frequently. I am the type of person that is quite accomodating, so I find that I can adapt to different people.

 

I have the feeling like there are definitely other woman out there that may be a better personality match with me, but my fear that moving on is a gamble prevents me from leaving. I think this was the case during the period I dated my Ex-wife prior to getting married. I would also say that I probably would have been happy to continue on in my marriage had not a couple of issues exposed my ex-wife as being unbelievable selfish to me that I decided I could not continue in the marriage.

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HA!!! You think your ex wife was selfish...this lady you're with now is equally self centered if not more so. Yes, you're able to adapt because you're a passive guy, a giver and it makes you happy to accomodate people. But when the person you're married to or dating is sucking up all your energy and giving very little in return it gets old real fast.

 

DUMP this girl you're with now. You've already made a serious mistake marrying your ex and staying with her so long. PAY ATTENTION!!! Cut it off right now with this one and keep looking! Yes, you are right, there are many very kind, generous, thoughtful, reciprocating and humble ladies out there who would be very good for you and leave you feeling refreshed and with energy to spare.

 

You might also check to see if YOU yourself are creating these monsters. If you're way to generous and accomodating with any human, they will ultimately take you for granted, take advantage of you and rip you apart. Don't be so nice. Be a good person but keep the energy flowing both ways.

 

Get some cojones (balls) and start asking for what you want in relationships and STOP giving so much. If a relationship isn't equally balanced, it's simply not meant to be. It sounds like you know the drill, you're just finding hard to change you're old self. Well, if you want to be miserable you're entire life, keep finding women like the one you're dating now.

 

Tell her she may be beautiful...but she's also HISTORY!!! haha!

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GoodMantwo;

 

Every person is drawn to someone they find visually appealing. It sounds as though you automatically fall into long-term committed relationships without getting to know the person.

 

Beauty is skin deep. You have to learn the depths of a person's soul to truly know them. From your description it sounds as though your girlfriend is shallow and uses her beauty to keep you. It also sounds as though you realize this and are not happy in your current relationship. Being accommodating is a two-way street in a relationship...remember that.

 

Any relationship is a gamble. But you have to play out the cards to find your best hand. And never accept so little when there is so much more to be given to you.

 

Relationships are supposed to be mutually beneficial. Take your time in the future. Find someone who fits everything you are looking for before you become committed. You already know what happens when you jump to soon; so take your time. Try not to do it again for your own happiness.

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superconductor

Dude, if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten.

 

Are you happy with the results?

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