Afraid He Will Leave

[CinderellaElla]

All my life, i;ve seen terrible things happen with my family in realtionships.

And iam worried i've been badly affected by all of it.

 

Iam 17 years old, and iam pertrified to date or even get too close to a guy.

When i want to, i always end up running away, and i have no control over it.

 

I am always worried that they guy is not telling me the truth, becuz sometimes words are just words, and they dont mean a thing.

 

Also i feel bad becuz my dad always says that i cant be near a guy becuase he'll rape me, or i'll go like other girls and let the guy become in control and i will be nothing.

 

My mom says that iam just too picky, and that when she was my age she would have loved a guy to look at her, and that i have that and that iam stupid becuz i dont give all of them a chance.

 

Truth is, if you dont like the guy why go with him, and i do like some guys, i do, but it's just that i only can get soo close and i freakout. Iam very self-sufficent.

 

The thing is i really want to be in a realtionship, but iam scared to be in one, becuz iam afraid that i will like him, and he wont like me as much, or it'll be the other way around, which usually thats what it is.

 

My friends are getting mad at me all the time too, becuz they all think iam crazy and weird to not want a man sometimes in my life.

 

I dont know what to do anymore. Please of u have any advice for me, it'll be greatly appreciated.

[brickaney]

I think in any relationship there is always a fear, whether its big or small, of what the other person is thinking. But that's why communication in a relationship is so important. Guys usually mean exactly what they say. They don't think the same as women do, they're usually simple and practical and expect us to understand that. This doesn't mean men aren't deep and understanding because they are. From what I've read from you it seems like you're too scared to take a chance with your emotions. All I can tell you is that you won't get anywhere if you don't take risks. You can't make friends with people unless you open yourself up to them and put yourself out there right? So why would it be any different when starting a relationship with someone? If things don't work out then it just wasn't meant to happen. Don't blame it on yourself or anyone else, it just didn't work out. I found my relationship struggled a lot when I became paranoid that my boyfriend would leave me. He got annoyed with my neediness and he felt less attracted to me because I was acting so insecure. After I realized how I was effecting him I started taking chances and pretending I was confident and secure. After a short while my boyfriend stopped acting distant and acted really loving. You don't necessarily need to open yourself up completely to a guy. You can approach a relationship in a slower, safer manner. I'm just saying that taking the risk of letting your emotions out will be much more fulfilling than sitting at home, worrying about all the bad things that could happen. You'll never be completely sure of anything. You just have to have trust and faith in the person to love you and they will.