SunshineInRain Posted August 9, 2006 Share Posted August 9, 2006 So far i had 3 dates with this guy. On the 2nd and 3rd date he talked about some of his ex girlfriends. Not to brag about it or anything, but when were talking about certain topics that related to his stories about the girls he used to date, he told them to me. Like when we talked about my family (i'm asian), he told me about his ex in highschool that was also asian and how her parents treated him. Also when we talked about "hairy situation" he told me about this gorgeous but hairy girl he used to date. And when we talked about his plan to go to the beach, he kept talking about how his ex wanted to go to the beach too at the same weekend and he doesnt wanna run into her, and he told me how he met her, the situation when he was together with her and all, even though he didnt seem interested in her anymore. Is this a good sign or bad sign for me? He is an open guy and i like it, but talking about exes? Does it mean he only sees me as a friend? Link to post Share on other sites
nicki Posted August 9, 2006 Share Posted August 9, 2006 He could just be trying to show you how open he is, or relate situations that show him to be a good boyfriend. Unless he is going on and on about how wonderful an ex was, or crying over her, I wouldn't worry. But, you can train him not to talk about exes. Who wants to hear about them? Not me. Unless a guy wants to share his general relationship history and why things didn't work out with past partners....but that kind of conversation usually comes in bits and pieces after you have gotten to know someone. The first few dates are always ex-free zones. So train him not to talk about exes by not responding when he mentions them. Don't ask questions or seem interested. Even frown a little bit, like you are confused as to what that has to do with anything. Then change the subject, smile and enjoy another topic of conversation. He will soon get the hint. Link to post Share on other sites
Hitman10000 Posted August 9, 2006 Share Posted August 9, 2006 He sounds like a wussy boy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SunshineInRain Posted August 9, 2006 Author Share Posted August 9, 2006 He sounds like a wussy boy. LOL, why does he sound wussy? I like him though, he's not wussy at all Link to post Share on other sites
Bobbie Posted August 9, 2006 Share Posted August 9, 2006 I think telling a couple of anecdotes is ok, obsessing boasting or offloading isn't. And it's too soon to tell much about him really. Take it slowly if you're getting strange vibes! I just read a book called A Fine Romance about courtship, the author says the one thing which ruins dating is being too hung up on the outcome, just go out and enjoy the person's company and get to know them. I would ask someone before date no. 1 if they are married or have a girlfriend and let them know my status, but that's usually it on exes for a few meetings I'd say, until you get a bit more intimate, and then only really telling the basics. No gory details. Anyone who bad-mouthes an ex to a potential new partner I'd say either isn't over them properly or isn't very nice! Link to post Share on other sites
arniebuteft Posted August 9, 2006 Share Posted August 9, 2006 This doesn't sound too excessive, he's just tossing info into the conversation when it's appropriate. A warning sign is when a date talks about exes in a resentful or, worse, lamentful way. If he sounds like he wishes his last relationship hadn't ended, he's probably not over it. And if he's bad-mouthing past exes, keep in mind you could be getting the same treatment in a few months. Link to post Share on other sites
everybody_chill Posted August 10, 2006 Share Posted August 10, 2006 And if he's bad-mouthing past exes, keep in mind you could be getting the same treatment in a few months. Only if you treat him badly like his ex did. Link to post Share on other sites
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