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How can I ask him without putting a pressure on him?


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My boyfriend and I have been in a long-distance relationship for the second half of our relationship. However, I know and I think he knows that we might need to come to some kind of decision or at least idea of how to solve this distance between us. We both live in Europe, however, he has been talking about a dream of going to work to N.Y.C. for a while just to see how it is. I don't want to stop him from that but I also don't want to loose him and certainly I don't want to give up on our relationship because of a distance. We have just spent the most wondeful weekend and he has been so sweet to me and we are both very happy now as we had some arguments before due to my insecurities. I don't want to spoil the feeling we are having now but it's also eating me inside. I want to ask him whether he considers our relationship when thinking about going to work in N.Y.C. or whether we should think about the solutions together but I don't know how? I don't want to spoil anything? please help.

I don't want this to lead to an argument or a fight. I want to be under a control of my emotions in case he says something I might not like.. How can I ask in a calm, trusting and accepting way so it shows I love him and I want him to be be happy but also don't want to loose him and I wouldn't mind planning things together in a light way? Any ideas on how to present him the question in a respectful way?

 

Thank you.

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He might be considering your relationship but hasn't said so if he's only just started thinking about NYC. If he were wanting your opinion or to make plans together, he'd ask you. If he hasn't asked, you might want to wait a little while...

 

...from a practical standpoint, he might not be able to pull it off. NYC is an extremely expensive place, so unless he's got friends or family he can live with, the odds of him being able to find a job that would pay enough for him to live there are pretty slim. I'm guessing he'd be on a temp visa? Even if he got a work permit, there aren't that many employers that would hire someone on for a temp job that would pay enough for him to live there.

 

Give him time to look into it, and see what happens. He'll come to you if he wants to talk about how this will affect you.

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