lovely22 Posted July 23, 2006 Share Posted July 23, 2006 I notice that in relationships I have always been the good girl, treated my man with a great deal of respect, basically took care of him and did whatever I could to make him happy. No matter how much of a good woman I was, I always end up being cheated on, the guy leaves me for someone else, or the guy who always treats me like crap. I even had one guy tell me that I was too good. I just spoke to my cousin today, and she stated that I was a goodie 2 shoes. I am the kind of woman that is classy, I know that there is a place and time for everything, I don't fight because I feel like I have more things to worry about in life than to sit there to fight with anyone, however I do speak my mind. I don't smoke, I drink occassionally, I am overall a good woman, and my mother raised me well and that's why I can say I have a really good job, I am in school doing what needs to be done to have a successful future. My boyfriend is use to having the bad girls, his ex is the kind of girl who would fight for him and do whatever she can to keep him, she even tried to attack me twice. And I honestly feel that she has a part of him that I will never have. She's way more controlling and aggressive than me, and I notice that he still puts up with her, but when it comes to me he doesn't. It's hurtful to know that no matter how much of a good person I am, I always seem to be the one hurt in the end. I continue to be a great person with hopes that I will find someone just as great as me. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted July 23, 2006 Share Posted July 23, 2006 I continue to be a great person with hopes that I will find someone just as great as me. Sounds like a plan to me. I think it's much better to be respected for who you are, rather than for playing games and theatrics. But that doesn't mean that it's a boring approach. Real life can be interesting and challenging enough! Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted July 23, 2006 Share Posted July 23, 2006 I notice that in relationships I have always been the good girl, treated my man with a great deal of respect, basically took care of him and did whatever I could to make him happy. No matter how much of a good woman I was, I always end up being cheated on, the guy leaves me for someone else, or the guy who always treats me like crap. I even had one guy tell me that I was too good. I just spoke to my cousin today, and she stated that I was a goodie 2 shoes. I am the kind of woman that is classy, I know that there is a place and time for everything, I don't fight because I feel like I have more things to worry about in life than to sit there to fight with anyone, however I do speak my mind. I don't smoke, I drink occassionally, I am overall a good woman, and my mother raised me well and that's why I can say I have a really good job, I am in school doing what needs to be done to have a successful future. My boyfriend is use to having the bad girls, his ex is the kind of girl who would fight for him and do whatever she can to keep him, she even tried to attack me twice. And I honestly feel that she has a part of him that I will never have. She's way more controlling and aggressive than me, and I notice that he still puts up with her, but when it comes to me he doesn't. It's hurtful to know that no matter how much of a good person I am, I always seem to be the one hurt in the end. I continue to be a great person with hopes that I will find someone just as great as me. Just continue to be yourself. Don't ever change who you are just in hopes of having a good relationship. No one ever said that it would be easy to find the right kind of guy. Many of us will have numerous relationships, some more than others before meeting the right kind of person. Don't get frustrated, it is the guys loss and not yours if they decide to cheat on you. Link to post Share on other sites
Dataniel Posted July 23, 2006 Share Posted July 23, 2006 Are you really a "goodie 2 shoes" good girl, or are you just going for the really bad guys? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovely22 Posted July 23, 2006 Author Share Posted July 23, 2006 Well I would just say that I am good girl, not a goodie 2 shoes. But I ask my boyfriend if he thought I was a goodie 2 shoes and he said yea, and I ask to him to elaborate more on why he thinks that. He tells me that I don't do anything bad, I guess because I am not like his ex fighting every girl that looks his way, or always trying to attack him. I didn't fight her the two times she came at me because I was honestly thinking of my future and the things that I can lose if I did fight. This girl has absolutely nothing to lose so she can be bad all she wants. But for some apparent reason this seems to be what he likes, I am the total opposite. And I can actually say that I have not had anyone in my life that wanted to fight me because of me being a bad person, it was more on jealousy but who has time for those childish games. I just look at myself as a woman who no time for childishness (made that word up there), I am all about doing what I can to be a successful woman, where one day I will meet a guy who will be completely into me just because of who I am as an individual. I just hate the fact that she has something over him, and I am trying to get him to see that he has a good woman, and he doesn't need a bad girl to be happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted July 23, 2006 Share Posted July 23, 2006 Well I would just say that I am good girl, not a goodie 2 shoes. But I ask my boyfriend if he thought I was a goodie 2 shoes and he said yea, and I ask to him to elaborate more on why he thinks that. He tells me that I don't do anything bad, I guess because I am not like his ex fighting every girl that looks his way, or always trying to attack him. I didn't fight her the two times she came at me because I was honestly thinking of my future and the things that I can lose if I did fight. This girl has absolutely nothing to lose so she can be bad all she wants. But for some apparent reason this seems to be what he likes, I am the total opposite. And I can actually say that I have not had anyone in my life that wanted to fight me because of me being a bad person, it was more on jealousy but who has time for those childish games. I just look at myself as a woman who no time for childishness (made that word up there), I am all about doing what I can to be a successful woman, where one day I will meet a guy who will be completely into me just because of who I am as an individual. I just hate the fact that she has something over him, and I am trying to get him to see that he has a good woman, and he doesn't need a bad girl to be happy. You can only do so much to try and get him to see what he has. The rest is up to him to figure out on his own. To me it sounds like he is still hung up on his ex. If she is acting the way that she is, she should not be a part of his life. Do you really want a guy who is still hung up on his ex? Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted July 23, 2006 Share Posted July 23, 2006 Maybe he doesn't need a bad girl to be happy, but needs drama of some sort to hold his interest. Maybe he is easily bored with the normal life. Maybe he feels it lacks excitement. He may be one of those people who always needs to stir things up. If he is like this, it is in no way a reflection upon you. Do yourself a favor and hold out for a more stable, loving guy. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted July 23, 2006 Share Posted July 23, 2006 When a guy says you're a goodie two shoes, or that you're too good, that means you don't color outside the lines, and that you don't seem to have human 'flaws'...that can be irritating or intimidating to some men. I think you're doing everything right except for one thing: you are choosing the wrong men to get into relationships with, and once in them, you are accepting crap. Set your standards for men as high as the ones you've set for yourself. This boyfriend with the violent ex? He is bringing crap into your life via the ex. Let him go; don't allow more bad things into your life. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted July 23, 2006 Share Posted July 23, 2006 I am all about doing what I can to be a successful woman, where one day I will meet a guy who will be completely into me just because of who I am as an individual. I just hate the fact that she has something over him, and I am trying to get him to see that he has a good woman, and he doesn't need a bad girl to be happy. He's wrong for you. Totally wrong. Bad enough when someone picks at your flaws, but going out with a guy who mocks your very best qualities....what could be more destructive? The more you try to make him see things your way, the more he'll resist in a way that's likely to knock your confidence down the tube. Please rethink the wisdom of working for this guy's validation. You'll get much better elsewhere. Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 I agree with the above posters. I think you need to find someone who's more in line with your views on life. I think it's about passion. Not the goody two shoes philosophy. I think most people have a mental picture of the never do wrong person who blissfully wanders through life. The ex? She has Passion! She isn't afraid to show it. And she'll do whatever is necessary to get what she wants. I think that's why she has a place in your bf heart that you don't hold. She wants your bf and is willing to lose her freedom to get him. But you're reluctant to lose your self-image for him. I'm not saying your wrong. But describing the idea behind why your bf's ex keeps a portion of his attention, and you don't hold the same. Sometimes we just want to feel that our partner is as passionate about us as they are about their own life. His ex is willing to go to jail to keep him. But you won't risk tarnishing your image for him. Like I said... you're not wrong in what your doing. But I think someone who fits your ideals and outlook on life a little closer would make you feel more accepted for who you are. And you won't feel as though you're competing with an ex like your bf's, because some one who see's life more like you do wouldn't link passion and crazy as the same. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 I think it's about passion....The ex? She has Passion! She isn't afraid to show it. And she'll do whatever is necessary to get what she wants. I think that's why she has a place in your bf heart that you don't hold. She wants your bf and is willing to lose her freedom to get him. But you're reluctant to lose your self-image for him. That's a tremendously good point, actually. I think you're right to give the proviso that passion shouldn't be confused with crazy. Passion is that little bit of fire in a person's eyes that says "Don't you dare make me fight for you, but I would fight for you if it came to the crunch." Crazy just sounds like the poster's bf's ex. All over the place with her unrestrained violence and anger. Link to post Share on other sites
riobikini Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 re: Lindya: " He's wrong for you. Totally wrong. Bad enough when someone picks at your flaws, but going out with a guy who mocks your very best qualities....what could be more destructive? The more you try to make him see things your way, the more he'll resist in a way that's likely to knock your confidence down the tube. Please rethink the wisdom of working for this guy's validation. You'll get much better elsewhere." Lindya's advice was worth re-posting. Golden, actually. Let it sink in. -Rio Link to post Share on other sites
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