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Old 14th June 2006, 5:46 PM   #1
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Men and Emotional Connection and sex

I know it is a pretty common statement to say that men don't attach emotions to sex in the same way that women do.

Are there men that disagree with this?

Any men that are uncomfortable having sex for sex sake?
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Old 14th June 2006, 6:23 PM   #2
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Sure there are men that do not have sex for the sake of just getting laid.

My H is one....... went 4 years without even trying to get laid. Even with offers from many women that he considered either too ditzy, too much baggage, or just not attracted to them at all.
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Old 14th June 2006, 6:29 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by clynn
I know it is a pretty common statement to say that men don't attach emotions to sex in the same way that women do.

Are there men that disagree with this?

Any men that are uncomfortable having sex for sex sake?
Of course there. Its a big world out there. Lots of men just want sex for the pleasure and lots of men will only have sex with someone that they care for and love.
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Old 14th June 2006, 7:20 PM   #4
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Last guy I was with actually turned me down initially (meaning for sex)because he wanted to be sure that he wanted to take that step emotionally. it was annoying at the time cuz he had hinted that we were gonna...so then when it didn't happen, it was like wtf?? Some men actually do attach feeling to it. Of course I'm sure most people can detach emotion if they really want to, but personally, I'd rather have emotions behind it.

Jennifer
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Old 14th June 2006, 7:54 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by clynn
I know it is a pretty common statement to say that men don't attach emotions to sex in the same way that women do.

Are there men that disagree with this?

Any men that are uncomfortable having sex for sex sake?
I wouldn't, and couldn't, and haven't had sex "just to do it". I don't separate the physical act from the person I'm having it with. It's just not in my emotional/ethical behavior to do so. It's too much like objectifying someone, in my book. Based upon the number of men who admit to having casual sex (something like 25%-30% in surveys), I don't believe that most men really would either. However, I think more men than women can and do separate their emotions from sex. Infidelity is an example of this phenomenon. More men than women admit to being unfaithful (and for different reasons), but do most all men cheat? I don't think they do. Then again, I could be wrong...
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Old 14th June 2006, 7:58 PM   #6
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I've met one who doesn't like casual sex and I dated him. Every other guy I've ever come across in my age group all have casual sex.
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Old 14th June 2006, 8:52 PM   #7
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I read an article in a magazine that said that if guys have too many sex partners, they are more likely to separate themselves from the emotional part of it. I believe it too. How else could a man get to know someone for months, then have sex, then say they didn't feel anything? I think he had WAY too many partners in the past!
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Old 15th June 2006, 2:50 PM   #8
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I know I do, or at least the emotions I experience are not particularly related to romance or love. Biologically, I just don't think I'm wired for it.

But I'm glad that [most][more] women do -- it's a civilizing experience.
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Old 15th June 2006, 3:09 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by clynn
I know it is a pretty common statement to say that men don't attach emotions to sex in the same way that women do.
For me there are two types of sex....the sex with someone you love and the sex with someone you don't love. Both types have their pros and cons but one is not better than the other.
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Old 15th June 2006, 3:13 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alphamale
For me there are two types of sex....the sex with someone you love and the sex with someone you don't love. Both types have their pros and cons but one is not better than the other.
Damn Alpha were we separated at birth?

I agree 100%. Which is probably weird to many because I do not have a penis. (2 in my drawer tho)
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Old 15th June 2006, 3:14 PM   #11
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I've had both. I like sex with someone you love MUCH better.
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Old 15th June 2006, 3:18 PM   #12
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hmm.. I must have a magnet for men who can't emotionally connect.

Damn.. I find all the rotten apples in the bottom of the barrel.
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Old 15th June 2006, 3:24 PM   #13
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Don't the books say, "Women need to have emotional intimacy in order to have sex, and men need sex in order to get to emotional intimacy?"

In a casual sex relationship, I do believe most men have no need for emotions, while most women do. Obviously, there are many exceptions, but it works as a general rule.

I also see, though, that in a long-term relationship, men become more emotional over time and develop emotional intimacy with their partners through sex. Then, they have a harder time letting go if the relationship ends.
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Old 15th June 2006, 3:27 PM   #14
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I'm going to get flamed for this, but I think that men who attach no emotion to sex are WAY more likely to cheat. AND they will expect you to forgive, because it "didn't mean anything, and it's only natural for men to want to spread their seed, stop being so insecure." And they are also likely to have a double standard, i.e., expect complete faithfulness from you while they f around.
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Old 15th June 2006, 3:29 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alphamale
For me there are two types of sex....the sex with someone you love and the sex with someone you don't love. Both types have their pros and cons but one is not better than the other.
Quote:
Originally Posted by a4a
Damn Alpha were we separated at birth?

I agree 100%. Which is probably weird to many because I do not have a penis. (2 in my drawer tho)
I feel similar.... i used to not let myself get emotional connected when i first started having sex, but the guys were the casual types as well.
nowadays...... well since the break up with my ex of 3.5 years, and with my new bf..... i am emotionally involved.
i think the later is better. i feel more comfortable, which means i relax more, let myself go a little more.....cum more often, etc.....

casual sex is fun..... but sex with someone you feel for is better.
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