Diver012 Posted May 21, 2006 Share Posted May 21, 2006 I met this girl at work. We are both professionals with good paying jobs. I wasnt even trying to date this woman, it just happened. There was a Christmas part and I invited her. I thought it would be cool to hang out with her. Well, the Christmas part got canceled the day it was supposed to happen. I called her and told her the party was off, but if she still wanted to, we could go out ourselfs and grab a few beers. The relationship took off from there. After a couple more dates, we started seeing each other every single day. I would drive to her house every day. We soon started spending the night over at eachothers houses. We started talking about taking trips together, the possibility of marriage, ect.. Valentines day roles around, and she writes me this letter telling me how important I am in her life. How much she is in love with me and wants to spend many more valentines days together. It touched my heart deepely. I was falling in love. No major fights, 1 or 2 little spats, I thought everything was going perfect. This is about 4.5 months into the relationship. She supposed to come over and spend the night. She never shows up. I call, she doesnt answer. Next day, I get a call, my feelings have changed. Everythings different. Its over. No further explanation than that. She says she doesnt know what happened. Im left standing there with a broken heart. I have no idea what just hit me. 2 weeks ago we were talking about marriage. Now she doesnt love me anymore? I just bought a book called Hes scared Shes Scared. I think it will give me some insight. I was wondering what your opinions are on my story... In pain.. Diver012 Link to post Share on other sites
MadDog Posted May 21, 2006 Share Posted May 21, 2006 Yeah, I'd say she's probably afraid of getting hurt and isn't ready for a relationship. The problem is, you can't do anything about it. There's nothing you can say or do that will reassure her and will make her ready to be with you again. Your best bet at this point is to take her word for it when she says her feelings have changed. The worst thing you can do is to try to "win her over" by being good to her, telling her you need her, etc. You should try to move on. If she comes around in the future and wants a second shot, you'll have to reevaluate whether it's worth it for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Sand&Water Posted May 21, 2006 Share Posted May 21, 2006 Diver012, Are you sure, she hasn't found someone else? It's possible, that another man swept her off her feet. Likely or not likely, I say you should move on. From the information you've given, I think she's scared of sharing her love with you. Depending on her age, maturity, and past relationships she's at a point in her life where she isn't sure whether getting into a serious relationship is the best influence for her. Let her cool off for sometime. Meanwhile, move forward in your life. Don't expect anything. Hope for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Diver012 Posted May 21, 2006 Author Share Posted May 21, 2006 Thanks for your replies. We are both in our mid to upper 30's. I considered the possibility that she met someone else. I think that actually is most likely what happened. Its just tough hearing I Love you in the morning, and hearing I dont love you that evening. Link to post Share on other sites
Tim'sAngel Posted May 21, 2006 Share Posted May 21, 2006 Thanks for your replies. We are both in our mid to upper 30's. I considered the possibility that she met someone else. I think that actually is most likely what happened. Its just tough hearing I Love you in the morning, and hearing I dont love you that evening. This women sounds very fickle. Talking about marriage after only 4 and a half months is a huge red flag that something isn't right. Usually relationships that are too good to be true usually are. You can't possibly know someone well enough to make the decision to commit yourself to marriage w/them in that short of time. I know in rare cases it works out, but that is a serious gamble. I know it hurts now, but be glad you found out how fickle she was before you guys got married and children entered the scene! Good luck with finding the love of your life that will love you forever, not for a few months! Link to post Share on other sites
Vertex Posted May 21, 2006 Share Posted May 21, 2006 Women can do this sometimes... but in my experience, when a girl has a rapid change of heart, it's because they are confused people who don't know what they want. Usually it can either be a sign of emotional immaturity or a simple fact of being unable to handle a relationship. Or, as said earlier, she could have found someone else. No matter what the case is, your worst move right now is to continue contacting her in hopes she will come back. This will drive her away. Try to move on and keep occupied in other things... if you pull away, then she will come to you if there's actually a future to be had. Otherwise, it sounds like a relationship that started with a bang and ended just as quickly. Link to post Share on other sites
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