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Seeing someone else if there's no commitment...


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I need some common sense advice from the forum. Here's the situation I find myself in. I'm divorced and I've met a couple of different women through online sites. I've gone out with one quite a bit and she's spent the night with me the other I've gone out with a few times but we haven't gotten very intimate at all but she's hinted that she'd like to. I haven't spoken to the first woman about commitments or anything and she hasn't said anything to me about it. If I go out with the second woman and we do fool around am I breaking the first woman's trust even though we don't have a commitment? Someone straighten me out before I screw everything up with both of them.

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From what I've read of others opinions on here, and my own opinion... dating other women is not a problem until sex enters the equation. So if you're just dating the "main" girl, and have dates set up on the side.. then no problem. If you are haveing sex with the "main" girl, and want to get hanky with all the other girls... then big problem.

 

IMO, you can't 100% guarantee that the women you are sleeping with are free of any STD's and you're putting the health of all the women at risk. (Not to mention yourself). So you may as well hold a gun to her head and pull the trigger every time you have sex with her.

 

I personally think there's some grey area with "fooling" around. I have a unspoken rule that as long as I'm not giving or recieving oral sex, or having sexual intercourse with another person, then I'm not required to tell the other people I am dating. If I want that to change, then I have to either tell, or stop seeing the others. (Prior to becoming exclusive with someone).

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Back up to Square One.

 

When you began dating the first woman, whom, by the way, I see you have gone out with 'a bit' more- did either one of you indicate to the other, either online or in-person exactly what kind of relationship you were, possibly, looking for?

 

If you did, and you were each looking for an exclusive dating partner, and you kept dating her, you set yourself a precedent and gave an unspoken commitment by continuing to date her, -and even began a sexual relationship with her, perhaps, giving further credibility to that idea.

 

If neither of you had any expectations from the initial point of the encounter onward into the relationship, -even past the point of sleeping together, and if it was clear between you that you would continue to see other people, then you may be OK, under those circumstances.

 

Yet, I remind you that dating several women, and sleeping with most or all of them, is not a lifestyle without risks.

 

Risk of getting STD's, one or more of the women becoming emotionally attached, and other problems can occur.

 

But, of course, if you are an active online dater, you are already aware of those risks.

 

Date responsibly.

 

(Smile)

 

Take Care.

 

-Rio

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