resentment006 Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 Is it really hard to find women who can put up with the fact that I don´t desire to have sex with them at all? I still want to have a girlfriend but I don´t want sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Sunshine2003 Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 Why do you not desire sex? Do you just have a low sex drive? I would tell you that you need to compromise if you have a girlfriend in this area. Or find a woman who doesn't want sex..... But, you'll just have to remember that if she wants it sometimes then you're going to have to compromise.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author resentment006 Posted February 4, 2006 Author Share Posted February 4, 2006 Or I could advise her to find a friend with benefits on the side and still stay with me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author resentment006 Posted February 4, 2006 Author Share Posted February 4, 2006 Why do you not desire sex? Do you just have a low sex drive? I would tell you that you need to compromise if you have a girlfriend in this area. Or find a woman who doesn't want sex..... But, you'll just have to remember that if she wants it sometimes then you're going to have to compromise.... Well a couple reasons. I think mainly because I work a 10 hour a day job 5 days a week. I stand on my feet and when I get home I just want to unwind and relax. I'm not in the mood to have sex. Sex consumes alot of my energy and I don't have the energy for it after a long day at work. Another reason is that I don't want to have children at all. The only guarantee I have of not getting her pregnant is to abstain from any sexual contact whatsoever. I am of the belief that there is no such thing as safe sex and using protection because there is still the risk of something going wrong. I suppose a third reason is because alot of women turn sex into a reward. I have no desire to sleep with a woman who thinks that having sex with me is her way of rewarding me. Link to post Share on other sites
Cassiodorus Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 Or I could advise her to find a friend with benefits on the side and still stay with me. Do you have no respect for yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 You wouldn't be jealous if your g/f had a fwb? That's very strange if you ask me. I know this is personal (don't answer if you don't want to) but do you masturbate? I think there's more to this than the reasons you've given...just a hunch. Link to post Share on other sites
BlahBlahQueen Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 There's nothing wrong with being asexual; but your best bet in your case is to find one of those chicks who don't believe in premarital sex. Hard to find nowadays, but they do exist... especially in churches and whatnot... Link to post Share on other sites
noclobber Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 Is it really hard to find women who can put up with the fact that I don´t desire to have sex with them at all? I still want to have a girlfriend but I don´t want sex. girlfriend means that you have sex with that person, otherwise she is just your friend that happens to be a girl! Link to post Share on other sites
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 girlfriend means that you have sex with that person, otherwise she is just your friend that happens to be a girl! Uh, no. Girlfriend means you're testing this person out to see what kind of longer-term commitment you want from them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TeaCooler Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 but what if he still doesn't want to have sex after marriage? i think he should first find out what's going. a person, even a person who works a lot, should have a normal, healthy sex drive. if he doesn't, it may be an indicator of something physically or mentally wrong. maybe not, but it couldn't hurt to check it out. after you find out what the deal is, your situation might be different. or it might be the same, but at lease you'll know you have certain preferences that you will not compromise. Link to post Share on other sites
noclobber Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 Uh, no. Girlfriend means you're testing this person out to see what kind of longer-term commitment you want from them. hmmm... so if you date a girl you are not going to have sex with her? how is the girl you date different from the girl that you hang out with as friends? Link to post Share on other sites
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 hmmm... so if you date a girl you are not going to have sex with her? how is the girl you date different from the girl that you hang out with as friends? Because one hopes that after dating someone for long enough and getting to know them well enough, one will fall in love with them. People generally don't fall in love with their friends (or if they do, it becomes an awkward friendship). Link to post Share on other sites
TeaCooler Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 hmmm... so if you date a girl you are not going to have sex with her? how is the girl you date different from the girl that you hang out with as friends? maybe an emotional connection? you can still get butterflies and feel sexual about a person without having to screw them silly. it's called chemistry. and it's a way different feeling than what you have for your friends. do you really think the only thing separating friendship from love is sex? i think that's kind of sad. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
noclobber Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 maybe an emotional connection? you can still get butterflies and feel sexual about a person without having to screw them silly. it's called chemistry. and it's a way different feeling than what you have for your friends. do you really think the only thing separating friendship from love is sex? i think that's kind of sad. No, i don't think that sex is the only thing that separates friendship and relationship. What I am trying to say here is sex is the bedrock of a relationship!! The butterflies and the chemistry that you mentioned about is true but its in the beginning stage... when you realize that you are attracted to that person. But once she is your girlfriend what is wrong in having sex with her? A modern woman does everything that she does with her boyfriend with a male friend... the only thing that she doesn't do is have sex with her friend! I know it sounds crude but I guess that's the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
TeaCooler Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 A modern woman does everything that she does with her boyfriend with a male friend... the only thing that she doesn't do is have sex with her friend! I know it sounds crude but I guess that's the truth. wow. that's certainly not the truth in my book. i don't hold my friend's hands, i don't kiss my friends. i don't cuddle with my friends and watch movies. i don't date my friends. i don't have oral sex with my friends. i don't look into my friends eyes and caress their faces and tell them i love them. i don't want to marry my friends, or have children with my friends. i guess i'm not a very modern woman. and how can you say the first thing, and then the part i quoted? they completely contradict each other. Link to post Share on other sites
noclobber Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 wow. that's certainly not the truth in my book. i don't hold my friend's hands, i don't kiss my friends. i don't cuddle with my friends and watch movies. i don't date my friends. i don't have oral sex with my friends. i don't look into my friends eyes and caress their faces and tell them i love them. i don't want to marry my friends, or have children with my friends. i guess i'm not a very modern woman. you have answered your own question! almost all of the things that you mentioned above are physical in nature. That's exactly what i am talking about. I used the word sex as a representation of that physical intimacy that you have outlined. Link to post Share on other sites
TeaCooler Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 you have answered your own question! almost all of the things that you mentioned above are physical in nature. That's exactly what i am talking about. I used the word sex as a representation of that physical intimacy that you have outlined. okay, but these are physical things that you do with people who you have a stronger emotional connection with than that of a friend. the point is that it doesn't have to be sex. you can have a very strong friendship with someone, and have a very strong emotional connection with that friend because of it, but it is a different kind. Link to post Share on other sites
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 What I am trying to say here is sex is the bedrock of a relationship!! Wow. I don't think that even merits a response. However: A modern woman does everything that she does with her boyfriend with a male friend... the only thing that she doesn't do is have sex with her friend! I know it sounds crude but I guess that's the truth. Well, that's okay. Didn't you know the modern American only lives to kill people from Iraq? I know it sounds crude but I guess that's the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
noclobber Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 you can have a very strong friendship with someone, and have a very strong emotional connection with that friend because of it, but it is a different kind. totally agree! you can have a great friendship and strong emotional connection with a friend but the physical aspect will just not be there. it exists with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
noclobber Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 Wow. I don't think that even merits a response. okay enlighten me... what is your definition of a boyfriend or girlfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
TeaCooler Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 Wow. I don't think that even merits a response. However: Well, that's okay. Didn't you know the modern American only lives to kill people from Iraq? I know it sounds crude but I guess that's the truth. haha. i just think there's a reason that certain activities and certain feelings are saved for (not to mention inspired by) lovers, and certain others for friends. otherwise, there is no distinction. and to me, there so definitely is. how would you ever know you wanted to date someone if the two were the same? wait til i tell my mom i am old-fashioned. Link to post Share on other sites
noclobber Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 haha. haha. i think someone here has had the wool pulled over his eyes a few times. What can I say? I have been ganged up by the ladies Link to post Share on other sites
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 okay enlighten me... what is your definition of a boyfriend or girlfriend? I beleive I already did, though granted, it was a bit of a generalization. It's subjective, but for me (and, I suppose, most females?) the term "boyfriend" is a testing-ground for a guy I see myself potentially/eventually marrying. Link to post Share on other sites
noclobber Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 It's subjective, but for me (and, I suppose, most females?) the term "boyfriend" is a testing-ground for a guy I see myself potentially/eventually marrying. ... and would you ever get physically intimate with your guyfriend just as you would with your boyfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
TeaCooler Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 i edited that because i felt like i was being snarky, noclobber. sorry you had to see it first. Link to post Share on other sites
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