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Not sure if he really likes me or likes the idea of being in a relationship


NYCA

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OK so I wrote a thread about a guy who I met online a few of weeks ago. In case you haven't read it, I had mentioned that right from the get-go, he was VERY anxious to meet me. He was texting me everyday, calling me, emailing, etc for 2 weeks and we hadn't even met yet. Anyway I was apprehensive but I went through with it and met him. I was relieved that when we met I felt attracted to him and that there was definitely chemistry between us.

 

OK so we've gone on a couple of dates and it's really really strange but I feel as we've known each other for a long time when we really haven't. I feel really comfortable around him and love being with him. When we're not together, we're talking on the phone. If he is not calling me, he is texting me all the time. He uses "we" a lot and he keeps talking about things that we are going to do together.

 

Anyway I am totally happy with the direction that things are going. I definitely could see myself falling for this guy. My concern is that this is all so sudden. It's not that I have a trust issue, but how is it possible for 2 people who haven't known each other this long to be totally into each other? I mean it's crazy, I've never felt like this about anyone before. I am being level-headed about it all. We are not in the "established" phase yet. We still are dating and it would be too quick to call each other girlfriend & boyfriend right now anyway! I know he likes me but I am not sure if he really likes me for me or is infatuated with the idea of having a girlfriend. Has anyone ever been in a situation like this?

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This thread hits home for me. I as well met my recent ex online and things started out that way. We just broke up because all of a sudden he completely changed on me and turned into a selfish jerk and I eventually got the feeling he just wanted me around for sex and companionship.

 

Not to say that he isn't serious, his feelings could very well be legit but if there are signs going off inside you that scream "hold up a minute!" then maybe you need to take a step back and really evaluate things. Get to know him better before you let yourself fall head over heels for him. He could be one of those charmers that acts one way to get a girl to fall for him and then the real person comes out and by then the damage is already done.

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This thread hit home for me too. I met a guy online -accidently.. in a game room. for months we were regulars in this room and started to chat and get to know one another upon the suggestion from another reg. room member that he and I should meet since we didn't live that far apart (5 1/2 hrs). So we begame to chat online-web camming, then the phone calls almost daily, emails frequently. Then we decieded to meet. He floored me when I first layed eyes on him. I almost dropped to my knees. My legs actually became weak and I was utterly speakless. Never in my life has a man ever had a physical effect on me like that. It took me two days before I could even talk to carry a conversation. I was so entranced by him.

After I was able to overcome my speechlessness we carried on like we always did online and on the phone. We both felt like we had known each other forever. We felt like we knew each other in God's world and were seperated upon our births and we found one another again. He moved up to me exactly one month after we met and we had an amazing relationship until he walked out on me 4 months later with no reason...

I was devasted and didn't eat or sleep for 3-4 days. I cried so much I couldn't cry tears. I was numb, spaced out, severly depressed. I couldn't function. I felt like my life was over and I was just waiting to die.

Never in my life had I ever felt such a connection with someone as I did him and he never lead-on that he was having regrets. But when he walked he said he couldn't be away from his kids and that they needed him. I found out shortly, talking to his XW and Xfiance, that he went back to the woman before me. I found out they never ended their contact. She is OCD, Manic Depressive, Borderline Skitz. She was always on a piety party about her feelings for him and missing him. She played a overly needly woman.. (which she is). I was not needy. I have always been strong and keep my independance. I can adore, love, cherish, and shower attention on my partner but I am also strong with myself and can stand on my own feet without having someone to hold me up.

She finally wore him down and he went back to her without thinking it all through. He contacted me with many regrets for leaving me 5 months later. He came to see me and pick up the rest of his stuff that was stored in my garage 9 months later. After that weekend he left and went back to the needy woman 1 1/2 weeks later..

 

I do believe that man was my soulmate in life but life has taken him and I on such twists and turns we can't be together. We are two peas in a pod and the chemistry and compatability are remarkable. But But But we cannot be together... He is so messed up with himself he can't make decisions based on his own happiness. He is a people pleaser for validation. I cannot be with a man who is weak and can't make decision based on his OWN happiness.

I told him to stay out of my life. I told him he is dead to me because having him linger in the shadows of my life is a pain and ache I do not want. It is best to cut him out all together then to allow him to walk in and out of my life disrupting it when he feels the need to reach out.. I made it clear to him I will not call him, talk to him, email him, chat with him, I will not answer his phone calls so he might as well save his energy. The only time I will give him the time of day is IF he is on his death bed or I am on mine..

 

He seemed so perfect and we were inseperatable. I had my dream, my fantasy and it was pulled out from under me. I felt level-headed, confident, and secure. My family and friends said we were a supercouple. We were the perfect couple. We complimented one another. (Like Brad and Jennifer type.) When we broke up everyone including me were shocked. We were together for 6 amazing months and it ended abruptly and with me very very confused... If I didn't have my son I probably would have not had any reason to continue my life but my son needed me and he was my reason to move on join a uncoupling support group and pick myself up..

 

All I can say is be careful and don't ignor any warning signs. Don't make any hasty decisions or jump to conclusions. Just be careful and communicate.........

Communication is the key...

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