How to deal with a good friend who slept with my date

[ChicagoMC]

I had only been dating the girl for a few weeks and things weren't too serious but were getting there. One day I decided to go clubbing with her and introduce her to my friends. We had a great time dancing and drinking and chatting with each other. That was the first time that she ever met any of my friends. At the end of the night, most of my friends had left except one my very good friends that i trust a lot. We decided to go back to his place to watch a movie. I planned on dropping my date at her house after the movie and heading back home. However, things didn't work out the way I planned. The girl fell asleep at my friend's house and would not wake up. After waiting for a couple of hours, I decided to go get some food from a resturant nearby. My friend wanted to stay at home as he was a little drunk and was not in the mood to leave the house and since I trusted him, i thought nothing would happen between him and my date. I was wrong. By the time I got back, they had already made out. I got really upset and decided to leave his house right after i found that out. I offered the girl a ride back home which she refused and instead decided to stay with him. Later, both of them apologized for their behavior. I accepted my friend's apology but decided to forget about the girl as she was obviously not worth my time. However, I later I found out that my friend kept on meeting her even after he apologized. I am not sure about how to handle this situation. My friend argues that there wasn't anything serious between me and her and that if there was something genuine between me and her, he would have never done that.

[westernxer]

Your friend is making excuses, but that's what friends do when you have something they want, which shows how much of a friend he really is.

[IrishCarbomb]

Your friend did you a huge favor. She was a wh0re and not worth taking out. Still want to sleep with her? Go ahead... she's a wh0re and that's what they're there for.

[Gold Pile]

He is not a good friend. She is not a good friend. Period

[nextel]

Now you know that no matter how much you trust and/or another man....you should never leave a girl you are interested in with them.

 

We hear of stories about how a brother slept with his brothers' wife. What made you think a girl you barely knew was off limits? Yes, from what I hear there is an unspoken rule that a man should never be interested in his friends woman, but very few men honor that word.

 

I happen to know for a fact that men will do what they want regardless of the consequences. Years ago, I had a boyfriend. His best friend tried on many occassions to make sexual advances towards me and warned him each and everytime. His uncle tried the same thing and I stood my ground to be loyal to the man I was with. Perhaps the guy I was dating had told them that he was not serious about me. Regardless, because I respected myself, I was not going to let anyone disrespect me.

 

Clearly she did not respect you and herself. Your so-called "friend" does not value you or your friendship. Take the apology with a grain of salt. Dont be enemies, but dont be friends either. Keep your distance and learn your lesson. Now you know better, you should never trust any man with the woman you are interested in.

[mini696]

I happen to know for a fact that men will do what they want regardless of the consequences.

That is NOT TRUE!!

 

I agree with Gold Pile "He is not a good friend. She is not a good friend. Period"

 

Mick

[SuperMonk]

your friend ain't a friend. he broke the "bros before hos" rule. throw him outta the street and find another real friend.

[Unr53634red234]

Have a threesome.... or foursome with your friend's date next time....

[mini696]

"Bro's before Ho's" is a rule for players. But your friend did overstep a major line... Never mess with a friends chick.

[ChicagoMC]

Okay, let me add some more information to the story. It was him who first told me about screwing around with her while i was gone and it was him who later told me about meeting up with her again. I asked the girl and she admitted to it and I have a strong feeling that she wouldn't have told me herself if the guy never brought it up. Should i take that as honesty or his attempt to put me down by telling me that he screwed my girl?

[RecordProducer]

The girl was never your friend or your girlfriend so she was allowed to choose this guy over you, although the situation is very awkward as she was dating you. But the point is, she was dating you until she met HIM. So she stopped dating you. She is not being a whore, she has a right to chooseone person over another.

 

On the other hand, your friend is obviously not someone you can trust completely so next time don't bring your girls in his house.

[ChicagoMC]

The girl was never your friend or your girlfriend so she was allowed to choose this guy over you

 

true that she wasn't a friend or a girlfriend. She was somewhere in the middle..

 

She is not being a whore, she has a right to chooseone person over another.

 

But i don't quite agree with that since it was skanky to choose (and screw on top of that) not just some random guy but my friend that i introduce her to while she is on a date with me. If she had done that another time with another person, it wouldn't be so bad.

 

Nextel is right.. never trust a guy no matter how good of a friend he is to you when it comes to girls.. It's just instinctual for the majority to make sexual advances towards a girl who is all by herself in their house. I am just glad that I'm not among the majority and would follow the unwritten rule

[sparkles0913]

Hey Chicago,

I hate to break it to you, but she was probably leaning towards the person giving her the most attention. While it sounds like a long shot, I've been in kind of the exact same situation before. And no, she's not a whore if she just made out with somebody and did you ask her what happened? Did you verify all of this information with both parties? I've learned the hard way that a lot of guys like to tell their friends that they did a lot more with a girl than they actually do, and it sux for the girl b/c it does make her sound bad. Maybe she didn't think the date went well if the friend was giving her more attention than you were? Maybe she did like you, but didn't feel you were reciporicating the feeling, so she settled for seeing your friend? Any of these are actually possible, even though they don't sound too feasible.

[Cecelius]

A girl who was at your place with you makes out with another guy while there? That's a ho.

 

Of course she has the right to choose, and you have the right to think what you want of her.

 

Why in the world would you even think of taking sloppy seconds off your friend? Your title indicates more than just a little fooling around? I would never want to get involved with a girl who has just banged another dude -- at least not until there's been time for his stuff to work its way out.

 

I can't tell why this is even an issue.

[lindya]

I would never want to get involved with a girl who has just banged another dude -- at least not until there's been time for his stuff to work its way out.

 

Old proverb say one should only stir porridge with a wooden spoon.

 

May the sisterhood forgive me, I can't believe I just wrote that. I don't know what's wrong with me today.

[TUDOR]

The girl is the easier part here, don't give her a second thought because she doesn't deserve it and you need not waste any more time on her.

 

The friend however obviously means more to you then that cum dumpster of a women did. The question is do you want to write this friend off as well because of his betrayal of your friendship? If it were me, I would. There is no excuse for going after another friends woman no matter how serious or not it is. He disrespected you in the worst possible way and does't seem to show any remorse and only offering up lame excuses. I would make it a point to call him out for what he did, say your peace and then wish him luck with his ho. Go find some more respectable friends to hang with and put this behind you.

[whichwayisup]

My friend argues that there wasn't anything serious between me and her and that if there was something genuine between me and her, he would have never done that.

 

That's bullcrap! You showed up with her as your date, he knew that and it seems he has justified his actions by downplaying whether or not you two were serious about eachother. She, on the otherhand is just as responsible. She probably is insecure and used the fact she had too much to drink as an excuse too. Another line of bullcrap.

 

You did the right thing by letting her go - But as for you friend, he is a pig! If he was a good friend he would not have even made a move on her, period! IF she made the first move, he SHOULD have said NO. Obviously the booze factor came into play here but it still is no excuse for messing around with a friend's girl.