Emotional distance? Men can u respond??

[freckles3131]

I'm 37....Had a nice date night Sat. my ex b.f that I am dating. He is going to Indiana tomorrow for a job interview (we live in M.A.) , if he accepts the job he will be moving far from me. He knows if he does take the job I cannot move out there with him.(I have a son, need to stay in state)

 

So we have a nice evening on Sat. night, he was caring, loving etc...(we are only on month 3 of re-aquainting with one another after being apart for 2 yrs.) He also has alot of other stuff on his plate, His truck engine is in pieces in his garage and needs to be fixed asap(not going well) He just got a new roomate, needs to REALLY think about uprooting(he is someone who has lived in the same place all his life and would only know one person in Indiana...so not an easy decision. Basically it would be alot more money, but give up familiarity, family, friends etc..) His parents are on him to clean his stuff out of the attic and cellar(tons of tools and stuff from over the years, his mom is anal and wants it done yesterday) Worried about money(to move out there etc..)

So....I KNOW he needed some space to deal with this stuff(and kept my distance as to not influence his decision in any way) He is overwhelmed to say the least...BUT>>>>>

I saw him Sat. no contact till Tues. I emailed him "Just checking in. I know you are prob. overwhelmed, tired, confused but just thought I'd say hi and that I'm thinking of you" then today I called and wished him good luck and have a safe flight(voicemail) I haven't heard from him since Sunday.....QUESTION: Is he keeping some element of distance(emotionally) due to the fact he might be moving away in a month or so...OR....is it he is just overwhelmed/super busy/lots on the brain and needs to sort it all out.....(we only were talking on the phone once or twice a week before this, but I felt he would call me at least once to say how things are...)

Need to know....How men think.....am I overanalyzing the lack of contact this week??

[freckles3131]

I just read about men going into their "cave" when they are stressed...i.e. men are solution oriented and tend to see seeking support/advice as a weakness...is this what he is doing...Going into his "cave" as stated in the men are from mars book?

[ScionaraTC]

I just read about men going into their "cave" when they are stressed...i.e. men are solution oriented and tend to see seeking support/advice as a weakness...is this what he is doing...Going into his "cave" as stated in the men are from mars book?

 

it could be a little bit of both. he could be really stressed/busy with him moving, and also he could be emotionally unstable right now towards you, so by him "caving" isnt really a bad thing, its just that he needs to get other priorities in his life in order before he starts the next plate in his life.

 

personally, i wouldnt worry about it too much. after all, you said you have had a great date? So i can't really see too much to worry about, dont worry give him time, he will come around to you, you have his attention, let him step up to the plate once he is finished with his job/moving situation

 

Good Luck to you!

[freckles3131]

Yes, that's how I felt. Just hard being on this end, with feelings and finally getting to where we need to be(with each of our level of self-awareness/inner growth) to have a good shot at making this work...only to have this potential move looming....trying to be okay with it all, and supportive of him....although it will be hard if he does move....trying to be self-less in the situation and it ain't easy....PLUS....I'm a Virgo(over-analytical) and a women(over analytical) trying to work on that... ;-)

[ScionaraTC]

ah yes a Virgo...no wonder ;-)

 

well as i said, things will work out for you! keep faith! good luck!