Update on Need Advice about Guy (any stockbrokers in the forum?)

[orionstar379]

Hey Everyone!

 

Thanks again for for all the responses to my long post I wrote 2 weeks ago. Well here is a brief update. If there are any men in the stockbroking field...please respond! Thanks!

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So for those that read my long novel, anyway....it was by chance I ran into the guy I recently met. (For those who did not see the post..I wrote about this guy I met...took my gf out...she got wickedly drunk and was extremely out of control, and I never heard from him again.)....anyway to go on...he never did call me back...but last Friday...I ran into him by his place. He invited me in and we spoke for about 20 minutes. He apologized for not calling and assured me it had nothing to do with my friend and her behavior and that it had nothing to do with me. I mentioned in my old post...he was studying for his Series 7 and just got a new job at Met Life. Since he is the new guy...he is putting in the hrs. working from 8-7:30pm or longer on some nights.

 

I told him....I understand he is busy but it did not excuse the fact he could of called 1 time. I told him he was just as busy prior to meeting me..yet he would call on his lunch breaks and whenever he could. He said...what do u want me to say? I told him to be honest. If he lost interest or if he is involved with someone else...just tell me...and that I would be on my way with no hard feelings. I told him...I just want closure. I asked him if he understood where I was getting all this "upset" feelings from...and he said he did. Again..he reassured me it had nothing to do with anything. He said he has not spoken to his father in over a week nor any of his close friends he has known for years. I asked straight out do you still want to hang out and are u sure it is not me. He says it has nothing to do with me..and that he is still interested. He says he is really busy with this new job...and that he will find time to hang out with me and call when he can. But he cannot make promises. He said will try. He said he likes me....so as I was leaving...he gave me a hug and we kissed.

 

I left feeling better....and I truly believe he was being honest. He gave me no indication to think otherwise. I did notice he was very pale...he was losing some of his muscle tone from not going to the gym...and that his face was very tiresome...like he did not sleep well for days. And furthermore...if he was not interested...I guess he would not invited me in...explain his side nor give me a kiss.....I do believe him............

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So,.,.my question is.................Since I do not know anything about what the job specifics for a new person getting into stockbroking....could he really be honest with me...about being busy with work.?

 

I mean....I thought law school was nuts or studying for pre-med and doing rounds was crazy....with no sleep...always work...work and more work....

 

So...when a new person recently out of college gets a new job say in Met Life and studying for his exams....do they really work all those crazy hours....?

 

One last thing...he did mention that his job was important to him...and since he was new....he is younger then the rest of the staff...he has a huge load on his shoulders............

 

I never force issues with men regarding work...for I pack in 50-60 hrs. per week every week....and I am so tired....I cannot go out or get things done at home...all I want is my bed....

 

So....any insight would be great....Thanks! =0)

[JS17]

Hi Orion...I'm a woman but I work in the Finance field. When you are starting out in a Stockbrokerage postion it can be really stressful... I mean REALLY stressful. Plus on top of it he has the pressure of having to pass these exams...they're expensive and he can't trade without them. He's probably done with if he can't pass them.

 

With that said, he might be lying, he might not be, we don't know. If you're really interested, give him until the exams are over. Keep dating around until he's more committed to the relationship. On the other hand, he may not be the right guy for you if he can't give you the attention that you need after this intensive study period.

[questionsforyall]

the stress of his job could be getting to him like you say and he might not be in the best mood which could stop him from calling/contacting you because he might not want you to experience him in this stressed out state that he is in, i know i have avoided talking to people because i just knew that i wasnt in the right mind set to be talkin to anyone and it was probably better that i didnt

 

maybe he doesnt want to call you up and go ok i gotta go im so freakin stressed im going to explode like an egg in the microwave or something:cool:

 

u get that? make sense?

[Topper]

There was a a time in my life that a 12 hour day was considered a short day. I was juggling a lot of very large financial commitments and was under some very stressful dead lines. With all that on my plate I still found time to make a quick call to a woman That I was really interested in. As They say he is just not that into You.

[jen_jen_heartbroken]

Orion,

I'm in a similiar situation, yet I'm getting a different response from my man than you are.

 

My boyfriend's job recently demanded more travel to various work sites and quite a bit of overtime as well. He's lucky if he gets one day a week off (which he usually spends with me), and lately he's out of town four out of seven days a week. The poor man barely has time to drop off his dry cleaning, let alone study for the class he's taking too.

 

There were a few days that went by that I didn't hear from him, which was a change from the normal everyday contact, even if it's just a phone call while he's out of town. I got worried, even though he's so usually attentive with flowers and cards and little gifts and lots of "I love you"s when we are together.

 

When I talked to him about how much I missed hearing from him, he was so very apologetic and said that he really felt bad that he made me feel like he wasn't interested, because that wasn't the case. Ever since then he's been even more attentive and never misses a day to call me to tell me that he's madly in love.

 

Now, with regards to your situation, I have personal knowledge that a new stockbroker has to work some fierce hours to build up his/her book of clients. It's a rough and competitive business. The hours can be grueling. BUT, no matter how busy someone gets, there's always a way to find a minute or two to call, even if they can't physically be with the other person. It's a matter of priortizing. You may or may not be at the top of his priority list.

 

Even if your relationship is new, I don't think it's unreasonable for you to expect that he expresses consistent interest in you, with a daily phone call at the very least.

 

Since you just recently spoke with him about this, give it a few days to see how he responds. If he doesn't kick up his interest a few notches, then perhaps you should re-evaluate the situation and decide whether you want to talk to him some more about how you are feeling, or whether you should back away from him and look for someone who will make their interest in you more of a priority.