bellaD Posted September 20, 2005 Share Posted September 20, 2005 What do you you do when your bf is soooo stubborn and has sooo much pride that he can't admit and realize that hes wrong and refuses to apologize. It takes a week of the silent treatment for hime to realize!! I can't take it anymore. and he doesn't listen when i try and talk to him in a civil manor. how can i make him realize...what do i tell him??? your expertise would be greatly appreciated b/c im running outta solutions. Link to post Share on other sites
poeticus Posted September 20, 2005 Share Posted September 20, 2005 Give us an example of a typical scenario between you two... starting from the point that he screws up. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted September 20, 2005 Share Posted September 20, 2005 What do you you do when your bf is soooo stubborn and has sooo much pride that he can't admit and realize that hes wrong and refuses to apologize. It takes a week of the silent treatment for hime to realize!! I can't take it anymore. and he doesn't listen when i try and talk to him in a civil manor. how can i make him realize...what do i tell him??? your expertise would be greatly appreciated b/c im running outta solutions. Unfortunately, my ex was the same way. very stubborn. That was one the reasons that lead to our downfall. I would say talk to him. I know that it doesn't sound easy, but IMHO, that is the best idea. Tell him how you feel. Link to post Share on other sites
LazyLibra Posted September 20, 2005 Share Posted September 20, 2005 Unfortunately stubborn people are nearly impossible to change. My father is the same way! I can't really "break up" with my father so i have developed a way to deal with him. If i were you, i'd get out of it while you can. life is too short and if the person you are with isn't your cup of tea and isn't willing to work things out, then it's time to move on. Communication is a key element to a successful relationship Link to post Share on other sites
Author bellaD Posted September 20, 2005 Author Share Posted September 20, 2005 i really love him- we understand eachother on a differnt level. How do i go about talking to him and telling him in a way where he won't get defensive. You know how stubborn people are...very defensive and they do not take criticism very well. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted September 20, 2005 Share Posted September 20, 2005 i really love him- we understand eachother on a differnt level. How do i go about talking to him and telling him in a way where he won't get defensive. You know how stubborn people are...very defensive and they do not take criticism very well. That is why they are stubborn. They take offense to everything. I hate to sound pessimistic, but I think for the most part, stubborn people will never change. So, you can either get use to it, or think about getting out of the relationship. Like i mentioned before, try talking to him, but with stubborn people, you must be very careful with how you word things. Believe me, I know from past experiences. Best of luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
poeticus Posted September 20, 2005 Share Posted September 20, 2005 I'd still like to hear an example. The reason I ask is, bella might be coming across as accusatory or blameful, hence her boyfriend's defensiveness. I'm not saying she is, or putting blame anywhere..but remember there are always two sides to a story. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bellaD Posted September 21, 2005 Author Share Posted September 21, 2005 what happened in your past relationships? Link to post Share on other sites
poeticus Posted September 21, 2005 Share Posted September 21, 2005 A lot. Too much to detail here. After all, I'm here to help others, not go over my long and complicated past. I'm 30, though, with years of relationship experience, if that's what you're wondering about. Link to post Share on other sites
sleeplessincnd Posted September 21, 2005 Share Posted September 21, 2005 My bf is like this and we are getting better. Talk to him right after you make up and explain to him the importance of communicating. Talk to him so he knows how you feel when he shuts you out and then make him agree to talk about stuff soon after it happens. When you have a disagreement, be the bigger person and remind him that he agreed to talk with you when there are problems. Link to post Share on other sites
lost_in_chgo Posted September 21, 2005 Share Posted September 21, 2005 It takes a week of the silent treatment for hime to realize!! Well, he's probably not "realizing" he's just giving in. His opinion probably didn't change he's just lying to ease the situation What do you you do when your bf is soooo stubborn and has sooo much pride that he can't admit and realize that hes wrong and refuses to apologize. I know this is probably a stretch to accept, but what if he's right? Link to post Share on other sites
poeticus Posted September 21, 2005 Share Posted September 21, 2005 I agree with the above comments. Also, when an issue comes up, try to avoid blameful language, which usually starts off with things like "Why can't you..." and "You should/shouldn't...".. the list goes on and on. Also make sure to approach the situation after both of you have calmed down and can talk reasonably. Beyond that, I think we'd need some examples of what's going on. It's hard to say who's escalating the problem here.. Link to post Share on other sites
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